Thanks for your respectful reply and honest question.
My investigation of Catholicism was made simultaneously with a critical evaluation of the Reformed theology I had grown up with. The first time though I hit the high points of the most common doctrinal differences (
sola scriptura,
sola fide, Marian doctrines, etc.), expecting that I would quickly prove Catholic teaching to be false. But what happened was that Catholic teaching appeared more sound than I expected, and Reformed theology less.
I was surprised, and dug in deeper. But the more I studied the worse it got, until I realised that in every case the best that Reformed theology could do in my mind was a draw. In many cases Catholic theology was more consistent with scripture, reason and the evidence of the beliefs of the early Church.
I slowly realised that I believed that Catholic doctrine was wrong not because the Holy Spirit speaking in Scripture told me so, but because it was what I'd been taught from childhood.
One day I was studying the Westminster Confession and noticed something in a new light:
"The Lord Jesus, as king and head of his Church, hath therein appointed a government in the hand of Church officers, distinct from the civil magistrate. To these officers the keys of the kingdom of heaven are committed, by virtue whereof they have power respectively to retain and remit sins, to shut that kingdom against the impenitent, both by the Word and censures;...
It belongeth to synods and councils, ministerially, to determine controversies of faith, and cases of conscience...
When I checked the scripture references I didn't find that they made the case very well. So I did my own study to find out what Scripture said about the institution of the Church government. I concluded that these statements are consistent with the texts of Sacred Scripture and with the extra-biblical historical evidence:
1. The church is a divine institution: the Bride and Body of Christ. ( Eph. 1:22-23; Song of Songs; Isaiah 62; Jeremiah 2:1-3; Jeremiah 3:1-5, 3:19-20, 5:7)
2. The church is the foundation and pillar of truth. (1 Tim. 3:15)
3. The Church is forever visible, not hidden. (John 1:3-5; Matt. 5:14-15; Luke 8:16,11:33)
4. The Church will proclaim the true gospel continuously, forever. (Isaiah 59:21; Matt. 16:18b; Matt. 28:20b; 1 Pet 1:25)
5. The Church is built on the foundation of the Apostles.( Ephesians 2:17-22; Ephesians 3:4-5)
6. Jesus will always be with the Apostles, and they will never teach erroneous doctrine. (John 14:16-17; 15:26; 16:12-13, 17:17-19.)
7. The Apostles speak with the authority of God. (Matthew 10:20, Luke 10:16)
8. The Apostles will remember everything Jesus taught them. (John 14:16-18, 26, Luke 21:33)
9. The Apostles will be one in the doctrine they teach. (John 17:20-23)
10. The Apostles have to power to forgive sin. (John 20:21-23)
11. God will give the Apostles whatever they ask for in Christs name, and the fruit they bear will remain. (John 15:16, 16:23; Romans 1:13)
12. St. Peter has a pre-eminent place among the Apostles. (Matthew 16:17-19; Isaiah 22:20-25)
13. The Apostles, and not the believers at large, had the authority to interpret Scripture and teach binding doctrine. (Rom 13:1-2; Heb. 13:17; 1 Tim 1:3; 2 Pet. 1:1621, 3:2, 3:16; Jude 8, 10-11 (ref. to Numbers 16)
14. The Magesterium (the teaching authority of Christs Church) exercised that authority to make binding decisions on matters of faith. (Acts 15)
15. The teaching authority that Jesus gave to the Apostles extended to the Apostles sucessors. (Acts 1:20,26; 2 Tim 2:2; 1 Cor 3:9-11)
16. The early Church believed in the sucession of Magesterial authority. (Clement of Rome, Ignatius of Antioch, Cyprian of Carthage)
I was thus forced, against my will, to further conclude that the overwhelming evidence from Sacred Scripture and from extra-biblical historical doumentation is that Jesus founded a Church with a visible, hierarchical and infallible teaching authority vested in the sucessor to St. Peter and the Bishops in union with him
Faced with that, I desperately searched for any evidence that the early church held doctrine consistent with Reformation Protestantism. That search was in vain, and in fact the evidence overwhelmingly shows that the Church, from the earliest days, unabashedly taught doctrines that are held by the Catholic Church and that were rejected by the Reformers. This is the reason I abandoned Protestantism and formally entered the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil of 2004.
At that time there were still a number of teachings with which I had difficulty, but in the face of that was the truth that Christ gave
His Church the authority to determine doctrine. He didn't give it to
me.
I wasn't in the room when he made those promises to the Apostles.
If I was certain of some doctrine, and Jesus appeared to me and told me I was wrong, then I'd abandon my firmly held belief because Jesus is Truth, who can neither deceive nor be deceived. And He established His Church with a teaching authority, saying "he who hears you, hears me." So when the Church defines a doctrine with which I disagree, then on the authority of Christ I know that
I'm the one who's wrong.
Since then I've resolved those remaining difficulties. They had to do with Catholic teachings on sexual morality. I was most certainly wrong.