Life just does not seem to be working for us...

[GospelS]

I know the Bible talks about giving, but I think there comes a time where you give and give and give and become so depleted.

There might be something you could change the way you do it. Are you giving intangible things like your time, love, care, your skills and knowledge to those who could not have them otherwise unless you give? For me, I've always received more by giving like it is said in Luke 6:38 and Malachi 3:10. These are the words spoken by the Lord Himself. This has been true for me. I mean literally my baskets kept overflowing that i could not contain. I was overjoyed. I got more to give away over and over again. May be there's a harvest season ahead for you when you shall also receive in abundance. Also, you can be innovative on how you tithe. Make sure you are tithing in a real house of the Lord. Not every church is a real house of God where His Spirit dwells. I give my tithe to real people of God in whom He dwells or to a genuine ministry/organization. It depends on how the Holy Spirits leads each of us. Sometimes, I sense that there are some places/people where God has put a restriction where I'm not supposed to give or i shall deplete and suffer severe consequences if i do so. Pray about it and He will guide you. If my giving is lead by the Holy Spirit, i would have a joyful heart even if i'm depleting and empty.

 

[GospelS]

Strangely, I seem to have a constant yearning to live in the US and is a yearning that never seems to disappear.

Same with me. I've lived in the US for a couple of years and my experience was beyond awesome and super incredible.

 

[Joined2krist]

Thanks and I understand that the USA will not be paradise. We lived in the USA twice and saw plenty of downsides, along with the upsides. For me, the USA just has that something that I yearn for very deep down inside. After nearly 20 years passing since the first time we lived in the USA, that yearning has not gone. I just keep burying the yearning and try to distract myself from it and talk myself into the fact that it is just not possible for us. As it is has been discussed, the wife just does not seem to handle living in the USA, so it is a useless yearning for me to have.
At the moment I am trying to work through starting over and get the show on the road with being here.

There are places in the US that might be similar to her lifestyle in Australia. Maybe you should research more on these and let her know about it afterwards, then you can plan a vacation there and if she likes it you can purchase a holiday home(if you have the money) where you can visit often to let out steam, it seems like you'll have to continue compromising as long as she doesn't want to move but you don't have to deprive yourself of short visits. God bless

 

[Tony Stark]

There might be something you could change the way you do it. Are you giving intangible things like your time, love, care, your skills and knowledge to those who could not have them otherwise unless you give? For me, I've always received more by giving like it is said in Luke 6:38 and Malachi 3:10. These are the words spoken by the Lord Himself. This has been true for me. I mean literally my baskets kept overflowing that i could not contain. I was overjoyed. I got more to give away over and over again. May be there's a harvest season ahead for you when you shall also receive in abundance. Also, you can be innovative on how you tithe. Make sure you are tithing in a real house of the Lord. Not every church is a real house of God where His Spirit dwells. I give my tithe to real people of God in whom He dwells or to a genuine ministry/organization. It depends on how the Holy Spirits leads each of us. Sometimes, I sense that there are some places/people where God has put a restriction where I'm not supposed to give or i shall deplete and suffer severe consequences if i do so. Pray about it and He will guide you. If my giving is lead by the Holy Spirit, i would have a joyful heart even if i'm depleting and empty.

I think I feel that I have made so much effort with people and in the end they have just kicked me to the curb. When this happens a lot and you feel that pain, it just gets real hard.

 

[Tony Stark]

Same with me. I've lived in the US for a couple of years and my experience was beyond awesome and super incredible.

The US is pretty wonderful place and I have had the pleasure of living there twice and have been in all of the lower 48 states.

 

[Tony Stark]

I think I just feel burned out here in Australia. In the US, I think I felt invigorated and willing to embrace life more. I am trying to figure out how to get that same zing with living here.
Is it normal to feel flat and just wish you could start over, a fresh and somewhere else new?
It seems that a lot of the comments here are to just make life what you want it to be. When I think about that, it just doesn't seem to be that easy...

 

[GospelS]

I think I just feel burned out here in Australia. In the US, I think I felt invigorated and willing to embrace life more. I am trying to figure out how to get that same zing with living here.
Is it normal to feel flat and just wish you could start over, a fresh and somewhere else new?
It seems that a lot of the comments here are to just make life what you want it to be. When I think about that, it just doesn't seem to be that easy...

Its good to discuss with fellow believers but i just want to say that all your concerns will be answered and taken care by conversing with the Holy Spirit much more easily and efficiently. Only God knows the right thing to do and He will guide you. He will either change you or change your environment, people around you or your place. So, can i ask how much of quality time do you spend with God? How much do you get alone with God? Do you let Him speak to you and try listening to Him? How much do you meditate on the word of God, fast and pray? Are you still feeding on the milk like Paul addressed to Corinthians? Are you bearing all the fruits of the Spirit in your life? Are you just being a dove and not wise like a snake as the Lord told us in Matthew 10:16? Examine and answer these to yourself. Your grief seem like a result of your trust and hope in men. You could change places and do whatever makes you feel better but having deep discussions with the Holy Spirit and getting alone with God will give you true peace, joy and content wherever you are.

