Men, would like advice on controlling lust, for a particular situation

[loveandfear]

Warning may be a bit graphic to some. As you may know, if you don't [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], and as sperm builds up (it's been over a month now). I'm finding the urge for sex, will likewise increasingly intensify. Along side this, lustful thoughts will also intensify and bombard the mind (even if you're completely avoiding all an any type of inappropriate content). I now have highly and intensely lustful thoughts for many more females. So it's a double-edge sword. If you [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], this greatly reduces the lustful thoughts, but if you don't and sperm builds up, the lustful thoughts will actually become much more intense and frequent. Any advice?

 

[L0NEW0LF]

I think this is one we all struggle with. I am one of the lucky ones, or perhaps not so lucky? I wasn't always a Christian. I became a Christian after my marriage. Before becoming a Christian, I just had sex and masturbated without a second thought. Now I still have sex as a Christian - with my wife. That said, I still fall to masturbation once in a while. The urge is so overpowering. However, my thoughts are always of intense sexual situations with my wife when I touch. Being a single man... I just can't see how you could ever totally control it. I was there once, and while I didn't care, I can tell you that I couldn't control myself if I had wanted to.

 

[briareos]

Some of that simply isn't true. Your sperm doesn't simply continue to build up, it is reabsorbed by the body when not expelled, there is no scientifically evidenced danger psychologically or physically in not expelling it.

The accumulation of that substance does not increase sexual thought, though something else may such as your body's need for sexual satisfaction if neglected.

The solution is stick to your goals, control yourself, breath, calm down, take a cold shower, get up and do something else, go do something else. Stay away from things that you are particularly weak to and don't beat yourself up if you give in, don't give up. It is generally accepted that most men do this or have. Nothing to be socially ashamed of. As you get older and mature and your body and mind matures it get's easier.

 

[Vulcan]

I keep going back and forth on this.

 

[hedrick]

As I'm sure you know, Scripture doesn't deal with masturbation directly. The only credible objection I've heard to masturbation is that it results from lust. If it helps you manage your sexual attitudes, and doesn't induce lustful thoughts, I don't think it's a big deal.

If it makes you feel guilty, you might want to try doing it only when necessary, and to consider other approaches to deal with your temptations as well, as suggested above. But there's no reason to spend too much of your attention trying to suppress it. There are other more important things for a Christian to worry about.

 

[IisJustMe]

Some of that simply isn't true. Your sperm doesn't simply continue to build up, it is reabsorbed by the body when not expelled, there is no scientifically evidenced danger psychologically or physically in not expelling it.

Sex and Your Prostate

Imagine that your prostate is a production plant whose job is to keep a steady supply of sperm in stock (nature designed this to ensure that there would always be enough available to keep the human race going). When the supply of sperm gets too low, the prostate receives a signal from the brain to increase production. And when levels get too high, the prostate is called to release sperm to avoid becoming oversaturated.
​

 

[briareos]

Yeh I've studied such things too... the information I read suggested such complications or dangers were still theoretical and not conclusive and that the body absorbs the excess.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

This is just my view but my doctors tell me I need to touch to keep my self healthy in that area. Problem is as christians we get used to "lusting" in order to get ourselves happy, then finish it off.

If you can control the lust and get happy through other methods then I'd do that. Its what I do. This is a real hot button topic since its in the "Grey area" of the bible. But most can agree lust is what makes it a sin. If you can avoid lust then problem solved. THen you can release that urge without sinning.

 

[Vulcan]

What do you think about these stories? I think my view on this changing.

christianmasturbation.homestead.com/ChristiansMasturbateAlso15.html

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I love that link Vulcan. The bible does NOT mention mastubation as a sin. It mentions lust. Which most people associate with sex and/or masturbating. But none the less masturbation and lust are two seperate things that happen despite of the fact they sometimes go hand in hand (no pun intended).

Sadly we have made it so we make our bodies react to sinful lustful things instead of training them to realize they work without that stuff.

When I use to lust while masturbating I felt conviction EVERY time. Now that I do so without lust I feel no conviction. Which is perhaps what it comes down to. Even with out lust some may feel coviction while other may not. You have to go by what you feel.

 

[IisJustMe]

Now that I do so without lust I feel no conviction.

How does that work? Without graphics, please?

 

[Elioenai26]

Some of that simply isn't true. Your sperm doesn't simply continue to build up, it is reabsorbed by the body when not expelled, there is no scientifically evidenced danger psychologically or physically in not expelling it.

The accumulation of that substance does not increase sexual thought, though something else may such as your body's need for sexual satisfaction if neglected.

The solution is stick to your goals, control yourself, breath, calm down, take a cold shower, get up and do something else, go do something else. Stay away from things that you are particularly weak to and don't beat yourself up if you give in, don't give up. It is generally accepted that most men do this or have. Nothing to be socially ashamed of. As you get older and mature and your body and mind matures it get's easier.

I shall have to agree with you here.

It is very often and easily overlooked that if too much sperm is produced, our body knows when and what to do with it. Nocturnal emissions and reabsorbtion are two ways.

In this area, our human nature is always willing to make excuses or allowances for doing that which is at best, questionable.

The doing of the will of God and the continual act of resignation by intention and the moment by moment surrender of our lives is the only means by which victory shall be obtained.

If by the Spirit, we put to death the deeds of the flesh, we shall live!

 

[powerpoint]

So it's a double-edge sword. If you [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], this greatly reduces the lustful thoughts, but if you don't and sperm builds up, the lustful thoughts will actually become much more intense and frequent. Any advice?

