Marital Rape

AlyM

Member
Apr 9, 2017
15
19
Florida
✟11,111.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Is rape within a marriage valid in biblical terms?

I know there is a recent societal move against it and there can also be legal repercussions, but from a strictly biblical point of view, is there anything wrong with a husband forcing himself upon his wife?

Any scriptural references one can use to determine whether it is wrong or not? Maybe it just falls into the general realm of "being a good person", so to speak.
 

geiroffenberg

Well-Known Member
Sep 4, 2014
528
238
✟38,573.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
first of all, the bible isnt a law book that defines all right and wrong, so just because there isnt a verse for or agisnt anything doesnt make it good.
If someone rapes you, whether they are married or not, it is rape. It is a violation of your will. It is not ok. What kind of god is it that would think it not only ok, but righteous?
 
Upvote 0

Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!
Supporter
Jun 18, 2014
30,521
16,866
Maryland - just north of D.C.
Visit site
✟771,800.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
from a strictly biblical point of view, is there anything wrong with a husband forcing himself upon his wife?
Not addressed in the bible.

Most of the sexual stuff in the bible was written from the viewpoint that women have the higher need for sex, and that it was a wife's RIGHT and a husband's responsibility.

What you describe is the opposite of that.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Poppyseed78
Upvote 0

Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!
Supporter
Jun 18, 2014
30,521
16,866
Maryland - just north of D.C.
Visit site
✟771,800.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Stupidest thing i ever heard
Why?

If you read the contents of first century Ketubot (Jewish marriage contracts) it is written right in the text how often the husband was required to satisfy his wife. It was based off of the husband's occupation.

Those requirements were eventually codified in the Mishnah and Talmuds. If the husband was unemployed, independently wealthy, or a shop keeper whose duties were not very strenuous, it was daily.

Note this verse:

Gen 18.12 Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?”

God's angel had just told Abe that he and Sarah were to have a child.
Note who she muses to herself about "pleasure?" Not Abraham. Herself.
What she wonders about Old Man Abe is "is he too old to give me pleasure any more?"
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

A_Thinker

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Apr 23, 2004
11,911
9,064
Midwest
✟931,284.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Not addressed in the bible.

Most of the sexual stuff in the bible was written from the viewpoint that women have the higher need for sex, and that it was a wife's RIGHT and a husband's responsibility.

What you describe is the opposite of that.

I would say that if you look at how many times men are described as having more than one wife/concubine (i.e. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, etc.), you would have to conclude something different ...
 
Upvote 0

Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!
Supporter
Jun 18, 2014
30,521
16,866
Maryland - just north of D.C.
Visit site
✟771,800.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I would say that if you look at how many times men are described as having more than one wife/concubine (i.e. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, etc.), you would have to conclude something different ...
YOu are looking at it from a modern and western view point. That was NOT how the Jews understood it.
 
Upvote 0

A_Thinker

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Apr 23, 2004
11,911
9,064
Midwest
✟931,284.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
YOu are looking at it from a modern and western view point. That was NOT how the Jews understood it.

How did the Jews understand Solomon's 1,000 legal sexual partners ... or David's 9 (or so) wives ???

Why, when referring to the sin of LUST, ... did Jesus use the example of a man looking upon a woman ???
 
Upvote 0

Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!
Supporter
Jun 18, 2014
30,521
16,866
Maryland - just north of D.C.
Visit site
✟771,800.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
How did the Jews understand Solomon's 1,000 legal sexual partners
That it took him and all his wisdom AWAY from God. And it was in direct disobedience to the Torah command for a king to not multiply wives to himself.

There is a Talmudic story (Jewish folk legend) about this very thing. Deuteronomy says that when a king is selected, that he must write out his own copy of the book of the Law.

Deuteronomy 17:18 Now it shall come about when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself a copy of this law on a scroll in the presence of the Levitical priests.

The priests are to verify that he was accurately copying the text. But when he got to the part of the king not multiplying gold, silver, horses or wives to himself. So he skipped a letter: a "yud" which has the Y sound and looks like an apostrophe. That changed the meaning from "Not multiplying wives" to "not refrain from multiplying wives."

The Midrash says that at that moment, the letter yud (which is the first letter in the word Yarbeh) came before G-d and asked, "Is it not true that You said that not even one letter of the Torah will ever be nullified, and here Shlomo has voided an entire verse!" ("Lo Yarbeh" is the phrase that means that the king should not marry too many wives. The word "lo" merely means no or not.)

G-d responded to the letter yud as follows: "Shlomo and a thousand others like him will become null and void but even the small point in your shape I will not allow to become nullified. You, letter Yud, and all of Torah is Eternal; the great King Shlomo and a thousand like him will be nullified."

http://messiahtruth.yuku.com/reply/73827/Re-Did-King-Solomon-marry-nonJewish-women#.WRMssHkpBhE

David's 9 (or so) wives ???
That he was pushing the limit.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!
Supporter
Jun 18, 2014
30,521
16,866
Maryland - just north of D.C.
Visit site
✟771,800.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Why, when referring to the sin of LUST, ... did Jesus use the example of a man looking upon a woman ???
Women were not usually seen in public. The men did almost all of the business. And the Greek word refers to an adult woman - meaning she was married. The context was discussing the 10 commandments and extensions thereof. So "lust" in this context would have been referring to "covet," which means to fixate on, to idolize.