 

[Tony Stark]

Its good to discuss with fellow believers but i just want to say that all your concerns will be answered and taken care by conversing with the Holy Spirit much more easily and efficiently. Only God knows the right thing to do and He will guide you. He will either change you or change your environment, people around you or your place. So, can i ask how much of quality time do you spend with God? How much do you get alone with God? Do you let Him speak to you and try listening to Him? How much do you meditate on the word of God, fast and pray? Are you still feeding on the milk like Paul addressed to Corinthians? Are you bearing all the fruits of the Spirit in your life? Are you just being a dove and not wise like a snake as the Lord told us in Matthew 10:16? Examine and answer these to yourself. Your grief seem like a result of your trust and hope in men. You could change places and do whatever makes you feel better but having deep discussions with the Holy Spirit and getting alone with God will give you true peace, joy and content wherever you are.

I know that I need to do better with getting into God's Word. I won't make excuses, but it is hard and has been hard for some time. I have felt that life has been sucked out of me for the longest time now and life is just a chore. Missing the USA a lot and yearning for it deeply is something that I deal with in waves. I am mostly good with burying this sadness and yearning, but I think it will always be with me and maybe I just have to acknowledge this. When I see a US program, speak with a US friend, order something from the US... These are the times when the wave will sweep on in at its most intense state.
Getting back to the reality that the USA is gone and now history to me and that this is my life in Australia, I just seem to struggle with getting some string in my step here and enjoying life.
Maybe this is not possible? I am beginning to wonder whether it is not possible to be content and happy with life?

 

[GospelS]

I know that I need to do better with getting into God's Word. I won't make excuses, but it is hard and has been hard for some time. I have felt that life has been sucked out of me for the longest time now and life is just a chore. Missing the USA a lot and yearning for it deeply is something that I deal with in waves. I am mostly good with burying this sadness and yearning, but I think it will always be with me and maybe I just have to acknowledge this. When I see a US program, speak with a US friend, order something from the US... These are the times when the wave will sweep on in at its most intense state.
Getting back to the reality that the USA is gone and now history to me and that this is my life in Australia, I just seem to struggle with getting some string in my step here and enjoying life.
Maybe this is not possible? I am beginning to wonder whether it is not possible to be content and happy with life?

I understand. Same with me. Missing US a lot. This sadness and yearning will always be. I’m also struggling with getting some string in my step here in India and enjoying life. I’m learning to acknowledge and live on by finding content and joy through spending time alone with God and meditating on His word. Doing so, I find some comfort in His presence. That’s the only way I find some strength and help. Let God comfort you as well.

 

[Tony Stark]

Yearning to live out life in another place is hard. What does it mean when you yearn for something and it just does not seem a possibility?
Our second time living in the US seemed to be a real.... I am cautious in saying this, because I ultimately don't know... But it seemed that God was in our move back to the US. It seemed that He lined everything up. All the hoops and hurdles seemed like nothing. It just seemed like it was meant to be. However, in the end the guts fell out of everything due to my wife's homesickness. I often look back and wonder about that time and what went wrong. I personally believe (and maybe I am wrong in saying this) that we should have stayed in the USA, but we failed and moved back to Australia. I also believe that God has looked after us, even though we failed and I am grateful to Him for that. Present day, I still believe that while things could be worse... Life is probably not what it could have been... In the US... The yearning at times drives me nuts and I just wish that I could let the whole thing go and move on. This is something that drags me down too.
Maybe as you good folk in here are saying... Maybe this is just what it all is now and I just have to live with this until I pass into eternity?

 

[Chris V++]

I think I just feel burned out here in Australia. In the US, I think I felt invigorated and willing to embrace life more. I am trying to figure out how to get that same zing with living here.
Is it normal to feel flat and just wish you could start over, a fresh and somewhere else new?
It seems that a lot of the comments here are to just make life what you want it to be. When I think about that, it just doesn't seem to be that easy...

I can relate a little. I spent my junior year abroad in the UK and pine for those days. Also, I live 500 miles from where I grew up and miss that city. When my wife and I visit her native Holland I get so inspired and invigorated like you describe, only to have that feeling fade when Im back in my tired routine. If you cant relocate permanently you can always plan for long vacations in the US. Maybe you can even buy into a time share or a small condo or cabin or mobile home and have a permanent retreat. Maybe there is middle ground for you. One of my wife's friends keeps a camper van out west in California somewhere for extended stays.

