Just wondering..

[itronmonkey]

Hi, I'm new here... And I don't know whether this is actually a question or not. What I'm about to say may contain questions, but... I don't think it's actually one big question. What I'm about to say is very hard for me, and I need you guys to not think I'm flaming, or trolling, or anything like that, because it's the honest truth.



I live in Australia, I'm 18, and I'm female. I'm currently attending University, and I've been to Christian private schools my whole life. I was taught to believe in God since I was 4 years old. Except, when I was 9, I just... stopped. My friends stopped believing, and suddenly it was the "cool" thing to renounce God or something, so I stopped believing. I was never baptized, or had a reconciliation or communion, or confirmation because my family didn't believe in it, but I believed in God for those 5 years. I still attended church when I had to, my school conducted morning prayer every morning, and I would participate because it was expected. But out of school, I would just... I suppose it's called blasphemy. Refuse to acknowledge God's existence, say none of the bible was real...



Then when I was 14, I believed myself to be a homosexual. I still do - but I don't want to. I know that the bible says homosexuality is a sin (although I've heard from some Christians that the act of homosexuality is a sin, not the sexuality... but I digress). I've never done anything beyond kissing another girl (Or a guy). I don't know if I have the courage to go into a church. I know my friends would pretty much ostracize me. I don't know if I'd even be wanted in a church. But I kind of had to write this here... Had to get someone's opinion. So... any opinions would be greatly, greatly appreciated.



Thanks for reading. =)

 

[Bevlina]

Hi, I'm new here... And I don't know whether this is actually a question or not. What I'm about to say may contain questions, but... I don't think it's actually one big question. What I'm about to say is very hard for me, and I need you guys to not think I'm flaming, or trolling, or anything like that, because it's the honest truth.



I live in Australia, I'm 18, and I'm female. I'm currently attending University, and I've been to Christian private schools my whole life. I was taught to believe in God since I was 4 years old. Except, when I was 9, I just... stopped. My friends stopped believing, and suddenly it was the "cool" thing to renounce God or something, so I stopped believing. I was never baptized, or had a reconciliation or communion, or confirmation because my family didn't believe in it, but I believed in God for those 5 years. I still attended church when I had to, my school conducted morning prayer every morning, and I would participate because it was expected. But out of school, I would just... I suppose it's called blasphemy. Refuse to acknowledge God's existence, say none of the bible was real...



Then when I was 14, I believed myself to be a homosexual. I still do - but I don't want to. I know that the bible says homosexuality is a sin (although I've heard from some Christians that the act of homosexuality is a sin, not the sexuality... but I digress). I've never done anything beyond kissing another girl (Or a guy). I don't know if I have the courage to go into a church. I know my friends would pretty much ostracize me. I don't know if I'd even be wanted in a church. But I kind of had to write this here... Had to get someone's opinion. So... any opinions would be greatly, greatly appreciated.



Thanks for reading. =)

Honey... when a girl is 14 she is going through alot of hormonal changing. I don't believe for a second that you are a homosexual.This is a stage you are going through. And, you DO have the courage to go into a church because, no matter what, God loves you and you are welcome back in His arms. Does it really matter if your 'cool' friends ostracised you when you would have new friends?
You have said you stopped believing in God because it was a 'cool' thing to renounce Him. But, have you REALLY renouced him in heart? You see, God searches the heart.

 

[Asar'el]

Everyone's spirituality is a matter of supreme importance (imho) to themselves; I believe it is very important, considering that eternity (again, my belief) is involved, that you decide what you believe for yourself, not because a teacher tells you 'yes', or a friend says it is cool to say 'no'.

Sounds to me that you might listen to much to what others say ... but, if I had to take a guess, I'd say God has spoken to you, and you haven't left quite as far as you think you have.

I agree also that 14 is not quite as mature as 14 thinks it is you have (God willing), plenty of time to learn more about yourself, and sexuality - it is commendable that you have avoided the more 'usual' encounters of teenagers your age; and well done to you indeed!

Now, regarding going back to church - I cannot say that your apprehension is misplaced, nor tell you how your friends, or a particular church might react to your return (you said you attended church before, correct? when did you stop?); I can, however, say that any Christian church would be glad to see you attend services, no matter what your past; God's message is timeless, and eternal; remember the thief on the cross - saved, as the saying goes, in the 11th hour. And if your current friends (the ones that think it's 'cool' to reject God) should ostracize you for returning, I am certain God can make up for your loss (which would be, in truth, your friend's loss! ) - and you stand to gain better friends, and more true, in God's house.

In any case, if you should find your way back to the fold, I can at least guarantee you'll find friends right here on this board - and you're way on your way already

Here's praying for you! - and hoping to hear from you again, soon.

 

[itronmonkey]

Thank you for your support =)

Asar'el - I went to church all through my schooling years, but only for school. I never went for Sunday morning masses, or Christmas masses or anything, because my family didn't go, and I couldn't find anyone to go with.

I think if I were to go back, I'd go to a different church. I've always thought belief is a wonderful thing for a person to have, and wished a had some (beliefs) of my own. I'd like to make a start on getting there... Would I just walk into a church and... I don't know. Talk to the priest?

 

[Bevlina]

If you are a catholic honey - yes indeed talk to a Priest! Have a little heart to heart with him. He might ask you to have a chat to one of the nun's. And that's terrific! All the better as sometimes it's easier to talk to a woman about these things.
But, if I were you, I'd say go back to the church you were brought up in. Don't look for a new church. Believe me - God is everywhere. You can talk to a Minister of another church though! I take it you are a Catholic? The reason I ask is because you mention mass.
And - to be honest - I don't believe you are a pagan and that you have renounced God. I am more inclined to think you just did the 'in' thing and went with the flow of your friends.

