Lust: Is it possible to control all your thoughts?

[Jim Bob]

I'm getting really angry when I think about how some women dress especially when it's summer. They walk around with totally tight clothes and sometimes it doesn't even look good or suit them but nevertheless they still have to force themselves into their tight jeans and whatever they wear. This angers me.
I have had days where it was so bad that I didn't know where to look because everywhere there were women in tight clothes tempting me. What if I see them and then simply can't control my thoughts!? Then I'm the one who sinned and they're innocent or what!?

I don't know about you but sometimes when I'm on the internet or in a forum then it happens that somebody opens a thread and I know there are pics of half-naked women in there and I know I shouldn't click on it but sometimes I do and then sometimes it's like all I have to see is one image for a second and then it's "on". Like an ex-smoker who just smelled his favorite brand. I don't understand how can this trigger such a reaction? And why doesn't this go away? I'm tired of always wrestling with such things and always feeling guilty. This only drags me down. Where is the freedom or the cure?!
Is all a christian can do feel miserable after a long day and then confess a long list of sins!?
Then again there are those who simply drop a few "helpful" phrases like: "You don't have to sin. There's freedom from sin. There is no temptation which is too big." But for me this isn't a reality. I know only tell what's real for me and temptation is very real. Like I said sometimes I only have to see 1 image in the newspaper or somewhere else and then I'm directly turned on and also can't simply get rid of this. And no smart advice like "simply avoid everything tempting" because that is not possible. Shall I lock myself away in the summer or what?
Why does it have to be such a struggle? If one could simply make a decision and then it's like not even the hottest women can affect you at all and it all bounces off from you then everything would be fine but why isn't it so?
And I am also disappointed with the sermons on this topic. I listened to many sermons about sin hoping to find a clear solution or method HOW to become dead to sin but in the end they were all not helpful and vague. Oh, you simply have to kill your flesh. Yeah, very helpful advice! Excuse me, I'm off killing my flesh....

Or another great advice "consider yourself dead to sin" yeah, that's totally easy. I guess I simply consider myself dead to sin and simply deny the reality that even one damn image can totally turn me on. How is denying the reality going to solve anything?!

 

[Tim Myers]

Sounds like you are more lonely than you are horny........

 

[Jim Bob]

Sounds like you are more lonely than you are horny........

What?

I'm simply frustrated because it sucks to always feel bad about yourself. I am really tired of this. Where is the point in always asking God for forgiveness and then you still do it again? This is so stupid. Always struggling and trying to resist sucks. Why does it have to be so hard? Does this belong to being a christian that you have to be miserable and feel bad and struggle?

 

[Tim Myers]

Please forgive my ignorance, but I don't understand why you "feel bad about yourself"??

Because you look at a half-dressed woman and feel aroused??

We are all imperfect creatures who need God's mercy and forgiveness every day of our lives........

 

[Jim Bob]

I feel bad about sinning and being carnal and not overcoming it. I simply am not the way I think I should be and I hate it. It's like a battle which I cannot win.
It's not simply seeing a half naked woman and being aroused it's this carnal response it's like you flip a switch and to me it seems like this carnality simply cannot be overcome and then always struggling with it and sensing these carnal impulses is depressing. I don't know how else to call it than an impulse. It simply seems totally overpowering and all I can do is later on ask for forgiveness but this isn't satisfying.

 

[Tim Myers]

Well, try not to condemn yourself so much over it......

What you are going through is nothing new to God.....
He understands and He forgives and He will always continue to love you anyway.........

 

[ghendricks63]

I feel bad about sinning and being carnal and not overcoming it. I simply am not the way I think I should be and I hate it. It's like a battle which I cannot win.
It's not simply seeing a half naked woman and being aroused it's this carnal response it's like you flip a switch and to me it seems like this carnality simply cannot be overcome and then always struggling with it and sensing these carnal impulses is depressing. I don't know how else to call it than an impulse. It simply seems totally overpowering and all I can do is later on ask for forgiveness but this isn't satisfying.

