Catholicism is so overwhelming compared to the simple protestantism I've been exposed to. I like the stripped downness of it just not the division with so many denominations. I like that catholics are united but at the same time it's hard to see what is God intended and what is human added. I'm used to it just being God, the Bible and community, to swap that simplicity for complicated is hard. With protestantism although not assured of salvation I felt like God looks on my spirit more than my flesh.
I feel you. From the outside, it can seem as though the rules, the rituals, the art, the crucifixes, the clothing, and the cathedrals is the substance of what the Church has to offer. We bear most of the responsibility for that. We don't often communicate effectively about how these things relate to our personal relationships with Jesus, and about the substance of what is behind the external or visual aspects of the Church. It seems that Pope Francis has come a way in trying to get members of the Church to improve in these areas, and hopefully that is something that we can continue to improve on.
At least to me, I would say that the same "simple" (for lack of a better word) faith exists in Catholicism. Ultimately this whole thing is about furthering our relationship with Jesus, and trying to live out our lives in a way that furthers that relationship. We all have our different inclinations, and I think people tend to live it out in different ways. Some folks are drawn more deeply into the intellectual or theological aspects of the faith (generally speaking, I think these types of folks (like myself) are found much more frequently on the internet). Some folks know very little of that stuff but have a much deeper prayer life. Some other folks are drawn more deeply to performing charitable acts of mercy. People also live out their faith in a variety of different cultural contexts. I think you see this within most Christian communities of faith.
If you wanted to look at something with a bit more of a "spiritual" feel to it than "intellectual", I would suggest "Interior Freedom" and "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Jacques Philippe, and "Life and Holiness" by Thomas Merton. They are all pretty short and easy reads, but profound from a spiritual standpoint.
With catholcism it feeks like He only sees my flesh and though I believe in Christ I will still have to be punished for a time if not forever so I'm confused about Him having paid once and in full if I have to keep killing Him in the Eucharist and even then still face punishment.
I don't know if you see us this way, but I have seen among some folks a perception that we are just kind of walking around all day shaking in our boots for fear of sin, or that we don't have confidence or peace about our salvation. I have not found those perceptions to be true in general, although some people go through a phase of what we call "scrupulosity" as they develop in their faith. I think that in general we are pretty at peace. Like everybody else we all know that we do not deserve Heaven, that we are not perfect, that Jesus died for us, and that God is a merciful and loving Father. We don't presume that we will go to Heaven, and we put our faith in Jesus and believe that He will save us if we follow Him.
On the other hand, we believe that the warnings in Scripture about falling into sin are real, and that they should be taken seriously.
As for killing Jesus again in the Mass, that is not what happens. The theology of the Mass is pretty deep and it would take a bit of dedicated study to grasp it, but I can give you a few basic pointers that can help to understand the theology behind it.
1) The high-priest at Mass is Jesus. We do not sacrifice Jesus at the Mass, rather it is Jesus, acting though priest presiding at Mass, who offers Himself to the Father, on our behalf.
2) The Sacrifice of the Mass is not a bloody sacrifice. Jesus does not die again at Mass. The Mass is an unbloody sacrifice (just as a sacrifice of praise is an unbloody sacrifice).
3) The Sacrifice of the Mass is a sacramental re-presentation of the sacrifice on the cross, by which the saving power of the the sacrifice on the cross is made present today, and applied to the sins that we commit daily.
Perhaps an analogy (although imperfect) might go something along the lines of this:
Let's say that Jane and John are married. Today John insults Jane, causing Jane to get extremely mad at John. As a means of trying to get Jane to get less angry at him and to forgive him, John might say something along the lines of "Remember that time when we were dating, and I quit my job and moved half way across the country just to be with you?" Here, John does not quit his job again or move again, but he presents the memory of it to Jane in order that she might be reminded of it and forgive him today.
The Sacrifice of the Mass is somewhat equivalent to John saying "Remember that time when we were dating, and I quit my job and moved half way across the country just to be with you?" That is, for the ongoing sins that we continue to commit today, Jesus continually reminds the Father of the one-time Sacrifice that he made on the cross, to appease the anger that the Father might otherwise have against our ongoing sins that we commit daily. Although we believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, the Mass is also symbolic in the sense that the the "wine" symbolizes his blood, the "bread" symbolizes his body, and the separation of the wine and the bread on the altar symbolizes his death on the cross. His death is re-presented during Mass in this sacramental sense, and is properly considered a "memorial sacrifice", rather than Jesus actually being killed again during Mass.