Loneliness

[PeculiarTreasure]

Now that my kids are getting older and spending more time out of the home, I have been dealing with loneliness as well. That's one reason I was looking and found this site.

One key for me has been to really get involved at my church. I pretty much show up every time the doors are open. There are no singles and few people my age, but it keeps me occupied. The other thing that I have been trying to do is to see my loneliness as a sign that God is calling me into a closer relationship with Him. I find a quiet place and ask him to fill those lonely places with His love. It really works, I've never felt so close to Him in all my life.

First of all Welcome to CF! I hear ya on the church thing! I love going to church. I've recently started volunteering there throughout the week and I enjoy it very much. It's helped a lot.

I've never really thought about maybe it's a sign from God calling me to get closer to Him. I have been feeling rather far away from Him for awhile now. Thanks for sharing. It's definetly something to think about.

 

[RED that's ME]

To have friends you must be a friend first by putting yourself out there. Going to church and getting involved there can be a good thing. Have you thought about doing volunteer work? You might contact your local Volunteer Center and see what's open. I find helping people helps me personally for a variety of reasons.

One thing you just said to is true, we sometimes go looking for fulfillment in everything but God. God is our completer.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

To have friends you must be a friend first by putting yourself out there. Going to church and getting involved there can be a good thing. Have you thought about doing volunteer work? You might contact your local Volunteer Center and see what's open. I find helping people helps me personally for a variety of reasons.

One thing you just said to is true, we sometimes go looking for fulfillment in everything but God. God is our completer.

I guess getting out there is the hardest thing in the world for me to do. I'm sooo shy it's pathetic. I know I need to though and I'm working on it. I do actually volunteer at my church. It's helped a lot.

Oh yeah I'm guilty of doing that everyday. I think it's one of the biggest things I'm dealing with right now.

Thanks for replying. That goes for everyone!

 

[covenantwmn]

I decided to get involved with our church's women's ministry. I now have some very, very close friends, and not enough time. It makes things more difficult without friends, I pray the Lord sends someone across your path soon.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I think like many others said get involved with your church, helping others has a great way of making us happy and needed.

I think we go through lonely times when God is really working in us, changing us... So see it is a blessing that this too shall pass and you will be stronger because of it.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I decided to get involved with our church's women's ministry. I now have some very, very close friends, and not enough time. It makes things more difficult without friends, I pray the Lord sends someone across your path soon.

Thanks for your prayers.

I think like many others said get involved with your church, helping others has a great way of making us happy and needed.

I think we go through lonely times when God is really working in us, changing us... So see it is a blessing that this too shall pass and you will be stronger because of it.

Thanks.

 

[servantsheart4God]

It could be a good thing like God wants your full, undivided attention to maybe reveal something to you. It could be unfortunate where you don't feel like yourself because you maybe don't have a someone to share yourself with.

For me, it's the idea of being "alone" and not so much no one to talk with that really gets to me. Thankfully, I have women friends that I can really rely on. So that's not the issue with me.

I am just now trying to get used to be alone...again. Without going too much into detail, I just knew that God wanted me "alone" and "just for Him". I still don't know for how much longer this will be the case, but it was always the case that God had been trying to get my attention. As stubborn as I can be because I WILL have my way....until God has His.

Personally, I just realized it's really how content we are willing to be being alone. I just thank God for His patience and understanding to the situation I just encountered (and still going through) that I know I can rest in His arms and not those of man.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

It could be a good thing like God wants your full, undivided attention to maybe reveal something to you. It could be unfortunate where you don't feel like yourself because you maybe don't have a someone to share yourself with.

For me, it's the idea of being "alone" and not so much no one to talk with that really gets to me. Thankfully, I have women friends that I can really rely on. So that's not the issue with me.

I am just now trying to get used to be alone...again. Without going too much into detail, I just knew that God wanted me "alone" and "just for Him". I still don't know for how much longer this will be the case, but it was always the case that God had been trying to get my attention. As stubborn as I can be because I WILL have my way....until God has His.