I do not believe looking at a sensual woman and appreciating the sexuality of the opposite sex is sinful. These normal sexual feelings and urges, even to the point of arousal and imagining the joys of sexual love, do not rise to the level of lusting necessarily and are not therefore inherently sinful. We have let the church beat us up for so long and turn normal sexual thoughts and feelings into a dirty sin that we have become enslaved to false theology and live defeated lives.

Yes it is possible to commit sexual sin...but normal sexual thoughts and feelings that our maker hard wired into us for GOOD is not sexual sin.

 

[Tim Myers]

It is one of "the devil's" oldest tricks............

Tempt someone into doing something and then make them condemn themselves for doing it........

 

[Starpuppy]

Hello Brother Jim, I can understand your situation and i have been in your shoes before and l am

When i see women who dress tight clothes and in return they cause arousal, i just sigh and give a small prayer to them. It is the media that cause the "fashion of wearing little and showing off assets"

 

[Jpark]

Oh, you simply have to kill your flesh. Yeah, very helpful advice! Excuse me, I'm off killing my flesh....

Just pray to God to apply His blood to your heart. Or ask Him for the blood so you can apply it by yourself.

If I'm nuts, then what's:

James 4:8 ...purify your hearts, you double-minded.

1 John 3:3 And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

?



A lost practice in the first century early Christian churches is revealed in Scripture. Notice that to be sprinkled with His blood is equated with obeying Jesus.

It's the only way (1 Peter 1:2) to defeat the flesh (Gen. 4:7; Rom. 6, 8:13-14, 1 Peter 1:23, John 3:8, John 1:12-13) and enable (1 Peter 1:22) your spirit (Mark 14:38) for dominance over the body (Gal. 5:17).

No one is completely born again because they have not repented genuinely.

Complete born again status is accompanied with Jesus' active intervention (1 John 5:18), and essentially sinless state (1 John 3:9, 6).

If I'm lacking understanding, then why does Scripture say we should be perfect?

Heb. 10:1 For the Law, since it has only a shadow of the good things to come and not the very form of things, can never, by the same sacrifices which they offer continually year by year, make perfect those who draw near.

Heb. 10:22 let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

In other words, let us draw near perfected.



Furthermore, if majority of Christians are completely born again, then why is there so much prevalent violence, calamity, and turmoil in the world?

Gen. 6:11 Now the earth was corrupt in the sight of God, and the earth was filled with violence.

Unless man applies the blood of Jesus to his own heart, then he cannot sincerely love one another (1 Peter 1:22). He cannot sincerely forgive (Matt. 18:34-35). That doesn't mean he is devoid of morals. Only that his morals ultimately fail to meet God's standards.

 

[dayhiker]

When women dress in such sexy ways, I just take a look and thank God for how beautiful He created women. If one of the woman wanted to talk to me I'd thank them for showing me God's creation by not wearing a burka!

Praise the Lord.

 

[brightmorningstar]

yes it is possible, no it is not probably.
Evil thoughts dont come when one focuses on Christ and are lead by the Spirit, they come when believers take their eyes off Christ and on to themselves. We all fall short at times.

 

[Tim Myers]

The problem with lust in a man is, it does not all merely come from his mind........

 

[LWB]

Jim Bob, I know how you feel, but I have learnt not to be too troubled.

I view my sexuality; my desire for woman, as a gift, even though I'm not in a relationship and don't have an interest in marriage. We are commanded to love others, and thanks to my natural affection for the female kind, half of that job is made easy.

My freedom in Christ allows me to enjoy the beauty of woman with as much chastity as enjoying a flower or a sunset. I'm not afraid to admire a beautiful woman, but if she seems a victim of fashion, I become embarrassed for her. Then I feel it a shameful thing to take advantage of her vulnerability.

