living with the boyfriend for a month....

[Pink Angel]

hello everyone!

I am new to this part of the threads, you will mostly see me on singles too.

However i had a question about a situation i am about to go into that i am nervous about, and i was hoping maybe someone on here has been through this too or something like it that can lend some good advice...

well first let me introduce the boyfriend his name is Roger (just to make the story telling easier) he and I have been dating for over two months now, taking it slow and not rushing anything...so just last sunday we decided to become official, you know boyfriend/girlfriend.

Now i just got a new job that pays way more than my current job, however training is in a different city in my metroplex which is an hour commute, not counting any rush hour.. Roger lives inthis city that my trianing is in and its a month long so it takes too much gas to drive too and from every day and id have to wake up super early, so roger (who lives with his dad currently) spoke with his dad and said that i can stay there for the month while i am in training bc his house is right down the street from where training is..so what i need advice on is how to stay there for a month and not be in the way and still give him the space every guy needs? what do i do and what do i NOT do....dos and donts...I am just scared that this much time together will be bad i dont to scare him off or anything...

now i am scared of all this bc we do have this awesome connection and we just click i dotn want to ruin that...normally i do see him on weekends and usually spend the weekend with him bc of the distance between us....so any recommendations advice anything? I am open to watever you recommend! Thanks for your input! =)

 

[DeathMagus]

Wow! Sounds like a great way for you two to get to know each other better! I'd just do everything a good guest does - be polite to everyone, offer to help out when possible, don't be an inconvenience if you can help it. As long as you treat this stay like any other visit, you should be able to achieve the right mix of socializing and being unobtrusive that you won't drive him off. If it seems he's wanting to spend more free time with you, however, go for it!

Good luck!

 

[Gardener101]

hello everyone!

I am new to this part of the threads, you will mostly see me on singles too.

However i had a question about a situation i am about to go into that i am nervous about, and i was hoping maybe someone on here has been through this too or something like it that can lend some good advice...

well first let me introduce the boyfriend his name is Roger (just to make the story telling easier) he and I have been dating for over two months now, taking it slow and not rushing anything...so just last sunday we decided to become official, you know boyfriend/girlfriend.

Now i just got a new job that pays way more than my current job, however training is in a different city in my metroplex which is an hour commute, not counting any rush hour.. Roger lives inthis city that my trianing is in and its a month long so it takes too much gas to drive too and from every day and id have to wake up super early, so roger (who lives with his dad currently) spoke with his dad and said that i can stay there for the month while i am in training bc his house is right down the street from where training is..so what i need advice on is how to stay there for a month and not be in the way and still give him the space every guy needs? what do i do and what do i NOT do....dos and donts...I am just scared that this much time together will be bad i dont to scare him off or anything...

now i am scared of all this bc we do have this awesome connection and we just click i dotn want to ruin that...normally i do see him on weekends and usually spend the weekend with him bc of the distance between us....so any recommendations advice anything? I am open to watever you recommend! Thanks for your input! =)

Please do not do this. A. The relationship is too young B. The risk of sexual temptation is too high.

God bless you.

x

G101

 

[DeathMagus]

Please do not do this. A. The relationship is too young B. The risk of sexual temptation is too high.

God bless you.

x

G101

How do you know this? For one, she's not living alone with him - she's living with his parents. For another, you don't know at all how much temptation there will or will not be. My girlfriend and I both attend the same college, and as you can imagine we are presented with a myriad of times we could have sex if we wanted, easily. We choose not to. Perhaps the solution is not to avoid the difficulty and responsibility of the choice, but to recognize that the choice exists every day, to embrace it, and not simply to run and hide from it.

As for the relationship being too young, we have no idea how long the two have actually known each other - merely that 2 months ago they started dating.*

The possibility for sex will always open up. Trying to run and avoid it is an ultimately useless gesture, and doesn't say much for the moral fortitude of the couple, if they can't even address it in a mature manner.

