My girlfriend seems to have fallen out of love with me

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Hey, thank you for the detailed explanation of how to repost. Am using a phone now and it appears to be easier from here.

We spoke yesterday about us going to a church and have a pastor pray for us. Or that I can introduce her to a pastor of the church I attend. Or a pastor of the church she goes most regularly to. She dismissed and declined my attempts of persuading her to do that claiming she's fine and there's nothing wrong with her. I expressed my concerns over the fact she's hearing a voice and she said it'll go away soon, that her prayers are sufficient and doesn't need anyone's prayers.
I mentioned my concerns over her watching horror movies and listening to podcasts of demonic nature and again she said her nightmares don't come from there but she'll consider it.
Not sure what to make from all of this but it's clear she doesn't want any help and is happy with her current emotional state.
Yes, those demonic activities ceased with prayers and am not ruling out the possibility that it could be psychological. It's all of a grave concern, more so since she is not interested in prayers even.

I think the way in which you phrase what you say is incredibly important because it shows where you're coming from. If she is keen on avoiding something you think is potentially hazardous one thing you can do is to draw attention to the source of the voice. Genuinely get her opinion about where she thinks it comes from and when she thinks how long is enough before she needs some extra help. Be genuine in asking her if she think it is spiritual in nature and get her opinion about what she thinks created the demon that is speaking to her (only if she thinks it is one); which should point her back to God & it should bring her comfort knowing that He can help her. You can also draw her attention to how God loves it when we show love to one another by praying for each other. Don't forget that you don't have to be forceful, you can be persistent without doing so. You should know her well enough by now so that you can ask these things in love.

Regarding the horror movies it may be an opportunity to pray together before you watch one. You can express your concern to her and ask The Lord to protect you both. Obviously try your best to avoid that type of content but you know what I mean.

Perhaps you should consider fasting and asking our Creator to give you both clarity, show you the correct path forward and for His hand to be over you both. Asking that whatever she needs, that you may have provision for it. Whether it be counselling for psychological help or for spiritual help if there are malevolent spirits involved. You're both His children and He loves you both more than you can fathom. He wants you both to be closer to Him so He will help you and give you what you need.

There was a Christian horror/thriller movie about spiritual warfare that came out recently that perhaps could be a boon in showing her the potential dangers of this thing. You needn't mention that it's a Christian movie, you can just say that it's a horror. It's called Nefarious. Or if in your judgement/conscience it would not be wise to watch this movie, then heed that and avoid it instead. Like I've mentioned before, I don't want to speak in ignorance and potentially inflame or cause harm.

God bless and I pray that the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ is with you and your girlfriend .

 

[abelievingman]

i'm sorry brother. Thank you for being honest, it takes a humble person to do what you did.

If you both talked about marriage then good.

i cannot say what the right thing to do is. i only say to pray to Jesus for guidance. I've been married and i'm going through divorce. I want no one to go through this.

If you guys get married i hope you stay together for the rest of your lives and live to be 100+

Thank you, brother and I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Is your marriage not salvageable at all?

I hope you find peace in God's word and presence.

I should have come clean a long time ago.

 

[abelievingman]

I think the way in which you phrase what you say is incredibly important because it shows where you're coming from. If she is keen on avoiding something you think is potentially hazardous one thing you can do is to draw attention to the source of the voice. Genuinely get her opinion about where she thinks it comes from and when she thinks how long is enough before she needs some extra help. Be genuine in asking her if she think it is spiritual in nature and get her opinion about what she thinks created the demon that is speaking to her (only if she thinks it is one); which should point her back to God & it should bring her comfort knowing that He can help her. You can also draw her attention to how God loves it when we show love to one another by praying for each other. Don't forget that you don't have to be forceful, you can be persistent without doing so. You should know her well enough by now so that you can ask these things in love.

Regarding the horror movies it may be an opportunity to pray together before you watch one. You can express your concern to her and ask The Lord to protect you both. Obviously try your best to avoid that type of content but you know what I mean.

Perhaps you should consider fasting and asking our Creator to give you both clarity, show you the correct path forward and for His hand to be over you both. Asking that whatever she needs, that you may have provision for it. Whether it be counselling for psychological help or for spiritual help if there are malevolent spirits involved. You're both His children and He loves you both more than you can fathom. He wants you both to be closer to Him so He will help you and give you what you need.

There was a Christian horror/thriller movie about spiritual warfare that came out recently that perhaps could be a boon in showing her the potential dangers of this thing. You needn't mention that it's a Christian movie, you can just say that it's a horror. It's called Nefarious. Or if in your judgement/conscience it would not be wise to watch this movie, then heed that and avoid it instead. Like I've mentioned before, I don't want to speak in ignorance and potentially inflame or cause harm.