See, there is something that I think is even more beautiful than the glory of a woman, and that is the nobility of my Lord Jesus. His virtue seems to me the most beautiful thing I know, and the amazing thing is that God is pleased to conform me to that beauty if I'm willing. I'm willing!

So although there are times that Eros clouds my better judgement, the more I submit myself to the Lord, the more Agape takes precedence in my heart. I can no longer enjoy that which I know seduces and abuses the very one I profess to desire: woman.

There is a shift from one aesthetic (carnal) to another aesthetic (virtue). When I'm weak, I don't see myself committing a great crime against my Lord. I'm just not being as beautiful as a could be for him.

 

[ghendricks63]

Just pray to God to apply His blood to your heart. Or ask Him for the blood so you can apply it by yourself.

If I'm nuts, then what's:

James 4:8 ...purify your hearts, you double-minded.

1 John 3:3 And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

?



A lost practice in the first century early Christian churches is revealed in Scripture. Notice that to be sprinkled with His blood is equated with obeying Jesus.

It's the only way (1 Peter 1:2) to defeat the flesh (Gen. 4:7; Rom. 6, 8:13-14, 1 Peter 1:23, John 3:8, John 1:12-13) and enable (1 Peter 1:22) your spirit (Mark 14:38) for dominance over the body (Gal. 5:17).

No one is completely born again because they have not repented genuinely.

Complete born again status is accompanied with Jesus' active intervention (1 John 5:18), and essentially sinless state (1 John 3:9, 6).

If I'm lacking understanding, then why does Scripture say we should be perfect?

Heb. 10:1 For the Law, since it has only a shadow of the good things to come and not the very form of things, can never, by the same sacrifices which they offer continually year by year, make perfect those who draw near.

Heb. 10:22 let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

In other words, let us draw near perfected.



Furthermore, if majority of Christians are completely born again, then why is there so much prevalent violence, calamity, and turmoil in the world?

Gen. 6:11 Now the earth was corrupt in the sight of God, and the earth was filled with violence.

Unless man applies the blood of Jesus to his own heart, then he cannot sincerely love one another (1 Peter 1:22). He cannot sincerely forgive (Matt. 18:34-35). That doesn't mean he is devoid of morals. Only that his morals ultimately fail to meet God's standards.

"No one is completely born again"?

Wow...talk about a works based salvation. You can have it my friend...but Christ's salvation is not works based and it is permanent and complete!!!

I have a radical idea...how about we stop calling EVERYTHING sin? I don't need to stop having a normal and healthy thought life because GOD DESIGNED me this way and it is not sinful. Lust is not defined by random thoughts of sexuality. It is not even deliberate thoughts of sexuality.

This sex negative OBSESSION of the church is based on a distortion of scripture and it drives me nuts.

 

[Jim Bob]

But in the bible there are many verses which speak against lust. In Job it says somewhere that he made a promise not to lust after girls or something like that. Or the bible also talks about the lust of the eyes.
In my opinion these verses sound like you better not look at anything because if you do and then are turned on by it then you've lusted but how is this supposed to work?
And if it's sin to be turned on by something then why does this response even exist? Why can't it be turned off somehow?
How would a man have reacted to a woman without the fall of man? What would have happened if he had seen a totally beautiful woman? Would he have looked at her and not felt anything? I really don't know what's normal and what isn't. If it's a sin or carnal when you see something and then you're instantly get a desire then why can't this be turned off? Why does one always have to struggle and fight against something which cannot be defeated?

And when I know that I must not think a certain thing and try not to think it then it can happen that I think exactly what I try not to think.

