miscarried just on Nov 1st

[nessa]

Everything was going great...happily engaged finally, and finally pregnant. But i woke up one day from a nap with uncomfortable feelings. Lucky me, they turned into cramps about an hour later. My fiance took me to the emergency room, and the doc said i had a full miscarriage.

Why is it that nobody explained how hurt i would feel? How guilty i would feel, and how upset? Why is it that i can barely eat, barely sleep, and always upset?

are these feelings normal?

 

[izarya]

Yes they are normal feelings, and I'm sorry to hear about your loss. My heart really goes out to you, my wife miscarried once and I think it effected me psychologically just as much as it did her.

You didn't do anything wrong, God is not punishing you (that was the way I felt). Who knows what he has planed for you... It happened to us about 12 years ago, since then He has given us 6 more!

 

[nessa]

my fiance is making me nervous with this because he won't let himself be affected by it yet...his main worry is a place to live *we are about to be kicked out unless he has a job in the next 3 days*...he says after he finds a job he will cry...how am i supposed to handle him then if i don't know if i will be able to handle myself?

 

[TheMatmanReturns]

my fiance is making me nervous with this because he won't let himself be affected by it yet...his main worry is a place to live *we are about to be kicked out unless he has a job in the next 3 days*...he says after he finds a job he will cry...how am i supposed to handle him then if i don't know if i will be able to handle myself?

My wife miscarried our second child on June 22. I know how you feel.

Your fiance is trying to be strong for you. Let him. For all you know, he may be crying when you are not looking.

In the meantime, seek the Lord for Hs strength. Then, everything else will fall into place. It will just take some time.

Lord bless this young girl in Jesus name with your peace.

 

[RED that's ME]

Sorry nessa Praying for ya.

What I've read 1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriages. My mom had 2 before I was born and she talked about the emotional, mental, physical part of it.

A good book you might read is *Empty Arms* by Pamela W. Vredevelt. My mom has that book and recommends it to others.

 

[nessa]

What did i do to deserve something like this though? Why is it hurting me so much? I am stronger than this! This isn't fair. I WANT MY BABY! I want to be happy again!

 

[heatherq17]

I am so sorry for your loss. My son Conner was stillborn last year and I recently had a miscarriage in June. The pain never goes away but it gets easier. Sending you ((Hugs)) Pm me anytime if you ever want to talk!

 

[nessa]

today feels worse than any of them...i would have been 3 months pregnant today. I am around kids, so i can't just cry, they wouldn't understand. How do i get the pain and anguish out?

 

[lostndown]

hi nessa.

i had a m/c also. yeah its really hard to go thru. im still dealing with it myself. my due date would be tomorrow, so yeah. if u need anything at all, just pm me and we can talk. im here for u anytime. i added u to my msn messenger. im praying ur fiancee' gets the job soon.

im really sorry u had a misc. if u need/wanna talk, just im or pm me. we are strong and can get thru this hard hard time. i am 20. i feel like crying ALL the time, but i cant. i will tomorrow though i know. u did nothing wrong hon. u didnt do anything to deserve this. i know I WANT MY BABY too!!!!

i never knew what i was having but i wanted a girl under the circumstances ---> (rape) so i named her Alexis Kayelyn. God is getting me thru this. months later it's still so hard. i dunno how to help u out other than to say i know what ur going thru and so do the ladies on the pregnancy loss board. if u need anything at all, just pm one of us.

God will pull u thru hon and your fiancee' too. you'll have your good days and your bad days. today i am ok just kinda sick still. yesterday i was sick. if you want to talk bout anything or pray or even cry, just send me a pm. u can write him/her letters anytime u want. i know it may help to get it out on paper.

Lord,
hold nessa and her fiancee' in your loving arms. help them to get thru this really hard time of having lost their baby. i know u have our angels with u but its still really rough. give her a hug for me. give her a special peace and comfort right now. It's in Your name i pray, amen...

~michelle~ (Alicia)

 

[Im_A]

Everything was going great...happily engaged finally, and finally pregnant. But i woke up one day from a nap with uncomfortable feelings. Lucky me, they turned into cramps about an hour later. My fiance took me to the emergency room, and the doc said i had a full miscarriage.