God bless and I pray that the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ is with you and your girlfriend .

Hey, brother, thank you for your prayers first and foremost!

Yesterday we had a discussion about the voice and she seems to think it's a sign to warn her about our relationship. When asked what does the voice say she didn't give an answer, that it's rather trivial and insignificant.

I did mention to her about the importance of praying for one another and she insisted her prayer is enough. I expressed worry of what if this continues for longer and she did not seem bothered or fazed by that suggestion.

Yes, horror movies should not be recommended to people with a history of nightmares & fear. She truly gets scared after watching one and asks me to stay on the phone with her till she falls asleep. Yet she wants to maintain this level of effort in watching material that isn't advised for viewing by Christians.

You're not causing any harm. I appreciate your dedication in trying to help me out. That movie title sounds interesting, I will suggest to her that we watch it. In fact, I am intrigued by it myself now, especially since it is an eye opening film about the dangers of delving in this genre.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Hey, brother, thank you for your prayers first and foremost!

Yesterday we had a discussion about the voice and she seems to think it's a sign to warn her about our relationship. When asked what does the voice say she didn't give an answer, that it's rather trivial and insignificant.

I did mention to her about the importance of praying for one another and she insisted her prayer is enough. I expressed worry of what if this continues for longer and she did not seem bothered or fazed by that suggestion.

Yes, horror movies should not be recommended to people with a history of nightmares & fear. She truly gets scared after watching one and asks me to stay on the phone with her till she falls asleep. Yet she wants to maintain this level of effort in watching material that isn't advised for viewing by Christians.

You're not causing any harm. I appreciate your dedication in trying to help me out. That movie title sounds interesting, I will suggest to her that we watch it. In fact, I am intrigued by it myself now, especially since it is an eye opening film about the dangers of delving in this genre.

The only concern with the movie is that it may provoke her to fearing possession when in actuality it might be a psychological issue she has or a misguided belief of treating her inner monologue as distinct from her. That's why I added the caveat. Hope all is resolved and that you may both grow closer together. I'm going to be taking a break from CF for about a week or so, so if you have any questions feel free to shoot me a DM (it's the 'start a conversation' button when you hover over someone's profile). I might check in to see if you've messaged but there's a chance I won't respond until I'm back. God bless.

Proverbs 16:3 .

 

[ReesePiece23]

Blimey, this sounds like an episode of Hollyoaks.

Er, yeah mate. She sounds mad. And you're too young to get mixed up in this insanity.

Once you remove yourself from this bizarre situation, you'll see what I'm talking about.

 

[Richard T]

Glad you took a chance on an Asian woman. It has paid off for me. Ephesians 4:26 implies she is going to forgive you, which of course later she did. I do have some worry about the "actions" part. Is money involved? If so, you should tread real carefully. 56 days should tell you alot though. Was she texting or calling anyone else? How is it she could take off so long? What is her means of support? Does it fit her lifestyle? I would make sure to answer the hard practical questions. You sure are love struck which is great unless someone is taking advantage of you. I have no reason to believe she is, but it can happen. Try especially to discern her motives and look closer at her background too. Is everything consistent? This especially would include things concerning her faith. her church, her baptism, her daily walk? What is the rest of her family's religious background?

I do not know the UK procedure for a fiance visa but the USA grants such a visa. The foreigner has 3 months to marry or go back. To me that sounds decent because she can possibly come to the UK and see how things are, giving you both time to see if things can work out. If you marry in Indonesia I imagine you can't bring her back to the UK for months (USA would be 1-2 years). That is extremely tough but still doable. Just make sure you have all your expectations in line, finances, job, likely scenario for life, what country, her family's potential immigration, and how often she needs to return to Indonesia if she marries you and is living in the UK. I do pray you have God's best, have wisdom from Him, and hear His will.

In case you or anyone is wondering, it generally takes 2 to 3 weeks to marry in most Asian countries. The exception is Hong Kong or Macau where you do not need to be a resident. Vietnam, Philippines, Thailand and every country in SE asia have lots more requirements than most Westerners are used to. Indonesia requires you to marry within your faith. I believe all Protestant groups are accepted together. I dont think a Catholic can marry a Protestant, and only a Muslim can marry a Muslim. It would be a plus I think if your gf was from the Church of God, which is a strong denomination in Jakarta among the majority Muslim population.

 

[shadowhunter]

Love covers a multitude of sins. It's not love. It's mutual manipulation. Do you choose to have such drama the rest of your life?