The following was posted on the McDonnell Douglas website by one of their employees. needless to say, MD were not amused and had it taken down.....
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required , but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. Personal details:
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name .
Initial .
Last Name ..
Password (max 8 char)
Code Word: ..
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude .
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-17A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): .../ /
4. Serial Number: .
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as a gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard a loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check three factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (excluding Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
[_] Colour TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer satellite
[_] CD player
[_] Air-to-Air missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Microwave cooker
[_] Home computer
[_] Nuclear weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation?
(Tick all that apply)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democracy
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit Card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's cheque
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Unemployed
[_] Defence Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy, participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilisation / overthrow
We hope you have enjoyed you McDonnell Douglas product and will buy from us again.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required , but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. Personal details:
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name .
Initial .
Last Name ..
Password (max 8 char)
Code Word: ..
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude .
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-17A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): .../ /
4. Serial Number: .
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as a gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard a loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check three factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (excluding Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
[_] Colour TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer satellite
[_] CD player
[_] Air-to-Air missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Microwave cooker
[_] Home computer
[_] Nuclear weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation?
(Tick all that apply)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democracy
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit Card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's cheque
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Unemployed
[_] Defence Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy, participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilisation / overthrow
We hope you have enjoyed you McDonnell Douglas product and will buy from us again.