Why is it that nobody explained how hurt i would feel? How guilty i would feel, and how upset? Why is it that i can barely eat, barely sleep, and always upset?

are these feelings normal?

i'm a guy and of course i have never had a miscarriage, and i have never went through one, but i sure hope your pain goes away for you.

i'll send a prayer for you. God Bless you and May God continually bless you and your fiancee's relationship in these times! <><

 

[Im_A]

my fiance is making me nervous with this because he won't let himself be affected by it yet...his main worry is a place to live *we are about to be kicked out unless he has a job in the next 3 days*...he says after he finds a job he will cry...how am i supposed to handle him then if i don't know if i will be able to handle myself?

i should have added this with my first response and i apologize for a double post.

just embrace him at this time. for yourself, for him, and for the relationship. he may be dealing with it the way he feels he has to. us guys deal with things a bit differently than women a lot of the times.

imagine yourself as him. his responsibility and obligation to provide income and support for you and him, and now he just lost his child too.

us guys always eventually show our hurting side. it's just maybe he is trying to focus on the needs at the dire moment, and to just keep living by being strong and taking care of the dire needs first instead of going into our emotional/hurting side just so we know that we can still take care of the responsibility and obligations that are still on our heads in regards to relationship even though something that is tragic happened.

again, may God Bless you two during these times.

 

[lostndown]

hon im praying for u and ur fiance. i am really sorry u lost your baby. i know how hard it is not to cry. if u want or need to talk, feel free to pm me or anyone on this board. we are here for support. *hugs*

God bless u

 

[jenrenee]

Hi there. I'm pretty new to this whole site, but I saw this forum and wanted to jump right in. I know how you feel. I have been there twice - I've had two miscarraiges in the past year. We are still trying for our first and it's so hard to have to wait to start a family. My first m/c was a little over a year ago and it still hurts. The difference is that now I know that it's always going to hurt, I'm always going to remember the pain, and cry - but I can live with it now and move on. It does get easier, although it never goes away. You just have to try and look forward - think about the baby that you will someday have. God Bless You!

 

[mily83]

I just went through the same thing on Christmas (of all days). I hope that it does get easier. I will pray for you! Good luck in the future if you decide to try again.

 

[TheMatmanReturns]

I just went through the same thing on Christmas (of all days). I hope that it does get easier. I will pray for you! Good luck in the future if you decide to try again.

Are you ok?

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

I am praying for you

 

[JDIBe]

What did i do to deserve something like this though? Why is it hurting me so much? I am stronger than this! This isn't fair. I WANT MY BABY! I want to be happy again!

Hi Ladies,

Just passing through. Please consider the following comments from a well meaning guy who is truly sorry for your loss.

14 years ago, my wife miscarried our twins early on. It was her first pregnancy. It was a difficult time for both of us. Sometimes, as a consequence of Adam's sin, bad things just happen in this world. Sometimes a miscarriage is just God's way of making sure that everything that comes out has a fighting chance.

As I am a Christian, and believe that life begins at conception, I count them in my heart as two of my children. I have full confidence that both of them are nestled in the arms of my Heavenly Father, unblemished and unspotted from living in this world, waiting to meet me when I come Home. Should you feel guilty? No. Should you hurt? Probably. What good could ever come from such a thing? Someday, 14 years from now, you may find yourself cruising a message board reading something and because God has made your heart softer, you know exactly how someone feels. Maybe you can say some small thing that would be helpful. God has blessed me with 2 more wonderful children since, but I still have the memory of my "first two". Does it ever go completely away? No. Can you eventually rationalize it so it makes perfect sense? Probably not. But in time, you find a way to make your peace with it...

I apologize in advance if this post comes across overly melodramatic. The feelings and concern are real even if the words were not chosen properly.

God bless you all.

 

[mrslisae]

Hi there,
I pray you're growing stronger with each day and that your housing situation has improved as well as the job search. I've been through it all. I mc our first and then we had one and I mc our third. Its a loss that deserves to be grieved. No need to push yourself to move on so quickly. Mourning takes time. At first you just try to get through the hours,then days,weeks,months. I'm working my way through years now. I pray the best for you ~hugs~

 

[nessa]

hey guys...it has been a long time... i don't have a computer, so i can't get on very often... I know that May 22 is going to be a VERY hard day for me...my due date

i ask for prayers for my cousin...he lost his 2 month old baby the WEEK of Christmas of SIDS..He is doing okay now...he has his good and bad days.

 

[BigToe]

*snuggles*