Go for a run or something. Seriously, I know loads of guys through my accountability groups and network that struggle with this and running helps. As does some sort of physical activity (no, not that one ). I got myself a big internet blocker and from xxxchurch, some software that e-mails people if I were to look at stuff.

What I would say to you is not to believe the lies of Satan that this sin is any worse than any other sin you are committing. Thats not to lessen the importance of not giving into lust (we all do, myself included), but to say to you that men often feel particularly grieved in this area but yet are happy to ignore sin elsewhere. The truth is we all sin every day, and to overly focus on one, even if it is a problem area, is to often neglect other areas.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

How does that work? Without graphics, please?

Well I just happen to make a slide show, click h....just kidding LOL. ^.^

Seriously though stimulation whether your a man or woman works. Yes lusting make a man get "happy" easier. But without lust and just using stimulation you can get excited and still do what you need to without thinking about anything wrong.

Because once your uh... working your magic, it will still reach that peak and you will still have the same sensaition. Our gentials are things that work reagrless of what we are doing in terms of sexual or not.

I point out the fact that a woman can use a certain "item" to achieve that feeling to. She doens't even need to lust. Your body will naturally reach that stage without lust. Although for a woman its easier of course.

By default I think we choose to lust because it adds to the intensity of the feeling. I've found without lusting though the feeling is still there. I more so only MB because the doctor told me so. I don't really care to much about if I feel the feeling or not. I want to keep that part down there healthy so when I marry soon I can enjoy the gifts of marraige!

 

[IisJustMe]

Well I just happen to make a slide show, click h....just kidding LOL. ^.^

Seriously though stimulation whether your a man or woman works. Yes lusting make a man get "happy" easier. But without lust and just using stimulation you can get excited and still do what you need to without thinking about anything wrong.

It's not possible. Oh, perhaps, after some very lengthy ... well, whatever. Believe it or not, this question has been asked on Yahoo. The general consensus was, "nope, not possible." I agree.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Warning may be a bit graphic to some. As you may know, if you don't [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], and as sperm builds up (it's been over a month now). I'm finding the urge for sex, will likewise increasingly intensify. Along side this, lustful thoughts will also intensify and bombard the mind (even if you're completely avoiding all an any type of inappropriate content). I now have highly and intensely lustful thoughts for many more females. So it's a double-edge sword. If you [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], this greatly reduces the lustful thoughts, but if you don't and sperm builds up, the lustful thoughts will actually become much more intense and frequent. Any advice?

I admire your honesty here.

For the Christian Single male, this is got to be THE biggest struggle. Im single and love the Lord, so heres my advice which helps me :

1. Stay clear away from graphic sexual pictures whether on TV, movies, DVD's, Billboards, etc...as much as you are able to.

2. When you see a female in public that perks your testosterone, immediately pray for her and ask God to become very real in her life , ask God to bless her day, and ask God to protect her . I find this difuses the lure of going deeper into lust with a woman you find real appealing.

3. When you see a female from a distance coming your way and you feel yourself getting 'worked up' ... turn your head from her and concentrate on something else. If you have to look in her general direction, then work at not going below the neck . It takes practice but its doable.

4. Make sure you get plenty of physical excersise because it really reduces the stress and sexual tension alot.

5. If you truly feel you are intended to be married but havent found the right one yet, ask God continually for him to make this happen . If you feel you are being called to Singleness, then ask God to diminish your sex drive . He has with me and im called to Christian Singleness.

6. It gets easier with time . Keep that in mind, that, your sexual urges will become easier to cope with.

7. As for masturbation, ive read alot on this and ive attended sermons which are pro and con on this issue. Scripture is silent on this, but, scripture can and does give some guidelines in a very general sense when it comes to our sexuality . Pray about it and see how the Lord directs you in conjuction with reading everything about sex in the Bible. Talk it over with your Pastor in private .

8. Remember, you are NOT alone in this struggle my Brother.

 

[Vulcan]

I admire your honesty here.

For the Christian Single male, this is got to be THE biggest struggle. Im single and love the Lord, so heres my advice which helps me :

7. As for masturbation, ive read alot on this and ive attended sermons which are pro and con on this issue. Scripture is silent on this, but, scripture can and does give some guidelines in a very general sense when it comes to our sexuality . Pray about it and see how the Lord directs you in conjuction with reading everything about sex in the Bible. Talk it over with your Pastor in private .

8. Remember, you are NOT alone in this struggle my Brother.

Thanks for ur input

 

[L0NEW0LF]

Maturbation and sexual thoughts go hand in hand. It would be impossible for me to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] without thinking about sexual situations or even stay erect. This is true for every man I know. You simply can't "do it" without your imagination helping you. Thank God for my wife!

 

[Vulcan]

Maturbation and sexual thoughts go hand in hand. It would be impossible for me to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] without thinking about sexual situations or even stay erect. This is true for every man I know. You simply can't "do it" without your imagination helping you. Thank God for my wife!

Jealous now and this does not help

 

[CounselorForChrist]

It's not possible. Oh, perhaps, after some very lengthy ... well, whatever. Believe it or not, this question has been asked on Yahoo. The general consensus was, "nope, not possible." I agree.

I agree that most cannot do it, but just because the majority can't do it doens't mean everyone can't. I mean how does one explain waking up "happy"? There is no sexual thought involved in that!

I will agree that lust helps keep you happy, so it does take more work to keep yourself happy. But if you can do it, you can still finish the whole process.