- Sep 26, 2018
- 277
- 131
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- Country
- Belgium
- Faith
- Catholic
- Marital Status
- Single
Maybe it's good if I tell a bit more about myself and about my experience with God.
I have always believed in God. I always knew that He existed. I have never really come to that kind of belief. I have come to the belief that Christ is God. I did believe in Christ and accepted Him because I understood that we did need a redeemer indeed. But looking at Him as Being God that has taken a long time. As a child I was an altar boy. I did this to serve God. When my father died when I was 13, and my mother said, "There is no God," I answered her, "Do you have so little faith?" As you can see, I was a bit of a special on that level. When my father laid dead in the garden, I threatened God that if He did not let my father rise again, where I was convinced that He could do that, then I would be bad for the rest of my life. I got what I threatened. Against my will. I have done bad things and still do them. I have cursed myself. After all, one does not threaten God but one begs. I got what I threatened and that only hurt me and still hurts me. Because I do not want to be bad at all. A number of years passed. I then became addicted to marijuana. Then, when I had something researched in the hospital, they put me in a madhouse. It went bad at home and my mother dropped it so I had to go to a psychiatrist. I finally thought I had found someone who had studied and therefore had insight into spiritual matters. What was I wrong. I told that person that with faith everything was possible and discussed with her the experiments that I had carried out in that area. It was then decided, because I believed that I did not live in reality and had a psychosis. I was then collected and they kept me in a madhouse for 40 days. After those 40 days they had to let me go because they had no proof that I was crazy. They had done tests, and they were not referring to a psychosis or such other mental illness. After 40 days I had to go to the justice of the peace and all they could say was: we did not find anything, but we want to keep him for a little longer to investigate. The justice of the peace then decided that I could go home. I ended up in a depression after all this. But I never left God. A few years later I got the urge to proclaim my faith. I did this very bad in the beginning, I always got angry when others did not agree and I often insulted other people. I was not doing well. What I said was perhaps not bad, but the way I brought it was bad through and through. Nobody did well, not one. I was also against the Church, which I had served as a child. The Catholic Church. But suddenly God came. I have a video of that. I then made many videos about what I thought in which I always became very angry. Suddenly there was a white light in the last of those videos. And from that white light came an arm that touched me on the forehead. I have changed very hard since then. I have also once experienced the love of God. It was one evening and suddenly I got such a great feeling of love, which I cannot describe in any way, only then, that I fell on the knees on the floor, bent my back and pressed my head against the ground, pleading for me so to feel forever. I knew that if I went to sleep I would wake up the next day without that feeling. And that was true. But God told me that I would always feel that way in His Kingdom. That feeling, I would like to describe it, but I really cannot. I had a similar feeling a few months later, but less intensely. I had that for a month, but then I had sinned against something that God had asked me not to do anymore. The feeling is then gone and never returned. It was a blissful feeling. I will give an example. I hate to weed, but when I had that feeling I did it with pleasure. In fact, while I was weeding the weeds, the tears of happiness were literally in my eyes. If only I had not sinned. Then I would still have felt that way. I have stopped marijuana for a long time, that was the sin I had done again. But I believe that I may already be glad now with grace, as God said to Paul: My grace is enough for you. I am already happy with that, but still look with a painful loss to the time that I felt so happy. When I had that feeling of love that lasted one evening, then I was close to perfection. There was nothing bad in me anymore. God is great, because God can take all evil out of you in a second if He wants to. That is why I believe that everyone can be saved, no matter how bad this person is, and can be made perfect by God. Now I have been proclaiming the word on Facebook for a few years now and a few months later I only focus on sharing what has been written. I do this on facebook and on other online forums where I can. I used to write only what I thought, now I only share what is written. God has asked me, at least I believe so, to bring the good news and so I do that. He also asked me to stop marijuana, and so I do that too. It is not always easy, and sometimes when I go out I dare to fall. But I know that God forgives me as long as I do not start using daily again. Because that will defile your thoughts and my thoughts must be clear. That is what God wants. Nevertheless, a few months later, I started to bundle my thoughts back and share them. I have stopped marijuana for a long time, 2 years, and maybe the time has come to share what I think
