Landover Baptist

[praying]

Are they a real church? I am dumbfounded after stumbling onto their website. That site is a joke right please tell me it is a joke.

the title of an article there.

excerpt
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0500/femsoul.html

Landover Baptist Creation Scientist, Dr. Fred Neiman, announced findings related to his research into the female soul early this week. "The absence of either salvation or condemnation for women finds extensive support in the Word of God." He reported. "Jesus said that the sole reason God created women in the first place was to provide company and service to men (1 Corinthians 11:9), God determined that men would be lonely living alone, so he created women purely to keep men company and serve their needs (Genesis 2:18-22). Women are therefore completely subordinate to men (1 Corinthians 11:3). It stands to reason, though, that once men enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they will be one with God, and will no longer be lonely and in need of mortal companionship. Thus, the reason behind having women will no longer exist. Women, like the members of the animal kingdom, will fall by the wayside."

Dr. Neiman went on to say that, "once men reunite with their maker, they will no longer be burdened with the care of women.

Please tell this stuff is fake.

 

[Chi_Cygni]

mhatten, I am surprised at you. Landover baptist is a great parody site. Often crops up in surveys of the funniest sites on the web. Check out the Playstation give away or the Red Bull article.

 

[praying]

Okay good I thought but I wasn't sure. You never know. People can be crazy!

 

[Ave Maria]

No, Landover Baptist is not real. It's a parody.

 

[Chi_Cygni]

Okay good I thought but I wasn't sure. You never know. People can be crazy!

That is why it is such a great joke. Because we know how crazy some groups can get.

 

[daidhaid]

Last time I was there they had a great offer.
If you got saved they would give you a free cell phone.
Leno featured it in his monologe last night.

cell phone offer.

some funny stuff.

 

[Law of Loud]

I recently found my way over to http://objective.jesussave.us/index.html, and I have found that it is a fairly well done satire of that very same thing, except it is extremely subtle, and a lot of people, perhaps the majority, never figure out that the entire website is a joke.

Check this out then.

http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html

Scroll down to the goat, and click on him a bunch.
Mr. Gruff, the Atheist Goat: "Hey kid, wanna read some Ayn Rand?"

More Proof:

The source of the document: Where it normally says the program that generates it:
****** name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">

Oh, the Creation Science Fun Facts, too: "My friend Bomby the bombadier beetle can shoot boiling-hot toxic chemicals out of his butt. Why?""God gave your friend that ability for defense against evil and as a testament against the false doctrine of Evolutionism!"

Learn more about the kangaroos of the Middle East atOBJECTIVE: Creation Education: Kangaroos

The "Baby Jesus" that cries.

The God flag

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking" Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Seriously, though, it really seems like just a really convincing illusion, and the fact that it's so believable makes the fundamentalists go "I agree with him kind of, although he's a bit overboard," and link everyone to it, making THEM look stupid too.

 

[Chi_Cygni]

I believe it is run by the landover people.

 

[Law of Loud]

They do have a campaign to shut down Landover going on at jesussave.us... but it is a parody with the rest of the site. Hah!

Has anybody ever visited http://www.georgewbush.org/ ? It's a pretty great site.

 

[Chi_Cygni]

How can you not love a website with Hopsia the Kanga-Jew. ROTFLMAO.

 

[Law of Loud]

How can you not love a website with Hopsia the Kanga-Jew. ROTFLMAO.

How can you not love it even more when you get Fundamentalist Christians who are sitting at their computer screens shouting "Right on man!" (Texas accent) or "Amen!" (Southern Fundy accent).

 

[JPPT1974]

People can be crazy. That is the reason that God made all of us different. If we were all the same we would all be like Stepford wives.

 

[brewmama]

I think that's enough fundamentalist bashing, this thread is closed