mature single + ? = ( )

[NorwayUnn]

Very interesting to read your posts. I can say that I am glad there are people in my church that make me feel welcome, even if I am divorced. Some I am uncertain of and don't really know their opinion about divorce and divorcees.

 

[dayhiker]

Norway, good to hear a testimony from someone who as experienced the other side, the better side.

 

[Bridgit]

Are divorced people more likely to connect to other divorced people than to single never married people?

Ok, I shall attempt to answer this question, but please realize it is only my opinion.

I am a single, divorced mom and feel more attracted to divorced men than single men. I feel that if I were to remarry, I'd like to tie the knot with a divorced man who also have children. To me, it's a question of wanting someone who has had the experience of being a husband and a father. I would feel connected to him, because we somewhat share the same experience.

I have been radically changed when I learned to live with another person and when I learned to be a parent. Both of these situations have required me to make sacrifices I never had to make when I was single. Both of these have taught me to love in unique ways. Both of these have molded and reshaped me and I feel that I would not be able to "fit" with someone who has not been reshaped by these same and unique situations. By being a wife and a mom I have been stretched, pulled, pushed, pruned, bruised and loved in very unique ways and, if I ever get to have the opportunity to get married again, I would want it to be with someone who has gone through the same storms, and struggles, and incredible and magical moments as I have. I would need to have that sense of complicity with him.

I'm not sure if this makes sense.

However, I definitely don't think that single men, men who have never married, are weird or from another planet. They are normal people, like every body else.

 

[dayhiker]

Some good points there Bridgit. I have to agree with them.

 

[mutinywxgirl]

I've not read the whole thread yet, but here's another never married. Recently, I realized that when I was younger, if any man discussed having kids, I would immediately end it with him, because that is not me....no desire to have them. I don't mind anyone with kids; just don't want to have them myself. So, that's limited me in my dating.

I know plenty of men, over 50, who are never married. These are great and godly men. I enjoy their company.

Finally now, at 50, I know I want to get married, but, I have some things to do first.

There is nothing wrong with any of us.

 

[dayhiker]

Get, I don't think there are plenty of men in my area who have never married and are Christians.

 

[mjmcmillan]

Get, I don't think there are plenty of men in my area who have never married and are Christians.

I imagine location has a lot to do with that. Retirees tend to settle in places like Florida and Arizona, so there might be more unmarried 50+ men in such places simply because there's more older folk period there. People who are in their retirement years have a tendency to leave places like Massachusetts and Northern Illinois to get away from our cold, snowy winters, so there's not so many older folk up thisaway to begin with.

If I had the money to retire, and am in reasonably good health--- Hmmmm, warm, sunny beaches near Tampa, or cold, bitter North winds and snow in Chicago----- it gets to be a no-brainer. I have reasonably good health but don't have the loot required for retirement, so I reckon I'm stuck for a few more years. But, if I did possess the wampum, Tampa has something to recommend for itself.

 

[mutinywxgirl]

Come on down to Tampa!!! I'm across the bay in Pinellas County. It's awesome here - just have to always be on the look out for hurricanes. But, as a friend of mine said, I do live in paradise much of the year.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

Ok, I shall attempt to answer this question, but please realize it is only my opinion.

I am a single, divorced mom and feel more attracted to divorced men than single men. I feel that if I were to remarry, I'd like to tie the knot with a divorced man who also have children. To me, it's a question of wanting someone who has had the experience of being a husband and a father. I would feel connected to him, because we somewhat share the same experience.

I have been radically changed when I learned to live with another person and when I learned to be a parent. Both of these situations have required me to make sacrifices I never had to make when I was single. Both of these have taught me to love in unique ways. Both of these have molded and reshaped me and I feel that I would not be able to "fit" with someone who has not been reshaped by these same and unique situations. By being a wife and a mom I have been stretched, pulled, pushed, pruned, bruised and loved in very unique ways and, if I ever get to have the opportunity to get married again, I would want it to be with someone who has gone through the same storms, and struggles, and incredible and magical moments as I have. I would need to have that sense of complicity with him.

I'm not sure if this makes sense.

However, I definitely don't think that single men, men who have never married, are weird or from another planet. They are normal people, like every body else.

Yes youve made sense and thanks for sharing. What I see irl that divorced people are more likely to hook up with other divorced people. The other problem is that single people with no kids are very unlikely to hook up with a person who has kids.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I don't think single people with no kids are less likely to hook up with someone that has kids. My husband had 3 kids before we got together and I had none. And now that I am "older" I think it would be hard to find someone that didn't have kids (not sure I would want that or care if they did or didn't). JMO though, and what I know from personal experience and friends that I have.

 

[GodsHandiwork]

I don't think single people with no kids are less likely to hook up with someone that has kids. My husband had 3 kids before we got together and I had none. And now that I am "older" I think it would be hard to find someone that didn't have kids (not sure I would want that or care if they did or didn't). JMO though, and what I know from personal experience and friends that I have.

I agree, Michelle. I think we need to look at people for who they are, not what they are (ie, labels...divorced, never married, parent, no children, etc.). It is self limiting. Open the heart to the possibilities. God defines His relationship with us by who He is and who we are...not what we have done or are doing.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Amen!

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

I agree, Michelle. I think we need to look at people for who they are, not what they are (ie, labels...divorced, never married, parent, no children, etc.). It is self limiting. Open the heart to the possibilities. God defines His relationship with us by who He is and who we are...not what we have done or are doing.

I agree, in an perfect world but we dont live in a perfect world

 

[GodsHandiwork]

I agree, in an perfect world but we dont live in a perfect world

Yeah...you're right, Hope...but do we have to add to the imperfections?

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

 

[GodsHandiwork]

Yes...I know...taking care of the tusks or removing that small piece of fluff from your ear.

(“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” —Pooh)

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

Yes...I know...taking care of the tusks or removing that small piece of fluff from your ear.

(“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” —Pooh)

maybe God is removing a small piece of fluff from my ear and maybe He's gonna remove a plank from your eye

 

[dayhiker]

lol ...

 

[GodsHandiwork]

maybe God is removing a small piece of fluff from my ear and maybe He's gonna remove a plank from your eye

lol...I sure hope so, Hope...probably more than one.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I agree, in an perfect world but we dont live in a perfect world

Well ya gotta start somewhere, might as well be here.