I have always believed in God. I always knew that He existed. I have never really come to that kind of belief. I have come to the belief that Christ is God. I did believe in Christ and accepted Him because I understood that we did need a redeemer indeed. But looking at Him as Being God that has taken a long time. As a child I was an altar boy. I did this to serve God. When my father died when I was 13, and my mother said, "There is no God," I answered her, "Do you have so little faith?" As you can see, I was a bit of a special on that level. When my father laid dead in the garden, I threatened God that if He did not let my father rise again, where I was convinced that He could do that, then I would be bad for the rest of my life. I got what I threatened. Against my will. I have done bad things and still do them. I have cursed myself. After all, one does not threaten God but one begs. I got what I threatened and that only hurt me and still hurts me. Because I do not want to be bad at all. A number of years passed. I then became addicted to marijuana. Then, when I had something researched in the hospital, they put me in a madhouse. It went bad at home and my mother dropped it so I had to go to a psychiatrist. I finally thought I had found someone who had studied and therefore had insight into spiritual matters. What was I wrong. I told that person that with faith everything was possible and discussed with her the experiments that I had carried out in that area. It was then decided, because I believed that I did not live in reality and had a psychosis. I was then collected and they kept me in a madhouse for 40 days. After those 40 days they had to let me go because they had no proof that I was crazy. They had done tests, and they were not referring to a psychosis or such other mental illness. After 40 days I had to go to the justice of the peace and all they could say was: we did not find anything, but we want to keep him for a little longer to investigate. The justice of the peace then decided that I could go home. I ended up in a depression after all this. But I never left God. A few years later I got the urge to proclaim my faith. I did this very bad in the beginning, I always got angry when others did not agree and I often insulted other people. I was not doing well. What I said was perhaps not bad, but the way I brought it was bad through and through. Nobody did well, not one. I was also against the Church, which I had served as a child. The Catholic Church. But suddenly God came. I have a video of that. I then made many videos about what I thought in which I always became very angry. Suddenly there was a white light in the last of those videos. And from that white light came an arm that touched me on the forehead. I have changed very hard since then. I have also once experienced the love of God. It was one evening and suddenly I got such a great feeling of love, which I cannot describe in any way, only then, that I fell on the knees on the floor, bent my back and pressed my head against the ground, pleading for me so to feel forever. I knew that if I went to sleep I would wake up the next day without that feeling. And that was true. But God told me that I would always feel that way in His Kingdom. That feeling, I would like to describe it, but I really cannot. I had a similar feeling a few months later, but less intensely. I had that for a month, but then I had sinned against something that God had asked me not to do anymore. The feeling is then gone and never returned. It was a blissful feeling. I will give an example. I hate to weed, but when I had that feeling I did it with pleasure. In fact, while I was weeding the weeds, the tears of happiness were literally in my eyes. If only I had not sinned. Then I would still have felt that way. I have stopped marijuana for a long time, that was the sin I had done again. But I believe that I may already be glad now with grace, as God said to Paul: My grace is enough for you. I am already happy with that, but still look with a painful loss to the time that I felt so happy. When I had that feeling of love that lasted one evening, then I was close to perfection. There was nothing bad in me anymore. God is great, because God can take all evil out of you in a second if He wants to. That is why I believe that everyone can be saved, no matter how bad this person is, and can be made perfect by God. Now I have been proclaiming the word on Facebook for a few years now and a few months later I only focus on sharing what has been written. I do this on facebook and on other online forums where I can. I used to write only what I thought, now I only share what is written. God has asked me, at least I believe so, to bring the good news and so I do that. He also asked me to stop marijuana, and so I do that too. It is not always easy, and sometimes when I go out I dare to fall. But I know that God forgives me as long as I do not start using daily again. Because that will defile your thoughts and my thoughts must be clear. That is what God wants. Nevertheless, a few months later, I started to bundle my thoughts back and share them. I have stopped marijuana for a long time, 2 years, and maybe the time has come to share what I think
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