 

[ghendricks63]

But in the bible there are many verses which speak against lust. In Job it says somewhere that he made a promise not to lust after girls or something like that. Or the bible also talks about the lust of the eyes.
In my opinion these verses sound like you better not look at anything because if you do and then are turned on by it then you've lusted but how is this supposed to work?
And if it's sin to be turned on by something then why does this response even exist? Why can't it be turned off somehow?
How would a man have reacted to a woman without the fall of man? What would have happened if he had seen a totally beautiful woman? Would he have looked at her and not felt anything? I really don't know what's normal and what isn't. If it's a sin or carnal when you see something and then you're instantly get a desire then why can't this be turned off? Why does one always have to struggle and fight against something which cannot be defeated?

And when I know that I must not think a certain thing and try not to think it then it can happen that I think exactly what I try not to think.

I think you answered your own question. If you determine these references to mean any sexual thought then you have of course created an impossible scenario. God is not so cruel as to place such strong sexual desires within us simply for the purpose of creating a hell on earth in our minds.

The references you list have much more reasonable explanations. In the Job excerpt it is likely referring to "girls" too young to marry. Since the custom of the day was girls married at or shortly following puberty...this verse makes much more sense taken as an admonition against pedophilia.

The references to "lust of the eyes" is most often referring to any physical desire that becomes extreme and involving greed and/or covetousness. It is not referring to a sexual thought when looking at a person of the opposite sex.

 

[Grey Wanderer]

Sorry man. That's how God made you. If you weren't attracted by females or aroused by their bodies, you wouldn't have that natural want to get into a relationship with a female. Before internet and blind dates, initiation was pretty much started with physical attraction by sight. So it's natural. And the more you fight looking, the more the need seems to increase. Am I right? You try to bulldoze your mind into saying "Don't think about THIS?" Then your mind asks, "About what?" It responds again, "About THIS?" How can THIS not enter your mind when IT'S the focus of what you're trying NOT to think about? It's a total catch 22 and you'll drive yourself insane.

Looking and admiring are one thing. Looking, then gawking for 10 minutes, then fantasizing about it for the rest of the day is totally another. At that point, it consumed your heart and mind and it's total lusting.

Everything in moderation. Overdoing something that's supposed to remain at it's natural point can't complicate lots of feelings and emotions. Under-doing it can have the same effect.

If you're single, the system of arousal works to get you into a relationship. When you're in a relationship, the system of arousal is a nice tool to help you beef up on self control. You can't be a successful Christian if you never have temptation in the first place to be able to overcome it. So that's why the "switch" isn't shut off the minute you enter into a relationship. The system is there for very good reasons.

Hope that helped.

 

[Jpark]

"No one is completely born again"?

Wow...talk about a works based salvation. You can have it my friend...but Christ's salvation is not works based and it is permanent and complete!!!

I have a radical idea...how about we stop calling EVERYTHING sin? I don't need to stop having a normal and healthy thought life because GOD DESIGNED me this way and it is not sinful. Lust is not defined by random thoughts of sexuality. It is not even deliberate thoughts of sexuality.

This sex negative OBSESSION of the church is based on a distortion of scripture and it drives me nuts.

If everyone's released from their sins, then why do they still sin?

Does this mean that everyone sins because they are willing to?

Or as I indicated, is it because they haven't received the enablement of the blood of Jesus?

To be honest, I am often overwhelmed by sexual desire. However, I find that I can actually resist it, if and when I apply the blood of Jesus. The problem is, even if you were enabled, would you have the willing? I certainly don't at times.

 

[ghendricks63]

If everyone's released from their sins, then why do they still sin?

Does this mean that everyone sins because they are willing to?

Or as I indicated, is it because they haven't received the enablement of the blood of Jesus?

To be honest, I am often overwhelmed by sexual desire. However, I find that I can actually resist it, if and when I apply the blood of Jesus. The problem is, even if you were enabled, would you have the willing? I certainly don't at times.

1. - How does one "apply" the blood of Christ? This sounds a lot like spiritual hocus-pocus to me.
2. - Why do you feel you need to "resist" sexual desire? God created us with these desires and they are not sinful. Obviously they can be abused, but to simply posess sexual desire is not a sinful thought process.