I suffer from major anxiety and am schizoaffective. I cannot stop worrying when I'm in an episode like this even though God has me by the hand and most oftentimes m es things work out.
What does it mean for "God to have you by the hand"? In one sense, I guess this is the state-of-affairs for all of God's children: He's Heavenly Father to all born-again believers, adopting them into His family as joint-heirs with Christ. (
Romans 8:15-17) But God wants a love-relationship with us where we freely choose to move with God in humility, submission and faith, loving Him because He first loved us (
1 John 4:16-19). There are many of God's children, though, who want to interact with their Heavenly Father in an autonomous or semi-autonomous way. But to the degree any child of God steps out from under God's control, to that same degree they are a
rebel toward Him and prevented from experiencing the joy, peace and transforming power that is found in Him.
God does not fill up rebels with Himself. He will not encourage or sustain a position of rebellion in His children. God, in fact,
resists those who are not constantly yielded to Him, those who, in pride and self-will, keep themselves out from under His will and way, dabbling in the things of the world, investing in useless, transient things, hyper-absorbed with their own inner landscape and satisfying their own perceived needs and wants.
James 4:6-7, 10
6 ..."GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
7 Submit therefore to God....
10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
1 Peter 5:5-6
5 ...all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
Those of His children who are in this condition, God opposes and from them withdraws His mediating influence, allowing the consequences of their selfish, sinful rebellion to bear full fruit in their lives. Success eludes them; peace cannot be found, except in the dulling, counterfeit and temporary "relief" of drugs; joy drowns in an ever-rising tide of fear, obsession and depression; the flesh gains power, helped by the world and the devil, pressing the rebel into the pig-pen of sin where they wallow unhappily in spiritual privation.
2 Peter 2:20-22
20 For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first.
21 For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them.
22 It has happened to them according to the true proverb, "A DOG RETURNS TO ITS OWN VOMIT," and, "A sow, after washing, returns to wallowing in the mire."
This is what God's discipline of His rebel children looks like (
Hebrews 12:5-11). His goal, however, is not to harm, but to remediate. He is not looking to punish but to motivate His willful child to humility, submission, dependence and obedience so that His rebel child might fully enjoy the awesome wonder that He is.
So, God will "take us by the hand," but only under the dynamic of Superior to inferior, as bond-servant to Master, as Creator to submitted creature. And we always know when He has because fear, compulsion, depression, and sinful habits lose their grip on us, over time dissolving away under the Holy Spirit's transformative work in those submitted to His will and way. In the place of this bitter fruit of Self, the Fruit of the Spirit takes shape, the consequence of a yielded life filled with the Spirit, that does not merely
possess spiritual life in him, but
walks with him as a "living sacrifice."
Galatians 5:19-25
19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,
21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
Romans 12:1
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
It is SO hard for me to trust God and have peace even though I know deep down in my heart that it's true. Does this make any sense? Does it make sense that I feel this way? Being alive and a Christian is just so hard.
Distrusting God leads to a life starved of the experience of Him. And a life starved of such experience leads inevitably to doubt and
more distrust of Him, which leads to a life even more devoid of a genuine, personal experience of God, which deepens doubt and distrust of Him, and so on, 'round and 'round in an endless, slowly-deepening cycle.
The way to fracture this cycle is to CHOOSE to believe God, His truth and promises, no matter what you feel or experience, and to SUBMIT and keep on submitting, day-in, day-out, at every crossroads of choice between your way and His, to God and then, by faith, wait on Him, His Spirit, to transform you, conforming you to Christ.
Receive, Remain, Reflect.
If the Christian life is hard, it is only because you are trying by human means to accomplish a divine end. When God bends His universe-creating power to altering your life, it doesn't exhaust or strain you. You are the receiver of His power, the object of His work, not the one
who changes himself for God.
I mean I just got out of the h e hospital after worrying about everything in existence. Everything worked out and now im worried about going to the bathroom (I need a walker to get around and it's. A lot of effort) to sleeping, to my wife leaving, to just about everything. It's driving me insane is there ANYTHING I can do? I take ativan and it helps sometimes but it's like my mind is going a mile a minute.
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Christ is our Peace; he is the Prince of Peace, in fact; not a
feeling of calm settledness but
a Person. But he is only such to those who are his submitted servants, never to rebels, to those living under Self-rule.
Isaiah 26:3-4
3 You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.
4 Trust in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
Those who are in perfect peace are anchored, not in a feeling, but
in God Himself, trusting in His excellency, His divine perfection, His faithfulness, love, patience, power and mercy. We can rest in Him, our Heavenly Father, who is totally trustworthy, in whom there is never any shadow of turning, no caprice, no cruelty or pettiness. We are in His hand and nothing can ever pluck us out of it; we are safe and secure and invited to a holy, joyful, restful life in Him.
Matthew 11:28-30
28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.
30 "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
The rebel refuses Christ's "yoke," his Lordship, and so long as this is so, the rest that He is cannot be found. But to those who remain yielded to him as their Master and King, full, eternal rest is their reward.
