Leaving Bub with others...

[Neenie1]

As far as overnight goes - ds has been left overnight (in our home with MIL) at around 3, I was wanting a nice romantic time with dh before baby no. 2 arrived. Then of course he was left with Grandma and grandpa (again in our home) when I had dd. That's it. (ds is 6 1/2)

Dd, (3) has never ever been left overnight and I can't imagine doing that. I don't think we've really had much time away from the kids this year. We had one time (during the day) where we went to the movies and had coffee but that's it.

As babies, ds was left with MIL at 4 months (1st wedding anniversary - don't do the math lol) I can't remember when I left dd, we had all sorts of issues with MIL and I didn't want to ask her to take her, and then there was other stuff going on.

We are definitely not the sort of family that has "date night" every month or whatever. Sure I think it's a great idea, but it's just not that easy for us to organise babysitters. My kids are great kids and while they are not angels they are reasonably well behaved to the point that they will go to bed at a reasonable time without much of a fight (this is probably their age as well, normally they are both asleep by 8:30pm) then dh and I have our time, we might hire a movie and have some yummy snacks etc. I don't feel that our relationship suffers because we don't go out all the time.

I will also say that I refuse to believe my children are insecure because I haven't left them overnight or with regular babysitters. Ds goes to school and does pretty well at school, or if I need to leave him with close friends for a play date (I don't leave him at anyone's house for play date unless I know them well) Dd happily goes to kids church and also seems well adjusted. I don't get why people feel they have to leave their kids overnight. I just don't understand that at all.

 

[Jilly123]

I didn't know I would need to "defend" our choice not to do overnights until the kids are old enough to ask for it. Its absolutely right for us.

No, you shouldn't need to defend your choice...at least not to the parents on this board, I think everybody here agrees that parents need to do whatever is right for them.

It works both ways in the real world though. I have definitely feel like I have needed to defend my choice to let my 2 year old go to her grandparents overnight (not on this board, just in general)...I often feel like people are judging me as a bad mother because I value my time alone and have allowed her to stay overnight from very young.

Isn't it a pity that no matter what choices we as parents make, we'll end up being judged by others? I know I am guilty of it too, I have to keep reminding myself not to judge other's people's parenting choices.

 

[jgonz]

I didn't leave any of my kids overnight with their Grama until they were at least 4~ and then it was at least 2 kids at a time because they were nervous about being at her house by themselves. And none of them have been at her house more than a couple of times. The youngest kids have never slept over at her house.

My oldest kids babysit my younger kids... I've never had an "outside" babysitter.

I have left my newest baby (now 2 mos) at home while I went grocery shopping or do other errands, but I've left him with my teens.

 

[jennyren]

I have never left my kids with anyone except grandma, other close relatives, or the daycare/preschool that they attend.

With grandma, at least six weeks for daytime and 18 months for overnight.

It just occurred to me that my kids will, one day, be invited to a sleepover. Yikes.