Men: Is this true?

[ninalabelle007]

I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

You see I have a problem with the advice mentioned above. Why do I have to base a relationship on lies? If I do follow the advice above, I will be with a man that is not really attracted to the real me. So again living a lie.

Can a smart woman who is well educated and articulate to get a man and be married long term?

The advice above was mentioned to me by a family member...So hearing this repeatedly...I can't help but wonder.

Y'all have no idea how discouraging it is to hear the advice above. When I was little girl I was told to study...get an education no matter what. People will respect you. Then I grew up and got an education only to be told men will flee cause I know too much

 

[leighd]

Thats absurd, If they are intimidated by your intelligence their probably to feeble minded for you to be with in the first place, and the age thing is all in people mind, if someone was to pass you by because of your age then their obviously not in the same mind frame as you and a quick indicator that things wouldn't work

 

[Starcradle]

I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

The advice you have received is terribly misguided. Although there are indeed men who are intimidated by intelligent females, this does not signify that you should conceal your God-given intellect and abilities. Likewise, there is no reason to hide your age. I assure you that the right man will appreciate you exactly as you are. Therefore, do not lose heart!

 

[RealityCheck]

No, the advice is mostly sound. That is, you will drive away the men who can't compare to you intellectually, and you'll drive away the ones who gauge a woman's worth by her age.

That is, you'll drive away the men you don't want anyway.


(And therefore, the ones that do stay are the ones worth staying with - potentially.)

 

[LoneSheep]

I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

This advice is for people looking for a casual fling, not a serious relationship.

 

[pjptexas]

No. Not at all. If you are interested in a man that is threatened by your intelligence, then he probably has some security issues.

 

[Hoankan]

Agree with the above. Not smart and artiqulate will scare me away and only if someone has around 5 PhDs would I be overwhealmed. Put them all in math and I'd cower

 

[spirituality-in-Christ]

If it drives someone away they clearly aren't right for you. This person has to be your best friend and that means that they have to be able to relax with you not be intimidated by you.

 

[spirituality-in-Christ]

I mean they become your best friend over the course of the relationship, it doesn't happen immediately.

 

[Digit]

I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

You see I have a problem with the advice mentioned above. Why do I have to base a relationship on lies? If I do follow the advice above, I will be with a man that is not really attracted to the real me. So again living a lie.

Can a smart woman who is well educated and articulate to get a man and be married long term?

The advice above was mentioned to me by a family member...So hearing this repeatedly...I can't help but wonder.

Y'all have no idea how discouraging it is to hear the advice above. When I was little girl I was told to study...get an education no matter what. People will respect you. Then I grew up and got an education only to be told men will flee cause I know too much

I think that's ridiculous myself. Be your own person, be confident who you are and do not hide yourself. The only sort of man that advice would attract will be the kind who you don't want to get involved with at all would be my speculative guess.

 

[taku60]

I dont think its the fact that a woman is educated and articulate/smart its the negitive qualities that can sometimes come with that (cocky, wants to wear the pants, condesending (espeically if he is not as educated). It may be hard for a woman like that to be the woman and let her man be the man especially when she may be a supervisor at work or in some other such position of power. Its not as big of a deal for a man because men are suppose to be men in the relationship as well so it naturally carrys over. I would guess that a certian percentage of women who are educated and in positions of authority would find it difficult to be submissive in a relationship and speaking for myself I would have to be medicated to live with a woman that was constantly jockying for control of the pants. Also a woman who is smart is going to be better able to put on a good show in the beginning and then could switch on him later on so he has to decide if he wants to invest twice as much time to find out who she really is and take the chances that she may not be who she is making herself out to be and then he wasted that time.

 

[ChristianTurtle]

I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

You see I have a problem with the advice mentioned above. Why do I have to base a relationship on lies? If I do follow the advice above, I will be with a man that is not really attracted to the real me. So again living a lie.

Can a smart woman who is well educated and articulate to get a man and be married long term?

The advice above was mentioned to me by a family member...So hearing this repeatedly...I can't help but wonder.

