**Married Catholics Cafe

[benedictaoo]

I have been married 23 years July 19th, I am devoutely catholic, but my husband will not go to church anymore (for the past 6 years).
I think it is really starting to affect our marriage. I may need some advice on how to cope, and how to bring him back to the church.

don't try... let him work out his issues... does he get mad that you practice?

 

[isabella1]

One of my hubby's favorite things is coming home to Middle Eastern night........put the pillows on the floor with rugs.........then serve up tabouli, hummus, dolmas, flatbread, olives,etc.......its so much fun, and relaxing too!

That would be way kwl! I LOVE eastern food.

 

[isabella1]

Sigh, that's why I miss my Nana so much.............she was such a great example for me growing up........but it's nice to have elders and contemporaries here to turn to now!

I hear ya. Mine too. She was a solid foundation and excellent example of a devout Catholic woman. If it were not for my grandmother, I don't know where my faith would be today.

And Tad, great advice. Don't give up on praying for your Husband ladies.

 

[isabella1]

Well, I've known my wife all of my life. In fact, at five years old, she was the cute little blond girl that lived behind my house, who was my first crush. We both moved, but met again when we were on a CYC Beach trip, and I began teasing her on the bus ride home. I walked her home that night, and we thought we would start seeing each other on a regular basis. However, she wasn't allowed to date at 15, but I was allowed to walk her home, after confession on Saturdays. Well, we broke that off, and then dated when we were 16. That too didn't work well, because of her strict mother, so we broke up, only to meet again, when I came home on leave from the Marines. We immediately became lovers and she got a diamond that Easter.

So, although we've been married 36 years, we've been soul-mates all of our lives just about.

One thing my wife and myself have been blessed with, is our faith.

We left the Church the same time, and return to Jesus the same time with the same experience. We've grown together throughout our lives, and Christ is head of our marriage.

We made our marriage vows together and we made our spiritual vows as Secular Order Carmelites together. We pray together every evening, and are each other's spiritual director.

Some one explained that if you draw a triangle on a piece of paper, and place God at the top apex, wife at the bottom left and husband at the bottom right, you'll see that when you move the words wife and husband along the line up toward's God, you'll see that the distance between husband and wife comes closer together.

So it is in real life. As wife and husband move closer to God, the closer they come with each other.

Jim

Wow Jim, I think that is one of the most beautiful life experiences i think I have read from you. Very moving. Thanks for sharing, it was a blessing to read.

 

[Epiphanygirl]

Wow Jim, I think that is one of the most beautiful life experiences i think I have read from you. Very moving. Thanks for sharing, it was a blessing to read.

Ain't it though!
See, I'm seeing a side to Jim that I didn't know about.......a truly lovely and inspiring read............Thank you for sharing Jim!

 

[JimR-OCDS]

don't try... let him work out his issues... does he get mad that you practice?

Good advice.

Jim

 

[Epiphanygirl]

That would be way kwl! I LOVE eastern food.

another silly thing we do on weekends..........inspired from the show Dharma and Greg..........we go to estate or yard sales with our alter ego's...........Chuck and Liz...........great fun

 

[sweetMelody]

Do you happen to have a blessed Green Scapular in your house? If not, get one, have it blessed, and pray for your husbands conversion of heart......keep it on your bedroom, offer your prayers of intention every night.

Thank you.. I have never heard of a green scapular, but I have heard of a brown one, and I have one. I will look for a green one and have it blessed. thank you for the suggestion.

 

[sweetMelody]

don't try... let him work out his issues... does he get mad that you practice?

Thanks for that advice, and it is the way I feel also. but it has been 6 yrs.

no, he doesn't get mad, and I thank God ever day that he doesn't get mad, but I would love for him to also go to church..

He feels that there is a lot of wasted money that should not go to decorating churches but should go to the poor, and he feels that he can worship God wherver he is, and not in church. I really feel that I need the Eucharist, and I have to go to mass, because Jesus commands us to.
Our kids all go with me, and we all love going and we love the Lord. I am very active in teaching CCD, and other things. My kids serve.

 

[sweetMelody]

Epiphanygirl,
do you cook all that middle easter food.. I do.. I am middle eastern, and love all that stuff!

 

[sweetMelody]

Jim,
you are lucky to have such a wonderful life..
God bless you

 

[WarriorAngel]

I have been married 23 years July 19th, I am devoutely catholic, but my husband will not go to church anymore (for the past 6 years).
I think it is really starting to affect our marriage. I may need some advice on how to cope, and how to bring him back to the church.

Retrouvaille?
I dont know how messed up it is...but if really bad, then that word needs googled.


Unevenly yoked is hard [ i know]
But not impossible and St Augustine came to the Church on the prayers of his mother.
Pray and dont give up hope, God will give him something in the end by your prayers.

I'd love to take my hubby to church - it gets lonely going alone. But he's an agnostic, former-Pentecostal. He does accompany me on Christmas Eve or the Easter Vigil and he's fully supportive about raising our children Roman Catholic. He's told me several times that he agrees with the Catholic persepctive on things as opposed to what he was raised with - but religion and church scare him - he was "traumatized" (that is his word that he uses) with his prior faith. It scared him so much that he distrusts all forms of religion - hence, him becoming agnostic. But he was cool about us getting married in the RC and he's good about our home being a religious shrine of rosaries and pictures of Jesus and Mary, lol.