*That said, I must admit I did fail to inquire about the amount of time they've known each other. If they just met 2 months ago, it would depend on how they met for me to consider living with him "safe."

 

[Pink Angel]

How do you know this? For one, she's not living alone with him - she's living with his parents. For another, you don't know at all how much temptation there will or will not be. My girlfriend and I both attend the same college, and as you can imagine we are presented with a myriad of times we could have sex if we wanted, easily. We choose not to. Perhaps the solution is not to avoid the difficulty and responsibility of the choice, but to recognize that the choice exists every day, to embrace it, and not simply to run and hide from it.

As for the relationship being too young, we have no idea how long the two have actually known each other - merely that 2 months ago they started dating.*

The possibility for sex will always open up. Trying to run and avoid it is an ultimately useless gesture, and doesn't say much for the moral fortitude of the couple, if they can't even address it in a mature manner.

*That said, I must admit I did fail to inquire about the amount of time they've known each other. If they just met 2 months ago, it would depend on how they met for me to consider living with him "safe."

we talked for a week before we started dating so i did just meet him a little over two months ago but it was through the friend of a friend link....and i do spend weekends there too bc he lives so far away so ive spent the night there many times but no temptation ever arises we just enjoy being in the presance of each other. if that helps any

 

[DeathMagus]

we talked for a week before we started dating so i did just meet him a little over two months ago but it was through the friend of a friend link....and i do spend weekends there too bc he lives so far away so ive spent the night there many times but no temptation ever arises we just enjoy being in the presance of each other. if that helps any

Sounds good to me. I stand by my original post.

 

[Gardener101]

I stand by my original post.

So do I

 

[cakes&buttercream]

I think its a wonderful, lovely idea! It will help you two get to know eachother better.

 

[peanutbutter12]

I'm with DeathMagus on this. As long as both of you accept the fact that nothing is going to happen, and are taking a stand to make sure it doesn't, then go for it. So long as you understand the risks involved and do your best to prevent them, then it's all good. It's an excellent way for the both of you to spend time together as well.

 

[seehimcoming]

How do you know this? For one, she's not living alone with him - she's living with his parents. For another, you don't know at all how much temptation there will or will not be. My girlfriend and I both attend the same college, and as you can imagine we are presented with a myriad of times we could have sex if we wanted, easily. We choose not to. Perhaps the solution is not to avoid the difficulty and responsibility of the choice, but to recognize that the choice exists every day, to embrace it, and not simply to run and hide from it.

As for the relationship being too young, we have no idea how long the two have actually known each other - merely that 2 months ago they started dating.*

The possibility for sex will always open up. Trying to run and avoid it is an ultimately useless gesture, and doesn't say much for the moral fortitude of the couple, if they can't even address it in a mature manner.

*That said, I must admit I did fail to inquire about the amount of time they've known each other. If they just met 2 months ago, it would depend on how they met for me to consider living with him "safe."

Well , they might not stumble ... but other new "weaker" christians might.. you do not let your brother stumble.
Other people might look up to you. Think about it.

 

[Blank123]

meh... if it was just the two of them alone together i would go with the stumbling block argument but if they're living with his family they've got people to hold them accountable (hopefully). it doesn't look quite so bad in that situation IMO.

though i would be concerned about living for a month with my bf and his family just because i hate being in the way or risking overstaying my welcome, but that may just be me

there is an easy way to take care of the stumbling block problem though if it is a concern for everyone involved. if his family has a camper or RV or something see if they'd open it up for you. That way its quite clear you're just visiting and you're not looking to sleep together and you'd also get some space of your own if you need it.

or just have him ask his relatives/church family/friends in the area if they have a spare room to lend/rent to you for a month.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I'm with DeathMagus on this. As long as both of you accept the fact that nothing is going to happen, and are taking a stand to make sure it doesn't, then go for it. So long as you understand the risks involved and do your best to prevent them, then it's all good. It's an excellent way for the both of you to spend time together as well.

Agreed.

 

[Windmill]

Be helpful when staying in the house offer to help out. Talk to everyone too if they're around