- Feb 13, 2025
- 9
- 17
- 26
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Has anyone else had an experience where God seemed to be answering your prayer(s) but then the opposite happened?
This happens a lot in my life especially lately and Im curious to hear your experiences if something similar happened to you. I know that God can do as He pleases because he is God and always has reasons for allowing things to happen even when we don't understand it. I still trust God because He knows best but Im just being honest here it's been very difficult to have the experiences ive had regarding getting the hopes of answered prayer only for things to go a completely different direction that leaves me hurt and bewildered. Ive had plenty of experiences where I pray diligently for something (good things such as good friends, health, etc), and it seems im getting lead somewhere towards the answer or things seem to be working out only for me to end up completely at a dead end or experiencing something worse that is definitely not an answered prayer.
The most recent example of this was after it seemed like God was blessing me with a good group of friends and especially a few of those people I could count on more deeply, things went south unexpectedly. God knows that I need a lot of support because of my health issues and not getting much support growing up. He also knows the wounds I have where pretty much every friend growing up switched up on me and would take and take and not be considerate of me or my feelings (Christian and nonchristian friends). So I have a hard time trusting people and I always fear theyll be taken away or leave just as each friend has done since I was in elementary school (and ive gone to therapy for this and spoken to church elders and wise adults, and they have confirmed that it was because these people treated me wrong because they were selfish and immature and didnt know how to reciprocate the friendship like I did).
Anyway, I pray constantly for God to provide me with genuine friends who can reciprocate the care and energy I give and friends I can feel safe/be myself with, and last year I thought he was finally answering that prayer. I got even closer to a current friend and we understood eachother just like siblings do, and were there for eachother and really got to know eachother better. Through her i also met a group of kind hearted people and we spent a lot of time together throughout the year. I also just started living alone and when you live alone (and are chronically ill), you need a good support system or at least one person you can rely on in times of need. This friend was someone who was always willing to help and be there for me, and I did the same to her and i thanked God frequently for her, the friends I made through her, and for giving me her as a support system because living alone as a young, ill woman isn't easy.
However, about 2 months ago something happened where she falsely accused me of something and despite me apologizing sincerely and explaining myself (even though I had nothing to apologize for), she is refusing to see me or speak to me much right now. I think she is pondering if she wants to continue our friendship. Because she's like the glue that holds the rest of the friends together I don't think they want to see/speak to me either right now. What happened was complicated but I did not intend to hurt her on purpose, i talked to church pastors and they even agreed it isnt my fault and she is just being immature.
This sudden conflict with her also happened after her and I had a heart to heart talk about being thankful for eachother (because we were talking about our past/current hurts and issues with certain other people in our lives, and we expressed that we were thankful we had eachother). After I saw her that night I thanked God for blessing me with a friend like her before I went to bed. Then the next day all hell broke lose.
All this to say, Im devasted. God knew that the people/support system I had before last year was gone and I was grieving that, and also struggling with having to be on my own due to extenuating circumstances and managing an incurable illness and working to survie on top of it all. He also knew that ive gone through loss after major loss just in the past 2 years alone. I really didn't think he would allow this to happen with my closest friend. And with this language, I am not blaming him. God gives and takes away, and he has his reasons to. I may never know those reasons but I am honest with him, i ask him why, i tell him that im weary from going through too many losses and upset that I thought my prayers for good friends were finally being answered but its another false hope, and ive had too many of those to count, but this one hurts the most. This friend was there for me when i was going through all my other major losses, and coping with those circumstances was easier because of that, but now if i lose this friend I wont be able to recover. My illness also causes my body to be way more sensitive to any stressors and emotions, and because of this ive felt so physically ill and worn down. I know God has his reasons and maybe he will restore but i havent seen proof of much restoration in my life despite praying tirelessly for it. I also never idolized her or depended unhealthily on her, she was just the first person who truly understood me and reciprocated my efforts and displayed some selflessness, and the first person I could be myself with after encountering judgemental, selfish friends my entire life.
What ive concluded so far is God is proving to me that i shouldnt get my hopes up, and that he probably wants me to be isolated and alone. Im used to not getting my hopes up, but i was hoping that maybe, this time would be different. I still believe in God and his goodness, but im tired. Its hard to want to live when things keep being taken and there is no enjoyment at all. I know as Christians we dont live for solely for enjoyment but im not and never have asked God for much. Its not wrong to want some good things in life. But i cant even get crumbs. I feel guilty for thanking God for such a wonderful friend because it blew up in my face after.
If anyone has a similar story, please share. Also I would just like to hear your experiences and what you have learned or how such events made you feel or how it affected your faith. No theology please, just sound advice if you have it, and personal, honest experiences.