So what HE was saying was to not lust after - desire - covet your neighbor's (or anyone else's for that matter) wife to want her to be YOUR wife/sex partner.

He actually was not saying anything one way or the other about looking at explicit images (which were common in Roman culture) and getting hot and bothered by them.
 
Upvote 0

Angel Wings 1288

Active Member
Feb 3, 2017
257
183
TX
✟29,884.00
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
Private
Is rape within a marriage valid in biblical terms?

I know there is a recent societal move against it and there can also be legal repercussions, but from a strictly biblical point of view, is there anything wrong with a husband forcing himself upon his wife?

Any scriptural references one can use to determine whether it is wrong or not? Maybe it just falls into the general realm of "being a good person", so to speak.

God created Eve so that his first created human wouldn’t be lonely. She was created from Adam’s rib, not his foot, which clearly suggests that our creator intends for men and women to be equal. Men are not entitled to rule over their wives for this reason, nor are they allowed to hurt them because we are equal. After all, isn’t the second greatest commandment to love others? Any man who treats his wife like property is committing a deep sin and must repent.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

ViaCrucis

Confessional Lutheran
Oct 2, 2011
37,342
26,787
Pacific Northwest
✟728,236.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
Is rape within a marriage valid in biblical terms?

Is rape within marriage valid? Do you mean is it still rape if someone rapes their spouse? Yes, of course it's still rape, rape is always rape. Or do you mean if it's okay? Because no of course it's not okay--it's rape. And rape is never okay, it is a violent attack and violation of another human being.

I know there is a recent societal move against it and there can also be legal repercussions, but from a strictly biblical point of view, is there anything wrong with a husband forcing himself upon his wife?

Yeah, "Love your neighbor" and "Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church"; both of these make it pretty clear that we are to love other people selflessly in general, and that husbands are commanded to treat their wives with love, kindness, respect, and humility: "Submit to one another in love out of reverence of Christ" is what the Apostle teaches.

Any scriptural references one can use to determine whether it is wrong or not? Maybe it just falls into the general realm of "being a good person", so to speak.

Yeah, "Love your neighbor", that excludes all forms of abuse against other human beings. It's somewhat shocking to me that this would even need to be asked.

-CryptoLutheran
 
Upvote 0

ViaCrucis

Confessional Lutheran
Oct 2, 2011
37,342
26,787
Pacific Northwest
✟728,236.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
its usually wrong. but not always. the devil is in the details.
why would a husband have to rape his wife to have sex with her?.
there is no clear addressing of this issue in the bible. but you know God wants us to do what's is best for everyone. so its up to the situation. in a good relationship this would not happen. a good spouse does not withhold sex from the other one.
but if lets say the husband/wife is just not attracted to the other one. and because of that they refuse to have sex anymore(for a long time). which is something that the spouse does not have to except. so in that situation it might be ok. if all other options failed. like talking about it first.

For the love of all that is good and right are you seriously suggesting that if a wife no longer finds her husband attractive and isn't in the mood to sleep with him then he can force himself on her and it's okay?

How can you think such a thing, let alone say it out loud, without immediately feeling incredibly wrong? Where is conscience in this? How can this be something you can think without immediately recognizing the need to fall hands and knees on the ground in repentance and seek out some serious counseling?

-CryptoLutheran
 
Upvote 0

RedPonyDriver

Professional Pot Stirrer
Oct 18, 2014
3,524
2,427
USA
✟76,166.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
Politics
US-Democrat
How does forcing your wife to have sex with you square with "husbands LOVE your wives as Christ loves the church..."?

One last time guys...you DO NOT own your wife. She is not your property nor is she your slave. You cannot force her to do anything...at all. Why? Because the instructions to the husbands include loving your wife, treating her with understanding, etc. But...guys get it all messed up. And, for the record, if my husband attempted to force himself upon me, his new nickname would be "Stubby".
 
Upvote 0

noam burde

Active Member
Supporter
Mar 27, 2017
126
35
34
zikim israel
Visit site
✟57,439.00
Country
Israel
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
For the love of all that is good and right are you seriously suggesting that if a wife no longer finds her husband attractive and isn't in the mood to sleep with him then he can force himself on her and it's okay?

How can you think such a thing, let alone say it out loud, without immediately feeling incredibly wrong? Where is conscience in this? How can this be something you can think without immediately recognizing the need to fall hands and knees on the ground in repentance and seek out some serious counseling?

-CryptoLutheran
you start with "For the love of all that is good and right are you seriously ".
and you expect me to take you seriously?
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

noam burde

Active Member
Supporter
Mar 27, 2017
126
35
34
zikim israel
Visit site
✟57,439.00
Country
Israel
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
quoting my wife: "if a theaf steal money from you its wrong. if the government takes money from you that you didn't pay in taxes its not".
i mean of course for too much time. and without some real reason.
its stealing the persons's sexual life. because you expect him/her not to have sex with anyone else.
so that person has the right to take what is his back...
but this should not happen in any kind of even almost ok relationship.
I never been in this situation don't know what I would have done.
I know though jesus said:
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery"
so better not get to this this point.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0