Personally, I just realized it's really how content we are willing to be being alone. I just thank God for His patience and understanding to the situation I just encountered (and still going through) that I know I can rest in His arms and not those of man.

I so forgot about this thread. lol! I'm still dealing with this though. You seriously hit the nail on the head. Especially that last part. Thanks so much for replying you have no idea how much I needed to hear that. You see I've never dated anybody. I've never been on a date, kissed a guy or anything like that. I've been dealing with contentment for quite awhile now in the area of my singleness. It's so hard to deal with it. I know I just need to let it go and give to Him but it's much easier said than done. Thanks again for replying. God bless you!

 

[b4uris]

I think the feeling of loneliness comes from having to much time to waster, or from getting caught up in monotony. Whichever the case, I believe the solution is the same: pursue your hobbies, interests ,etc. Learn a new skill, do things you've always wanted to do!!! Appreciate every good thing you have done, what you are doing, and your career goals or goals in general.

There's not much room for loneliness when you are living a life full of passion.

 

[overit]

What do I do? Well I'm very busy, but yes of course there are times we all feel lonely. You want a massage, you want to be intimate, you want someone to listen to you rant about your day or talk about the kids, or share moments, watch a movie with you.

I stay busy, with work, at home, with chores, with my pets-I love playing fetch with my pup, she is tireless and an absolute clown, and she really has brought much joy into our lives. My kids keep me entertained with jokes, good talks and even when they are being a pain or misbehaving. I talk with my friends, I have good friends at work also, I go places when my kids are at their dad and take my little puppy princess with me. I go to church, or cook out with my friends, spend lots of time with my brother and his gf, my cousin (who is like my sister). Watch tv, read books, come to this site lol, drink a beer, or a glass of wine. Take a bubble bath and home spa day with candles, wine, soft music.

And when all else fails I talk to myself-dont' underestimate it guys, it's fun and you can create all types of scenarios. Be creative! Of course my personality has always been the creative, imaginative type and with the thoughts that go through my head I can never be bored lol. I'm out there and I love that I am. It keeps me insanely sane

 

[servantsheart4God]

I so forgot about this thread. lol! I'm still dealing with this though. You seriously hit the nail on the head. Especially that last part. Thanks so much for replying you have no idea how much I needed to hear that. You see I've never dated anybody. I've never been on a date, kissed a guy or anything like that. I've been dealing with contentment for quite awhile now in the area of my singleness. It's so hard to deal with it. I know I just need to let it go and give to Him but it's much easier said than done. Thanks again for replying. God bless you!

Hi!! I am so glad this blessed you! And you know, I was only speaking from my heart...and from experience. So I didn't even know that I was really touching someone else's heart! That is pretty neat.

You are right though, much easier said than done especially when we think we can do a much better job than God.

It looks like we are both dealing with this loneliness bit, just on different levels. All the same: you're dealing with loneliness, I'm dealing with being lonely again.

It is good to know and of great relief that there isn't something wrong with ME, just my approach to loneliness .

 

[rifle5k]

It could be a good thing like God wants your full, undivided attention to maybe reveal something to you. It could be unfortunate where you don't feel like yourself because you maybe don't have a someone to share yourself with.

For me, it's the idea of being "alone" and not so much no one to talk with that really gets to me. Thankfully, I have women friends that I can really rely on. So that's not the issue with me.

I am just now trying to get used to be alone...again. Without going too much into detail, I just knew that God wanted me "alone" and "just for Him". I still don't know for how much longer this will be the case, but it was always the case that God had been trying to get my attention. As stubborn as I can be because I WILL have my way....until God has His.

Personally, I just realized it's really how content we are willing to be being alone. I just thank God for His patience and understanding to the situation I just encountered (and still going through) that I know I can rest in His arms and not those of man.

never though of being alone could be a blessing like that..thanks.

