Marital Rape

[Radrook]

My late aunt's husband, Alfonso, was a hard-working fellow who expected that my aunt Julia be always available whenever his needs arose.

Unfortunately, my aunt Julia was the type of woman who threw up immediate after intercourse because she found the whole thing disgusting. She would also accompany her hurling with vehement cursing of the infamous day that she had been born female.

Since he felt that he was being unjustly deprived as a husband Alfonso would secure my aunt Julia's four limbs to the bed posts and in that way prevent her from bolting beyond his reach.

 

[FireDragon76]

I can't even believe people seriously would entertain the idea that rape could ever be OK.

 

[Radrook]

I can't even believe people seriously would entertain the idea that rape could ever be OK.

I am not entertaining the idea that rape is OK. If a man doesn't feel he is getting his nuptial dues because of irrational reasons than he should try to get a divorce.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

I am not entertaining the idea that rape is OK. If a man doesn't feel he is getting his nuptial dues because of irrational reasons than he should try to get a divorce.

Come on...really? Just because "your woman" won't "put out" on YOUR whims? What a dreadfully caveman-like view on things.

 

[Paidiske]

"Authority over." If that is not slavery, what is?

There are plenty of applications of authority (exousia) which are not the kind of authority a master has over his slave (or an officer over soldiers). I think it's pretty clear that marriage is not to be that kind of relationship, given that the authority is mutual.

Actually it probably does mean you have the right to have sex if your spouse isn't in the mood.
I.e., "not in the mood" is probably not a good (enough) reason to go against the understanding of the nature of marriage in I. Cor.7.

The business of "wanted tea last Saturday" in the video does NOT explain why you should feel free at any time to be in violation of your marriage vows. You wanted sex, you wanted marriage "for ever," not just on some Saturday night.

There's a difference between never having sex (diminishing your marriage thereby) and not having sex right now. A spouse who never receives sex has a valid complaint. A spouse who needs to negotiate sex around other life obligations, their spouse's needs, and so forth, is probably in a normal, healthy marriage. It certainly doesn't justify the use of force, threat or violence.

 

[Radrook]

Come on...really? Just because "your woman" won't "put out" on YOUR whims? What a dreadfully caveman-like view on things.

I already gave you an explanation that I don't approve of that garbage.
So what is really your point?

 

[RedPonyDriver]

I already gave you an explanation that I don't approve of that garbage.
So what is really your point?

See your post #43. Divorce because someone won't put out because of "irrational reasons". Who decides if they're irrational? You? There are literally thousands of reasons why someone won't put out...for example...I was in a car accident 3 weeks ago. Being sideswiped at 45mph does some serious damage to not only the car, but the poor person in the car. There isn't any horizontal bopping going on right now...but, according to you, even though I'm in pain, I should still give it up b/c the spouse may want a piece.

 

[Dave-W]

I am not entertaining the idea that rape is OK. If a man doesn't feel he is getting his nuptial dues because of irrational reasons than he should try to get a divorce.

NO. There is ABSOLUTELY no biblical allowance for divorce for that, even if she cuts him off for years.
Besides, it is just a dumb idea. The bible says the "wife of your youth" is a blessing, and dealing with her "treacherously" brings one under a curse.

Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

So if you are being neglected under the Blessing, HOW MUCH WORSE will it be to be under the curse?

 

[Dave-W]

There are plenty of applications of authority (exousia) which are not the kind of authority a master has over his slave (or an officer over soldiers). I think it's pretty clear that marriage is not to be that kind of relationship, given that the authority is mutual.

I agree it is mutual.

But it is also voluntary. All exercise of authority in the Christian life is on the basis of voluntary submission, NOT on "top down" heavy handed authoritarianism.

 

[Radrook]

NO. There is ABSOLUTELY no biblical allowance for divorce for that, even if she cuts him off for years.
Besides, it is just a dumb idea. The bible says the "wife of your youth" is a blessing, and dealing with her "treacherously" brings one under a curse.

Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

So if you are being neglected under the Blessing, HOW MUCH WORSE will it be to be under the curse?

I never claimed that there is biblical allowance. I said that is what I crossed my mind at a the time and not rape. I responded that way because you accused me of approving of rape. Now you found something else to criticize based on your imagination I guess. LOL

BTW
I have never committed adultery. As it turned out-the reason she had been depriving me of sex is because, while claiming to be a Christian, she was getting her sex from committing adultery.

After the divorce, she was excommunicated from the church for having done so. So much for your wife of my youth and dumb idea as applied to me based on your tendency to judge a matter before even hearing it. The Bible nowhere makes allowance for that type of folly!

John 7:51
"Does our Law convict a man without first hearing from him to determine what he has done?"

Prov 18:
The one who gives an answer before he listens--that is his folly and his shame.

Now let's see what other thing you can find!

 

[Dave-W]

BTW
I have never committed adultery. As it turned out-the reason she had been deriving me of sex is because while claiming to be a Christian, she was getting her sex from committing adultery. After the divorce, she was excommunicate from the church for having done so. So much for your wife of my youth and dumb idea as applied to me based on your tendency to judge a matter before even hearing it. The Bible nowhere makes allowance for that type of folly!

In that case, there is biblical grounds for divorce due to the adultery.

But what about the case of a woman who was repeatedly raped as a child, or had such a heavy "purity culture" teaching that sex was evil that she forced herself to become "asexual," having a total aversion to anything remotely sexual?

There is no biblical remedy for that.

 

[Radrook]

In that case, there is biblical grounds for divorce due to the adultery.

But what about the case of a woman who was repeatedly raped as a child, or had such a heavy "purity culture" teaching that sex was evil that she forced herself to become "asexual," having a total aversion to anything remotely sexual?

There is no biblical remedy for that.

Then she should have never married in the first place and if she used deception to convince him into marriage then that makes the marriage void

 

[Dave-W]

Then she should have never married in the first place and if she used deception to convince him into marriage then that makes the marriage void

There is such a thing as marrying for love, with no sexual dimension at all.
That was taught heavily at the congregation I attended in college.

And if that is the case, where is the "deception?"

If you think that voids a marriage, you have little understanding of what Covenant is all about. God holds us to a covenant, even if it was made under "deception." Read Joshua 9.

 

[Paidiske]

If one partner is being deceptive, then I would say that impairs the consent of the other partner (they weren't agreeing to what they thought they were agreeing to), and free consent is one thing which makes marriage valid in the Christian tradition.

 

[bekkilyn]

Based on some of the posts I'm seeing here, it might be best to just go ahead and marry the unbeliever since he'd likely be less inclined to rape you due to some illusions (delusions?) of biblical authority.