Y'all have no idea how discouraging it is to hear the advice above. When I was little girl I was told to study...get an education no matter what. People will respect you. Then I grew up and got an education only to be told men will flee cause I know too much

I would say you are the type someone WANTS to marry. Having an intelligent, educated woman is a great plus in a relationship. It is far better for conversation. Guys who want boneheaded woman are only looking for short term satisfaction.

 

[lovingod02]

I was told that I should be careful, of how I talk. Because if men see that I'm to articulate/smart or too educated they will flee. I was also told not to tell my real age,32,men will see me as too old and run off.

You see I have a problem with the advice mentioned above. Why do I have to base a relationship on lies? If I do follow the advice above, I will be with a man that is not really attracted to the real me. So again living a lie.

Can a smart woman who is well educated and articulate to get a man and be married long term?

The advice above was mentioned to me by a family member...So hearing this repeatedly...I can't help but wonder.

Y'all have no idea how discouraging it is to hear the advice above. When I was little girl I was told to study...get an education no matter what. People will respect you. Then I grew up and got an education only to be told men will flee cause I know too much

So, what's your name and what part of the country do you live? uh...what I mean is, no, i think a articulate/smart woman would be attractive to many men don't worry about the ones who don't find who you are attractive. you don't want them anyways.

 

[peacemaker19800]

Yeah, if they are driven away by your intelligence then they are no good for you. You deserve better.You were told "not to tell your real age"? Who is giving you this advice? This is not good advice...You are not old. 32! Thirty-two is TERRIFIC TIMES TWO!!!! You are awesome!Keep smiling..You are not old...when you get fourty you will wish you were 32. So enjoy life as it happens. You have your health, your EDUCATION, God....What else do you need? You are a smart lady and you deserve the best..Be who you are no matter what.

 

[Macx]

My wife was a few years older than you (OP) when we met, we have since had two beautiful, perfect children. My wife is smart. We are in the same line of work & I'd want her on my team any day of the week. The thing that drew me to her initially was her intellect and ability to articulate. We disagree on some issues (like politics) that you'd think would keep a relationship from even being possible, but she is so well spoken and able to talk things through, a relationship (friendship) based on communication formed the seed of our romance. The fruit that has yielded, is that we communicate instead of fighting, communicate through hard times, communicate our joys and struggles . . . it is a truly strong marriage. It would have never happened if she was weak or submissive. She is so articulate, thoughtful and provocative, everyone else in the room just disappeared. I found myself time and again feeling that I could never know this woman as deeply as I wanted to, and decided that I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to knowing her as well as I can. I have been proven right in my choice, she is brilliant and strong like the inspiration for all those goddess images in ancient cultures, she radiates love and nurturance like the ideal people long for when they say "mother" and for all that greatness, I would have walked right on by had she put on a mask to try and avoid intimidating men.

Only a weak, pathetic, loser would be all "well she is too smart to be submissive" and seek a bimbo to make up for his lacking.

OP, hang in there and let your qualities shine, be who you are and the right guy will come (you might have to debate with him a time or two before he realizes it though).

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I've met few men in my life who were "intimidated" by a woman's intelligence. Moreso they were intimidated by someone who was opinionated, or always thought she was right and refused to adopt any humility.

 

[cmascio]

That couldn't be further from the truth. I actually prefer women who are intelligent. I live in Las Vegas and that is hard to find. Be proud of who you are!

 

[mochamajesty]

*blind post*

I know that in my case, I have to tendency to come across as a know-it-all, and I have to watch myself lest I put people (both men and women) off. I would not date someone if I had to pretend to be something I am not.

 

[Tempura]

Can't speak for other men, just for myself. I never liked dishonesty, mindgames or any kind of < staff edit > < staff edit >. If the woman is smart, so be it. If she's 32, so be it. If she < staff edit > when she runs, so be it. Just be yourself. Don't listen to stupid advices.

 

[anewday]

Hi! I've wondered this myself. I'm a 30-year-old educated single woman. I've actually had a few male friends tell me they found me intimidating (although they never said why ). On the flip side, I have dated men who were younger than me and less educated than me. If a man thinks age matters and doesn't like the fact that you are educated, he's not worth it! Oh, and you are not old . Just love who you are! The man you are waiting for (and I for that matter) will love your mind and age .