 

[servantsheart4God]

never though of being alone could be a blessing like that..thanks.

LOL - you're welcome. But honeslty who would even think of being alone as a blessing??? It's your outlook of being alone that makes all the difference when you ARE alone.

 

[rifle5k]

Hi!! I am so glad this blessed you! And you know, I was only speaking from my heart...and from experience. So I didn't even know that I was really touching someone else's heart! That is pretty neat.

You are right though, much easier said than done especially when we think we can do a much better job than God.

It looks like we are both dealing with this loneliness bit, just on different levels. All the same: you're dealing with loneliness, I'm dealing with being lonely again.

It is good to know and of great relief that there isn't something wrong with ME, just my approach to loneliness .

really really atleast I know how to approach it now. I like it. True its easier said than done. Now I can come home from work and know what to do with my spare time. Have a conversation with god or worship him with a little music.

 

[Crucifix]

I so forgot about this thread. lol! I'm still dealing with this though. You seriously hit the nail on the head. Especially that last part. Thanks so much for replying you have no idea how much I needed to hear that. You see I've never dated anybody. I've never been on a date, kissed a guy or anything like that. I've been dealing with contentment for quite awhile now in the area of my singleness. It's so hard to deal with it. I know I just need to let it go and give to Him but it's much easier said than done. Thanks again for replying. God bless you!

Singing, I've been in your shoes re: dates & kissing women. What the others said is true - get out and involve yourself in something. Before that, you NEED to know what some of your strengths and abilities are. This "aloneness" can be a blessing in disguise. As they have said, you could spend some of your time in contemplative prayer and possibly you will find that God will speak to you. We have to be attentive to God's ways of talking to us - through others, by prayer, by our actions and our interactions with others. If you take some time for meditation and/or prayer each day, you will find yourself a happier person.

To break the shyness shell, you need to take a few risks and not be discouraged if the negative risks affect you. Fear is the greatest chain around one to hold them back from trying to do something. Even going to take a course in a craft of an academic subject will help you crack your shyness. It has to b/c you NEED to interact with other people.

Granted, it's a bit different for me, but I spent several months in a Trappist Monastery where contemplative prayer and working with others in complete silence is a must. The "loneliness" I had there helped me become happier with my solitary state in life at the moment. I've had some amazing things happen to me by people speaking with me by PM on other sites. They sensed something about me in the way I answered questions or made suggestions, so I guess I gave the impression that I was a "safe" person to confide in. That is also a gift from God - almost like being a priest in the confessional.

Again, please don't "put yourself down!" Maybe that's what you're doing and you don't realize it.

 

[servantsheart4God]

really really atleast I know how to approach it now. I like it. True its easier said than done. Now I can come home from work and know what to do with my spare time. Have a conversation with god or worship him with a little music.

That's so great. That's how I would go about it. Just a side note to your post. I was chatting with someone the other day having a discussion about how praying to God is really a conversation with Him. Although you are praying TO Him, I think that's how He see's in anyway, but without complicating it and making it sound like more of a"routine" when praying, all it really is is a simple conversation with God. I like that simplicity because God's not complicated .

Anyhow, you're outlook on loneliness is definately healthy and you have the right approach to it. Keep it up .

God bless,
sh4G

 

[JonMiller]

I ahve lots of freinds at my university. I have no hangout freinds here (I do have some I do something with once a month or so)

yes, I am lonely

I admit, I am uncertain how to make freinds outside of work and university

JM

 

[CoachR64]

My loneliness is killing me
I must confess, I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Coach

 

[servantsheart4God]

My loneliness is killing me
I must confess, I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Coach

omygoodness.....no you didn't just bring up that song (lol).....

 

[simmeringabsolute]

omygoodness.....no you didn't just bring up that song (lol).....

I remember a post of yours from the Advice forum about shy, quiet guys.... Have you made any progress what that guy, or is he old news?