I have heard this several times now.
One guy i know from another forum, still has nightmares.

It cant be good if kids are terrified.

Look at all these fine examples of marriage we have here!!!!! My goodness!!!
It's a blessing to have you all here............and may we all be able to draw on your knowledge and wisdom here!!

Thanks Jim for your story.
And the triangle thing seems cool.

DO you mean the closer you pull it to your face, they get closer?
That's what i am guessing ..dont mind me, brain burps and all.

 

[WarriorAngel]

O - and I think St Rita prayed frequently for her drunkard abusive husband to convert [and her sons] of which all were batpised eventually, even before their deaths.

Pray!


AND ya'll want to pinch Davidnic's baby?

I want to literally plant a big fat wet smooch on them chubby cheeks. O yea, baby cheeks are like a bee to honey for me.


But unfortuantely i dont kiss babies unless i am allowed. And it was my own that got all those big juicy slobbery kisses. Yum ...something wonderful about their sweet big plump cheeks that were made like soft cushions so we want to kiss them over and over.

 

[sweetMelody]

Retrouvaille?
I dont know how messed up it is...but if really bad, then that word needs googled.

He would never ever go to anything like that. I wish I can go alone.

 

[WarriorAngel]

Thanks for that advice, and it is the way I feel also. but it has been 6 yrs.

no, he doesn't get mad, and I thank God ever day that he doesn't get mad, but I would love for him to also go to church..

He feels that there is a lot of wasted money that should not go to decorating churches but should go to the poor, and he feels that he can worship God wherver he is, and not in church. I really feel that I need the Eucharist, and I have to go to mass, because Jesus commands us to.
Our kids all go with me, and we all love going and we love the Lord. I am very active in teaching CCD, and other things. My kids serve.

Oooooooooooook.

Well, the decorations are mostly done thru contributions - private contributions.
Ever see the windows that have the names on them... in memory of 'so and so' - thats because the family when it was being built paid privately for them in memory of someone.

This is also true for the Chalice - which the priests family buys at his ordinations. [And all his religious items]

ALtars and whatnot are necessary.
Sometimes the pews [also necessary] are also private contributions.

So forth.

BUT the Catholic Church sends billions of dollars every year all around the world, and is in fact the largest charity world wide.
So your husband should be told how much they do for charity.
In fact, they dont even discriminate on who gets to eat - because the Church feeds anyone in need.

If we don't keep the Churches in repair, the laity will suffer - because where will we go to receive the Eucharist.
BTW - is oft taken for granted in America. I read so many places wait a whole month to receive because of the lack of priests.

AND since we are talking the sanctity of the Church - we won't be offering up our hearts in the house of the living God, the Church, if we don't even hold Him sacred enough to put work into making it worthily beautiful for the Most Sacred and Holy of Holies.

 

[WarriorAngel]

sweetMelody, have you heard from Michelina...?
Tell her we miss her. if you do keep in touch

 

[benedictaoo]

Thanks for that advice, and it is the way I feel also. but it has been 6 yrs.

no, he doesn't get mad, and I thank God ever day that he doesn't get mad, but I would love for him to also go to church..

He feels that there is a lot of wasted money that should not go to decorating churches but should go to the poor, and he feels that he can worship God wherver he is, and not in church. I really feel that I need the Eucharist, and I have to go to mass, because Jesus commands us to.
Our kids all go with me, and we all love going and we love the Lord. I am very active in teaching CCD, and other things. My kids serve.

let him work it out on his own between him and god... but keep doing what you do.

I'm curious to know why you feel it's wearing on your marriage?

 

[fated]

I have been married 23 years July 19th, I am devoutely catholic, but my husband will not go to church anymore (for the past 6 years).
I think it is really starting to affect our marriage. I may need some advice on how to cope, and how to bring him back to the church.

Tell him that a crazy-seeming Roman Catholic prophet guy on the internet told you to adopt a discipline of either having sex (as humanly possible) and/or praying for each other's prayer intentions (for a time 10+ minutes) every night before bed or in the morning before other work... and that you believed him.

And, if he won't comply, you comply, giving him the option every night. You do both, every night. Ask him his intentions every night and pray for him.

This is part of a search for a profound fidelity to you marital vows.

This is the year of the priest. The Pope said the St. John the Cure d'Ars was profoundly chaste... How? He spent his whole day taking Confessions. An Abbot told me that he was more of a religious than a religious because of this, apparently strongly approving and touched by the Pope's move to make him the Saint of all priests...

As a married, once you live profoundly for your spouse, you can live profoundly for God. Of course, these are not contradictory actions... in fact you must do both... If you lose your vocation after all...

 

[JoabAnias]

Beware if the Ides of March dear Brutus. Well, that's March 15th, but I'd keep your eyes open.

Jim

Do I have to? I was planing on sleeping through it.

J/K Isa.

 

[Winter]

AND ya'll want to pinch Davidnic's baby?

I want to literally plant a big fat wet smooch on them chubby cheeks. O yea, baby cheeks are like a bee to honey for me.


But unfortuantely i dont kiss babies unless i am allowed. And it was my own that got all those big juicy slobbery kisses. Yum ...something wonderful about their sweet big plump cheeks that were made like soft cushions so we want to kiss them over and over.

WA, I just love this post. For some reason, I just can't stop smiling when I read it.