Learning to "take" teasing

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Genuine teasing bes light hearted and fun for ALL involved -- you cannot miss it, and it would not wound thin skin (Moriah knows, having thin skin itself). Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. If someone flings a cruel toxic barb at you and tries to laugh it off with "only JOKING GEEEZ" leaving YOU holding the blame for presumably being too mudstick to break a smile, that bes absolute bullroar on their part and YOU have done nothing wrong. NOTHING. THEY have mistreated you and made it worse by attempting to make you look and feel guilty over it. Classic typical hairless monkey human crap but nevertheless, SHAME on them!! Moriah calls this "fig leafing".

Give the meanies something else to latch onto, and that way they cannot touch you. Either put forth something prominent that you secretly take great pride in -- thus every time they mention it in ANY way it bes major ego stroking because they "notice" you -- or barring/failing that, pick something totally stupid for them to dig their harpies' claws into. One of the nice things about Moriah's "inner voice" writing habits (speaking in the third person, using "bes", conjugating verbs whimsically, etc.) bes it provides an automatic arsebiscuit filter AND scratching post for harpies all in one. The bullyharpies can have a field day ripping up its GRAMMAR and never have time to get to anything that matters, while the filter operates to expose anyone not worth wasting time on. Hypocrite filters can be very useful when navigating deep waters rumoured to contain sharks and more than one toxic waste dump ...

to you

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

^^Hmmmm, very useful information there. I thank it.

 

[Mling]

Genuine teasing bes light hearted and fun for ALL involved -- you cannot miss it, and it would not wound thin skin (Moriah knows, having thin skin itself). Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. If someone flings a cruel toxic barb at you and tries to laugh it off with "only JOKING GEEEZ" leaving YOU holding the blame for presumably being too mudstick to break a smile, that bes absolute bullroar on their part and YOU have done nothing wrong. NOTHING. THEY have mistreated you and made it worse by attempting to make you look and feel guilty over it. Classic typical hairless monkey human crap but nevertheless, SHAME on them!! Moriah calls this "fig leafing".

Give the meanies something else to latch onto, and that way they cannot touch you. Either put forth something prominent that you secretly take great pride in -- thus every time they mention it in ANY way it bes major ego stroking because they "notice" you -- or barring/failing that, pick something totally stupid for them to dig their harpies' claws into. One of the nice things about Moriah's "inner voice" writing habits (speaking in the third person, using "bes", conjugating verbs whimsically, etc.) bes it provides an automatic arsebiscuit filter AND scratching post for harpies all in one. The bullyharpies can have a field day ripping up its GRAMMAR and never have time to get to anything that matters, while the filter operates to expose anyone not worth wasting time on. Hypocrite filters can be very useful when navigating deep waters rumoured to contain sharks and more than one toxic waste dump ...

to you

Ah, I've been wondering for a while why you do that...never found a thread where it was on-topic to ask. Thanks!

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Genuine teasing bes light hearted and fun for ALL involved -- you cannot miss it, and it would not wound thin skin (Moriah knows, having thin skin itself). Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. If someone flings a cruel toxic barb at you and tries to laugh it off with "only JOKING GEEEZ" leaving YOU holding the blame for presumably being too mudstick to break a smile, that bes absolute bullroar on their part and YOU have done nothing wrong. NOTHING. THEY have mistreated you and made it worse by attempting to make you look and feel guilty over it. Classic typical hairless monkey human crap but nevertheless, SHAME on them!! Moriah calls this "fig leafing".

Give the meanies something else to latch onto, and that way they cannot touch you. Either put forth something prominent that you secretly take great pride in -- thus every time they mention it in ANY way it bes major ego stroking because they "notice" you -- or barring/failing that, pick something totally stupid for them to dig their harpies' claws into. One of the nice things about Moriah's "inner voice" writing habits (speaking in the third person, using "bes", conjugating verbs whimsically, etc.) bes it provides an automatic arsebiscuit filter AND scratching post for harpies all in one. The bullyharpies can have a field day ripping up its GRAMMAR and never have time to get to anything that matters, while the filter operates to expose anyone not worth wasting time on. Hypocrite filters can be very useful when navigating deep waters rumoured to contain sharks and more than one toxic waste dump ...

to you
__________

QFT

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Ah, I've been wondering for a while why you do that...never found a thread where it was on-topic to ask. Thanks!

Mind you, that bes not the REASON ... merely a very convenient perk in the package.

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

^^Hmmmm, very useful information there. I thank it.

It sez you bes welcome.

 

[ForAMomentIWillFly]

Teasing is not fun. I have learned to hide the hurt, that's all I have learned.

 

[Crazy Liz]

But what if the joke is really a light joke but the person because of years of abuses doesn't know that? Is that still abuse or is that the person seeing everything light or heavy through the filter of their personal experience?

LBF, I don't have any advice on this I hope that you can someday come to a place of healing and overcome you past.

If you ask them to stop that kind of teasing and they justify themselves, rather than apologizing & stopping, then it is abuse whether they realize it or not.

 

[Crazy Liz]

Hi LBF!

Good questions!

Here's a bit of advice I learned from a fellow piano teacher. Whenever she heard words that were not "becoming of little angels," she had a great response.

"Escuse me?"

She'd bellow these words, sometimes at the top of her lungs.

You've never seen somebody recant so quickly in your life! These little words do an awesome job. The force the offender into having to either defend their words or recant.

Now, the "Just teasing" excuse is like lying and then saying you were kidding.

If that's the best defense anyone can offer, they're in big trouble.

"Do I look like I want to be teased?" is the perfect reply. Again, a loud voice carries a lot of weight at this moment.

People will get the hang of this pretty quickly. If they tease you (or verbally abuse you), they will get sick of you calling them on it really quickly.

Please, try it out!

And don't be afraid to raise your voice!!!

Also, we love you LBF! I hope nobody here is giving you any grief!

Your a wonderful gal~

I like that.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Teasing is not fun. I have learned to hide the hurt, that's all I have learned.

That's not a very comfortable spot to be in.

I'm still working on sorting out what was abuse, in my childhood, from what was only a mistake, and from what may not have felt pleasant but still wasn't abuse. And I'm also having trouble separating verbal abuse from teasing. My grandfather (who raised me for part of my childhood, and was therefore a major influence) was one who would zing you a good one, but then when you turned it around on him, he'd be quick-as-a-snap to take offense. "Well, *I* was only teasing, but *you* got too personal!" So as far as I could tell, the difference between teasing and making a hurtful remark was a matter of who was doing it to whom.