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Jamza
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Hi, what is your view on Christian's living together before marriage, if it was convenient, and if they still didn't have sex before they were married?
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JPPT1974
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I don't believe in having sex nor living together outside of marriage. Because that displeases as well as not in the Lord's will and best interests for us as He has only our best interests at heart. He wants both the husband & wife to save their gift of virginity on their wedding night. Because by doing that, will please Him as well as doing His will.
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wildthing said:
Excellent answer.
Besides even if you intend NOT to have sex
living in that type of proximity could lead you into that situation.
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christiankate
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I agree with all the above posters. I think that even if you just plan to live together and not have sex, it still is a bad idea. I don't think "convenience" is an excuse for living together.
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chuck010342
Regular Member
Jamza said:
There is no problem with this. if there is please show me the verse where it is said otherwise.
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Jamza said:
I'm assuming that you're talking about a boyfriend and girlfriend living together by themselves. I think it's a bad idea. For one thing, it's putting both people in a tempting situation, and we're supposed to flee temptation.
We're also supposed to avoid the appearance of evil. Realistically, if a boyfriend and girlfriend move in together, everyone is going to assume that they are having sex. Other couples may look at them as an example of what is ok for Christians. Put those two concepts together and you have people thinking something that sounds like: "John and Jane are good Christians and they're living together even though they're not married, so it must be ok for us to have premarital sex too.
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boilerblues
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chuck010342 said:
Living together, even intending not to have sex, runs contrary to fleeing sexual temptation and it's certainly giving the appearance of living in sin. We are called to be above reproach.
We had an interesting situation in my house church a while back. A couple was engaged to get married. She lived here, he was from Canada. They were going to live here so he had to do the immigration thing. He got it through and when he moved here he had to be living at the address that he gave immigration. She happened to already be living there and it was still several weeks until their marriage. As a house church leader (though not the captain of the house church) I really had a problem with this as it put on the appearance of inappropriate behavior and they were setting themselves up for a lot of temptation. I discussed this with our elder and he felt the same way. However, we could not point to a specific sin being committed. He talked with them regarding it and we discussed finding another place for her to stay until after the wedding. They chose not to listen to us. After the wedding they had said it was really hard to avoid temptation in that situation, they did avoid it though. As they were both great potential for leadership I was really saddened to see them do that because of appearances it was going to be a while before we could consider them for leadership, according to 1 Timothy 3 they had not been living in a manner that was beyond reproach. While what they did was technically not a sin, it was not very wise.
I couldn't name a specific verse that commands "thou shalt not live under the same roof of someone you are engaged with, even if you don't have sex" but in light of being beyond reproach and fleeing temptation I believe without doubt that it's a very dangerous thing to do.
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Tenorvoice
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wildthing said:
yet just one more way where you and I, WT see eye to eye again. I could not have said it better myself.
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"
Why would it be any concern of anyone elses. Who cares what others think. If your not having sex and commit to that, then ok. Only the persons involved and God will truely know what goes on and what doesn't. We are not supposed to judge others. However those involved need to stand strong by not having sex before their married, or yes it is a sin.
Why would it be any concern of anyone elses. Who cares what others think. If your not having sex and commit to that, then ok. Only the persons involved and God will truely know what goes on and what doesn't. We are not supposed to judge others. However those involved need to stand strong by not having sex before their married, or yes it is a sin.
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chuck010342
Regular Member
boilerblues said:
These two people were engaged to be married (using your example) right?
well what is taking so long? why not just be married?
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amy2003 said:
The reason we should care about what others think is this:
Romans 14:19-21
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.
Living with someone is not the sort of thing that stays private - other people are going to know about it. There's no way around that. And it is the sort of thing that could cause others to stumble.
It isn't the people looking on in horror and thinking "Sinners!!!" that are the issue. If it was just a matter of what sort of judgments about the couple that others would make, then you would have a point. As far as whether the couple themselves are directly sinning or not, it is indeed God's opinion that matters, not society's.
It's very true that only the people involved and God will know exactly what happened - so nearly everyone is going to see a couple living together and assume that they are having sex. And other couples who are weak in their faith will then assume that it is ok to have premarital sex, like they assume the first couple is doing. Or other couples who don't have as much self-control will assume that they too should live in the same sort of tempting situation if it is convenient. If the first couple's action of living together is potentially causing others to stumble, it would be better for them not to live together until they are married.
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chuck010342
Regular Member
fishstix said:
Romans is talking about eating food in the view of others who think it unclean to eat that specific food. It has nothing to do with people living togther.
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boilerblues
Well-Known Member
chuck010342 said:
They were waiting for their wedding day, they were in this situation for about a month.
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boilerblues
Well-Known Member
chuck010342 said:
It's a situation whose principles apply to other situations as well. While Paul did not consider himself in the wrong if he did something that technically wasn't wrong, he did consider himself in the wrong if his example caused another brother to do something that was wrong or that went against his conscience.
While what I do is between me and God, God does expect me to set an example of holy living to others. If I do something that leads other people to sin then God will also hold me accountable. That's the premise behind 1 Corinthians 8-9 and Romans 14-15.
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J
Jamza
Guest
Yeah I was thinking those points too...Although just to clarify I did mean if they were engaged etc, What if it was a student money situation thing, with people going to uni and was shared with a couple of other Christian housemates?
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