Growing up Sauce® always knew he wasn't quite like the other sauces. It always took him a little longer to count out popsicle change at the neighbourhood corner store and he didn't always get the meaning behind the jokes his friends told. Things were fine though as he grew up, his friends didn't really care and just loved being with him. But then one crisp fall day his Sauces® mom told him that things were about to change... he was going to go to SCHOOL today like the other bigger kids.
So, with great trepadation and more then a little axiety as is the case with all opening kindergarten days, Sauce® found his desk and began the school day. The teacher, Mr.Whooper, had a warm flame broiled embracing type smile that immediately put all the kids hearts at ease... and so the day began. First they had gym and they all went outside dodgeball and had great fun, followed by health and story time. Sauce® thought things were going to be ok here at school, but oh how things were about to change.... Mr.Whooper told the kids it was MATH time and they all got out their workbooks and began their exercises. But Sauce® immediately felt confused and lost... the numbers just swam around... not making any sense or reason. One by one the teacher would ask the kids for their answer, and every kid got their right and was given a gold star... well at least till it was Sauces® turn. He gave the wrong answer, so the teacher said "Try again Sauce®, whats 2 + 3 = ?" but it was no use... he got it wrong again, over and over. All the other kids soon began to laugh and point fingers. He was the only kid who didn't get a gold star that day.
As the weeks went by Mr.Whooper grew more and more concerned as Sauce® made little or no progress in his mathematics... and both his and Sauces® frustration continued to grow... and the other kids noticed to. They no longer involved him in their recess games... or talked with him in the general school room chit'chat. Sauce® quickly fell behind in almost all areas of his schooling. Mr.Wooper one day sent a letter home with Sauce® and asked to speak with his mother the following evening. As Sauce® and his mom sat before Mr.Whooper, he heard words like "propylene glycol alginate", "sodium benzoate" and "xanthan gum" being tossed around... apparently he wasn't quite like the other kids afterall... he was "special." Mr.Whooper had told his mom that he thought it was best for him to go to a different school, a special school where kids would better understand Sauce® and not make fun of him.
So, the following Monday morning a special yellow bus showed up at Sauces® doorstep to take him to his new school. Sauce® thought it was kinda neat to ride such a short yellow bus... and all the kids were very friendly. When classes began at the new school... the teacher, Mr.McDonald,
introduced himself. He was a large man... and wore funny yellow clothes and had big red lips and hair. He had a very special look about him. As the day began Sauce® felt totally at ease in his new school... like he belonged here. At sharing time each of the kids introduced themselves. A slight, pale looking girl named Lettuce introduced herself... followed by an asian boy named Cheese. Next came another girl who said she would like to be called Pickles. Then another boy who smelled a little strange... Dehy^Onions. A large greek boy name Sesame-Seed-Bun came next. And finally we had the two paddie twins... affectionately name Lips and Tails.
With everyone introduced and getting along together famously... Mr.McDonald thought a song was in order to seal the day and their new friendships together in history...

"Two all beef patties, special sauce®, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!!!"
Special Sauce®:
Soybean oil, pickles, distilled vinegar, water, egg yolks, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, onion powder, corn syrup, spice and spice extractives, salt, xanthan gum, mustard flour, propylene glycol alginate, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate as preservatives, mustard bran, garlic powder, hydrolyzed (corn gluten, wheat, and soy) proteins, caramel color, extractives of paprika, turmeric, calcium disodium EDTA to protect flavor.
fallen^sparrow
