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Love like Jesus - Responding to Hurtful Words

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by Debbie Draft, Nov 30, 2020.

  1. Debbie Draft

    Debbie Draft New Member

    5
    +9
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    My husband & I have been together since 2015; a quick relationship right after his former one & I was pregnant immediately. His father died the same year. We’ve progressed to this state of life where he’s so hateful. In one night he’s said these things:


    Lmao you're an idiot

    I honestly can say I hate you more than I ever hated **ex-wife**

    You're pathetic

    People genuinely don't [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ing like you and you don't see it

    Your dad doesn't like you
    Your mom hates you

    You are my absolute worst enemy I've ever had and that's saying something

    I pretend to get along with you but deep down I'm miserable every second I have to spend with you

    No. I really do hate you
    You're an awful wife

    I never wanted to be with you. You were just a means to an end.

    Why did I never propose? Because I never wanted to marry you

    I can honestly say you are my worst enemy.

    Are the signs not there? I don't like talking to you, I don't care about going on date nights with you, I don't like being near you.

    I literally HATE you


    I am trying so so so hard to love like Jesus & not reciprocate. How do I react when it’s a persistent stab in the gut? I say I hear you, I forgive you, you’re obviously angry right now so let’s talk later but it keeps going. I desperately want to fight for my husband and marriage but I need support.
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. xaris

    xaris Member

    207
    +197
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    If one is born again, this should be true...

    And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
    (Rom 5:5)
     
  3. Jeshu

    Jeshu Bought by His Blood Supporter

    +6,616
    Australia
    Christian
    Married
    i think that you need to fight for your marriage. First of all your husband needs to take responsibility for his words and actions. In other words he needs to grow up. He is acting like an immature spoiled child rather than a devoted husband.

    In second place, and not less important than the first point, is you need a place of healing from the abuse. You and your husband who constantly gas lights you needs help just as much as you do.

    So seek out a good Christian counsellor and see if he or she can help heal your marriage. Just make sure you read some reviews, or talk to people, who have been counselled successfully, before you decide on who to employ to help you. A good counsellor is essential.
     
  4. DiscipleHeLovesToo

    DiscipleHeLovesToo Regular Member Supporter

    +490
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    does your husband profess to be reborn in Christ?

    are there other influences on him that would cause him to hate; does he talk about hating other people/things a a lot?

    is there a disagreement between you two that prompts this behavior when it comes up?
     
  5. Froggymom101

    Froggymom101 New Member

    22
    +15
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Oh dear! How terribly hurtful and no excuse for these words. I find that sometimes people lash out and say mean and untrue things when they are angry and upset about other things. Of course we want to be like Jesus but I don't think He meant us to be a doormat for anyone. The idea of marriage counselling is a good one. You can find some help and hope for your marriage here Home - Hope Restored : A Marriage Intensive Experience. I will be praying for you.
     
  6. Endeavourer

    Endeavourer Well-Known Member

    +1,400
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Did you realize that she is not married?

    You have provided very damaging advice.
     
  7. Endeavourer

    Endeavourer Well-Known Member

    +1,400
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Debbie, this is not a time for notions of unconditional love.

    You are not married, and your partner is not marriage material. Dating is an interview for marriage and this person has failed the interview.

    You will be incurring stress induced health problems (often irreversible) if you stay in this situation. For more details, please see my response to your same post under the Marriage forums on this site.

    You need to separate from this person immediately and not look back. File for child support but do not marry this man and do not stay with him.
     
  8. Endeavourer

    Endeavourer Well-Known Member

    +1,400
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Whaaaat? She is not married and the man does not want to be. This advice to lopsidedly pursue a marital relationship with a man who is not her husband and doesn't want to be is very damaging. Could you please reconsider your post?
     
  9. Endeavourer

    Endeavourer Well-Known Member

    +1,400
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    He is not her husband.

     
  10. Lord Give Me A Sign

    Lord Give Me A Sign Newbie

    662
    +729
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    It breaks my heart to know that you have had such harsh words spoken to you. I dont have an answer other then that its best to always strive to be as much like Jesus as possible. I am truly sorry for what your going through and I pray that things get better for you :praying:
     
  11. DiscipleHeLovesToo

    DiscipleHeLovesToo Regular Member Supporter

    +490
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Debbie - are you married to this man?
     
  12. NBB

    NBB Well-Known Member Supporter

    +1,015
    Uruguay
    Christian
    Single
    Christians don't do that, so either he is not very christian like, or he has lots of problems.
    Also if he says those things to you, he are meaning them and i don't think he loves you, that is outright mistreatment and verbal violence and you just don't do that with a loved one, so leave him alone, or maybe RUN you don't want to live with such a person.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2020
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