Ladies who won't date men who drink, even on occasion

[ThisIsMe123]

Seriously? Wow. I've seen a lot of nonsense in my life, but this post takes the cake. Hasn't learned to endure? Every day is learning to endure when you endure a traumatic experience. My dad passed awhile ago. It messed me up for a long time and I'm healthier now than I've been in a long time.

But, today is my dad's birthday and I'm really struggling today. I'll probably always struggle today, and on Halloween, the day he died. It's not something you ever just forget about. Ever. Give people a break. You seem like you're the one with crazy, irrational standards.

My dad died just only a few years ago. People mourn in different ways, but it gets easier each year though, at least for me and my mom. I thought it was nicely orchestrated.

For one, his health was poor as it was and he was suffering. So I felt when God took him, I was comforted in knowing it was his time to go as the writing was on the wall.

But I took great joy in feeling that God had told me everything is going to be okay. Each year it does get easier though, but I have my moments where I just enjoy myself, talking to him from time to time when it comes around the time of Christmas or his birthday. It somehow wound up being a positive experience.

2. If a couple (married, dating, or just friends) have issues over calling something like a drink a dealbreaker, how much more problems are they going to struggle with in the deeper areas of life and decisions.

Exactly...

The purpose of God in our lives is to pray to him in hopes that we can endure the through rough patches in life. If it's still impacting you, you may want to go to a grieving support group or just find a friend to talk to about it.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

She's not for you. Focus your energy and time on finding someone who IS compatible and open to you as a mate if you wish to marry.

Yes, I will indeed. Maybe Christina Hendrix? lol j/k

 

[Elliewaves]

I think she's married.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Eh, this is the crux of the matter. She doesn't "need" to loosen her standards or lighten up, as you told her. She doesn't need to do anything. She doesn't owe it to anyone to view them as a potential boyfriend, and she doesn't have to back up that rejection with a logical explanation in order for it to be acceptable.

She knows herself, and she knows how she wants to live. She's aware of the effect that this particular standard could have on her odds of finding someone, and she's ok with that. We all have the right to restrict our dating pool however we want.

This.

And even if it is the PTSD talking, that should be respected. PTSD is a real and serious thing and perhaps even harder to overcome.

 

[blackribbon]

Why does it matter to you if certain women have the standard of teetotaling as a limit in their dating lives? Are these women crying on your shoulder because they are desperate for a date? If not, let them have their standards where ever they may be.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I personally don't drink and there is certainly no denying how difficult it is to find someone who is like-minded on the subject nowadays. Even those who are professing Christians. So yeah, you will definitely be limiting yourself if you firmly stand your ground on this issue and refuse to ever date anyone who even so much as drinks a beer or glass of wine on occasion.

Anyway, as someone who comes from a family that has been plagued by alcoholism for several generations, and whose own father was an alcoholic (before I was born and he is now sober), I can absolutely understand and respect anyone's decision to refrain from dating someone who drinks regularly.

 

[Reformed2]

I don't think Christians are supposed to drink alcohol either (there is TONS of scripture to support this). However it's a very divisive topic on this message board and leads to much debate and even anger.

 

[Saucy]

I don't think Christians are supposed to drink alcohol either (there is TONS of scripture to support this). However it's a very divisive topic on this message board and leads to much debate and even anger.

Name one.

 

[Reformed2]

Name one.

Here we go. Ephesians 5:18. We're allowed to drink it for medicinal purposes; in 2017 Christians drink alcohol to get a buzz. It's a no-no.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Here we go. Ephesians 5:18.

ok you changed it.

still not a prohibition against moderate drinking.

 

[MehGuy]

Seems like the Bible forbids drunkards. Which I'd think was more akin to "alcoholics". I have no idea why getting drunk by itself in inherently a bad thing. As long as you're able to control yourself.

 

[Saucy]

i'm thinking this wasn't what you were looking for.

lol yeah. That says not to be drunk. It doesn't say not to have a drink. Drunk=/=a single drink.

 

[Reformed2]

ok you changed it.

still not a prohibition against moderate drinking.

It astonishes me how liberal we Christians are on alcohol. Nothing in scripture about self gratification or premarital sex, yet we universally comprehend that it is sinful. Way more to support alcohol is sinful for Christians yet we hold it up to a much higher standard for alcohol. If the Holy Spirit doesn't convict you on it then so be it, but scripture says it is unwise in Proverbs and being a drunkard is clearly a sin.

 

[Reformed2]

1 Peter 5:8. How can we be sober with a beer or two under our belt? We either take spiritual warfare seriously or we do not.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

It astonishes me how liberal we Christians are on alcohol. Nothing in scripture about self gratification or premarital sex, yet we universally comprehend that it is sinful. Way more to support alcohol is sinful for Christians yet we hold it up to a much higher standard for alcohol. If the Holy Spirit doesn't convict you on it then so be it, but scripture says it is unwise in Proverbs and being a drunkard is clearly a sin.

occasional moderate drinking doesn't get you drunk or make you a drunkard.

 

[High Fidelity]

Well, my frustration stems on the fact that I want a Christian woman, but yet...if they have very stringent standards like this, I may consider a Christian woman that isn't so irrational in what they seek.

I'm not seeing the problem.

This woman's opinion is not indicative of a majority or even wide-spread agreement. Most folks that are totally against drinking either on a personal level have experience with alcoholism first-hand or second-hand with family, or on a spiritual level they're theologically legalistic. If it's the former, well, sorry but that's her prerogative and if that's what she wants then I guess you're out of luck. If it's the latter, again, that's her prerogative and theological differences aren't to be taken likely, especially as what would be the husband considering the husband's role of leadership, it'd be an incredible strain on the marriage.

TLDR: Sometimes personal/theological beliefs render people incompatible. That's life. I just don't understand why it seems like a laboured decision when it seems this isn't something you're that invested in and can just walk away from.

 

[blackribbon]

Christ both made and drank wine. In fact, it was his very first miracle.

We are not to do anything in excess and to stay in our right minds. I can drink one glass of wine with my dinner and have no problem with drunkenness or even being tipsy. It is more sinful to overeat at that same meal because then we get into gluttony.

Alcohol also does have a place in health in that it vasodilates blood vessels (good for the heart) and an offer anesthesia or pain relief when necessary. It also is a fine disinfectant.

 

[Reformed2]

Christ both made and drank wine. In fact, it was his very first miracle.

We are not to do anything in excess and to stay in our right minds. I can drink one glass of wine with my dinner and have no problem with drunkenness or even being tipsy. It is more sinful to overeat at that same meal because then we get into gluttony.

Alcohol also does have a place in health in that it vasodilates blood vessels (good for the heart) and an offer anesthesia or pain relief when necessary. It also is a fine disinfectant.

Christ turned water into wine before His resurrection. We live post crucifixion and we are called to be sober.

 

[blackribbon]

Christ turned water into wine before His resurrection. We live post crucifixion and we are called to be sober.

One drink does not intoxicate me.

Did the Apostles suddenly stop drinking wine because Jesus died?

 

[High Fidelity]

Christ turned water into wine before His resurrection. We live post crucifixion and we are called to be sober.

Where in Scripture does it say that?

Drunkenness is a sin, not drinking.

You're equating a slap to attempted murder.