This happens a lot in my life especially lately and Im curious to hear your experiences if something similar happened to you. I know that God can do as He pleases because he is God and always has reasons for allowing things to happen even when we don't understand it. I still trust God because He knows best but Im just being honest here it's been very difficult to have the experiences ive had regarding getting the hopes of answered prayer only for things to go a completely different direction that leaves me hurt and bewildered. Ive had plenty of experiences where I pray diligently for something (good things such as good friends, health, etc), and it seems im getting lead somewhere towards the answer or things seem to be working out only for me to end up completely at a dead end or experiencing something worse that is definitely not an answered prayer.
The most recent example of this was after it seemed like God was blessing me with a good group of friends and especially a few of those people I could count on more deeply, things went south unexpectedly. God knows that I need a lot of support because of my health issues and not getting much support growing up. He also knows the wounds I have where pretty much every friend growing up switched up on me and would take and take and not be considerate of me or my feelings (Christian and nonchristian friends). So I have a hard time trusting people and I always fear theyll be taken away or leave just as each friend has done since I was in elementary school (and ive gone to therapy for this and spoken to church elders and wise adults, and they have confirmed that it was because these people treated me wrong because they were selfish and immature and didnt know how to reciprocate the friendship like I did).
Anyway, I pray constantly for God to provide me with genuine friends who can reciprocate the care and energy I give and friends I can feel safe/be myself with, and last year I thought he was finally answering that prayer. I got even closer to a current friend and we understood eachother just like siblings do, and were there for eachother and really got to know eachother better. Through her i also met a group of kind hearted people and we spent a lot of time together throughout the year. I also just started living alone and when you live alone (and are chronically ill), you need a good support system or at least one person you can rely on in times of need. This friend was someone who was always willing to help and be there for me, and I did the same to her and i thanked God frequently for her, the friends I made through her, and for giving me her as a support system because living alone as a young, ill woman isn't easy.
However, about 2 months ago something happened where she falsely accused me of something and despite me apologizing sincerely and explaining myself (even though I had nothing to apologize for), she is refusing to see me or speak to me much right now. I think she is pondering if she wants to continue our friendship. Because she's like the glue that holds the rest of the friends together I don't think they want to see/speak to me either right now. What happened was complicated but I did not intend to hurt her on purpose, i talked to church pastors and they even agreed it isnt my fault and she is just being immature.
This sudden conflict with her also happened after her and I had a heart to heart talk about being thankful for eachother (because we were talking about our past/current hurts and issues with certain other people in our lives, and we expressed that we were thankful we had eachother). After I saw her that night I thanked God for blessing me with a friend like her before I went to bed. Then the next day all hell broke lose.
All this to say, Im devasted. God knew that the people/support system I had before last year was gone and I was grieving that, and also struggling with having to be on my own due to extenuating circumstances and managing an incurable illness and working to survie on top of it all. He also knew that ive gone through loss after major loss just in the past 2 years alone. I really didn't think he would allow this to happen with my closest friend. And with this language, I am not blaming him. God gives and takes away, and he has his reasons to. I may never know those reasons but I am honest with him, i ask him why, i tell him that im weary from going through too many losses and upset that I thought my prayers for good friends were finally being answered but its another false hope, and ive had too many of those to count, but this one hurts the most. This friend was there for me when i was going through all my other major losses, and coping with those circumstances was easier because of that, but now if i lose this friend I wont be able to recover. My illness also causes my body to be way more sensitive to any stressors and emotions, and because of this ive felt so physically ill and worn down. I know God has his reasons and maybe he will restore but i havent seen proof of much restoration in my life despite praying tirelessly for it. I also never idolized her or depended unhealthily on her, she was just the first person who truly understood me and reciprocated my efforts and displayed some selflessness, and the first person I could be myself with after encountering judgemental, selfish friends my entire life.
What ive concluded so far is God is proving to me that i shouldnt get my hopes up, and that he probably wants me to be isolated and alone. Im used to not getting my hopes up, but i was hoping that maybe, this time would be different. I still believe in God and his goodness, but im tired. Its hard to want to live when things keep being taken and there is no enjoyment at all. I know as Christians we dont live for solely for enjoyment but im not and never have asked God for much. Its not wrong to want some good things in life. But i cant even get crumbs. I feel guilty for thanking God for such a wonderful friend because it blew up in my face after.
If anyone has a similar story, please share. Also I would just like to hear your experiences and what you have learned or how such events made you feel or how it affected your faith. No theology please, just sound advice if you have it, and personal, honest experiences.