 

[Tony Stark]

I can relate a little. I spent my junior year abroad in the UK and pine for those days. Also, I live 500 miles from where I grew up and miss that city. When my wife and I visit her native Holland I get so inspired and invigorated like you describe, only to have that feeling fade when Im back in my tired routine. If you cant relocate permanently you can always plan for long vacations in the US. Maybe you can even buy into a time share or a small condo or cabin or mobile home and have a permanent retreat. Maybe there is middle ground for you. One of my wife's friends keeps a camper van out west in California somewhere for extended stays.

I do try and get back to the US as often as I can, but my wife seems to get a bit dirty about me doing this. I reply to her with "well, I gave up the Country for you, so it is reasonable for me to want to go back frequently". I don't tend to feel resentful or angry, until she gets a bit dirty about "another trip".

 

[Tony Stark]

Currently, I am trying to make the most of life here, but it always seems to be in the shadow of the US and it is definitely second best living for me. Probably sounds selfish thinking to some...
Most things in my life seem to be measured with a US yard stick... Sometimes I just wish we never went to the US and that way I would never know what I was missing.... But at the same time, a lot of wonderful things came from us living there.

 

[bèlla]

Yearning to live out life in another place is hard. What does it mean when you yearn for something and it just does not seem a possibility?

I have two points to share. Overall, it sounds like the issue is purpose. Knowing your mission from God frames your life in a new way. Ask Him why you’re here and the Kingdom work He’s assigned. Your wife should do the same.

You will frequently hear me mention joy and peace in my posts. That’s the reason why. I know my purpose and devote myself wholly to its fulfillment. It has changed the trajectory of my life and given me a zeal that never wanes.

As for the longing, I’ll share my story. I grew up watching PBS. That meant Sesame Street and Julia Child. I adored her and loved everything French and the English countryside. I was drawn to the East Coast too. I don’t know why. But it started in middle school.

Everything I mentioned remained with me throughout my life. The place that I was drawn to as a child in the U.S. I visited on several occasions. And spent time in a monastery too. They confirmed my calling and the connection I felt with the state. I’ll end up there when I’ve finished training and I’m ready to settle down.

I didn’t forget about France and England. He knew the desires of my heart and was working behind the scenes to take me there. Not as a tourist. We’re talking about God and when He does something. He really shows out!

My calling requires training and the best options for me are overseas. And ironically both programs are world renowned. I couldn’t ask for a better opportunity and the costs are equal. I’d spend the same in the US.

The modest time I had in mind for each was nothing in comparison to what He put in place. I’m looking at 5 years or more. Only God could weave a tapestry of this kind.

And the subjects I’m studying were the very ones I adored in my youth. There are no coincidences in our makeup. All that was dear to me He’s made use of.

Your desire may not be of your making. I wanted to take culinary classes. Done. I wanted to be self-employed. Done. I wanted to retire from the workforce before 40. Done.

And I’m free to work for Him. In progress.

But all of this comes at a cost. I’m not married and I won’t have more children. But I have peace and joy nonetheless. I’m living out His will and I know He’ll take care of the suitor when I’m ready.

Delayed gratification is an important trait that all believers should possess. Not today doesn’t mean not ever. If He’s making preparations on your behalf you’ll want to move in alignment with His timing not your own.

Don’t despair or throw in the towel. Pour out your heart and fast until you receive an answer. That would do wonders for you both and move you from the funk you’re experiencing.

It has taken time for me to reach this point. But today I laugh like Sarah and marvel at the Isaac He’s bringing forth.

Remember, the end of a matter is better than its beginning. Don’t lose heart.

 

[Tony Stark]

Not sure what our mission is. We have been so badly burned by Churches over the years, so I think we are still healing from some of those very traumatic experiences. Maybe it is time we started asking God what is going on?
Wife has not been happy with our life for a long while now. I guess she feels that there is no direction, no adventure and nothing much going on. Sometimes it is obvious that it all gets her down a lot, but I am not sure what I can do about this. I am going to force myself to get more into bush walking and outdoor stuff to satisfy her need for this. Other than that, she seems to want to sell our house for the sake of change. I think she is searching for some adventure. She is an extrovert, but has encountered some very bad experiences with friendships (terrible, terrible stuff) and she now has no joy in making friends. But the conundrum for her is that she is an extrovert and she needs friends.
Today I just felt like I wanted to pack up and head back to the US. Feelings that were quite strong and depressing. I have to really work hard and distract myself from them. Always just seems to be something that drags along behind me.
My wife has said that it would be great if God brought something along and it was so clear and obvious to us, but I am doubtful that He works like this...

 

[mama2one]

it seems your wife wants a change as do you
do you think counselling might work for you both?
to talk things out and get to the root of the problem?

 

[mama2one]

hoping you and your wife will find your answer

 

[Tony Stark]

it seems your wife wants a change as do you
do you think counselling might work for you both?
to talk things out and get to the root of the problem?

I am beginning to wonder more and more about counselling...