 

[Sketcher]

If you want to come back to God, He will always take you back. That's a promise He made to us in John 6:37.

I'm praying for you.

 

[awen]

Monkey,

You're always, always welcome in a church. If a church makes you feel unwelcome, then... it's not even worth your time. Jesus said that whenever we accept someone in His name, we are accepting the Lord Himself - so any church that rejects an honest seeker, rejects Christ.

You know what, life throws all kinds of unusual things our way. That's just the way it is - particularly in this day and age. You mentioned you're aware of what God's view is on homosexuality, and you're right - He's very clear on the subject. Obviously you've been confronted by it yourself, if you were brave enough to bring it up in here. That's the first step toward God - recognising your own sinfulness, the fact that you fall so far short of what God requires - the second is stepping out in faith to find and receive Christ.

My advice to you is... well, two things. First, get hold of a Bible and read. Start with the book of Luke, then John, then Romans. Those three books will give you the basics of Christianity, and help you begin again at the beginning. The second thing you should do is seek a church that teaches the Bible - not one that teaches tradition, or hype, or praise and worship, or fundamentalism. Find a church that teaches, on the very first day you enter, those things you read in Luke, John and Romans.

One thing you could do is go into one of the regional forums and see if anyone knows of good churches in your area (wherever that is). In all honesty, and I don't mean to bring this to you as a point of contention, but it must be said...
I'd steer clear of the Catholic church. The reason I say this is simple. When you read Luke and John in particular, you'll notice the simplicity of Christ. What I mean by this is the fact that Christ's teachings, and his life, were entirely free from ritual and tradition, ruled by freedom in the Truth. Christ came to free us from the ritualistic demands of the law, to subject us instead to grace, which is a freely received gift, apart from works. The Catholic church, on the other hand, subjects its followers to ritual, to sacrament, to tradition and law. These things are the hallmarks of the old covenant, and stem from man's influence, not Christ's.

If you seek freedom from your past, freedom to live a future of peace and truth, look no further than Christ. You will find freedom in His blood, shed on the cross for you. No amount of ritual, tradition and law can cleanse the heart of man. Only Christ can.

I realise that is a lot to throw at you, especially when you're only now beginning to seek Him... however, as you learn of Him again, you'll come to understand that Christ came to bring freedom and truth, not the binding, enslaving traditions of man.

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. I'm around fairly often, and I'd love to hear from you.

Ben.

 

[Sun_flwer]

When we submit to God and surrender our lives to Him He changes us. The change is on the inside. He changes our desires and what we want. This change is called being Born Again. It's then not a matter of making ourselves go to church or do things we know we should. We now have the desire to please God in all we do and God gives us thr grace to do it.

If you are struggling with sexual sin God wil give you the grace and strength to obey His word in this area if you let Him. I know this because i was living in sexual sin before i became born again and God gave me the grace to turn from this sin and to live right before Him.

 

[Emmy]

Dear itronmonkey,you had some very good replies dear,may I repeat one or two of them? God loves us,all of us,He knows our weaknesses,as well as our strenght.Jesus came to earth to save sinners,we are all sinners,but God sees us as we will be,Jesus died,that we might live.The moment you accept Jesus as your Saviour,and repent of what you once were,or did,you are forgiven.Tell Jesus what you told us,and leave your past at His Feet,don`t pick it up again.Let His Joy fill your whole being.Always remember;God loves you.Sincere greetings from Emmy,a sister in Christ.

 

[Silent Enigma]

Well monkey, a turning point for me in coming to the knowledge of a Creator God was the realization that life and its subsequent complexity can't arise on its own. You need to look into that seriously before you can be convicted on other spiritual matters.

This business of deciding whether you believe God exists is irrelevant. You need to come to the knowledge that the Creator God exists, and then other matters of faith have some solid ground to stand on. How one feels is of no use.

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that mena re without excuse." Romans 1:20

In my own journey from athiesm to Christianity I found that to be true.

That would be the starting point. Beyond that I'd recommend "The Case for Christ" by Lee Stroebel. It's actually written in such a way that a person wants to read it, unlike some of the really dry apologetics books I keep coming across.

God bless. I've prayed for you.

 

[Bain_Adaneth]

ItronMonkey,
Don't let your sin keep you from asking for forgiveness! Ask now, mean it, and it shall be given to you. Don't think that God won't accept you anymore, he wants you to come back to Him. He wants to forgive you. But how can you get it if you don't mean it, or if you don't ask. Yes God doesn't like it when men or women burn with lust for the same gender. It's a sin to think sexually about a man that you're not married to. Don't think that it's not common, but I know it is. A lot of people have had sexual thoughts about people of the same gender. When this happens, you have to stop yourself and rebuke this thought. But when you actually do it, it's harder to stop. I think there's a difference between thinking about killing, and actually doing it. When you think about something bad, don't ponder on it, and don't allow yourself to start wanting what you're thinking about. Stay away from things that encourages you to be homosexual. Tell God, " Lord, I want my body to be clean for you." And remember that everything you do, God knows. Who cares about what people think, as long as you're doing it for God. They're not going to save you from God's judgement. Everyone is responsible for their own sin. Go to church! How long are you planning to stay away? It's not like people there has not sinned. We're not perfect, only God is. Take steps to fix your walk with Jesus Christ. Pray! You can say, "Father, you now my heart, I'm sorry for all I've done against you, help me to be a holy person in your eyes, help me to be like Jesus, in Jesus' name, Amen. And go sin no more. Remember that you have no excuse for not asking God for forgiveness. On the day of your judgement when God asks you about why you didn't ask for forgiveness, you can't say that you were afraid that He wouldn't forgive you or etc....Just don't pray because you have to, do it because you want to. It's your relationship with your Father. Talk to Him about problems you're having, He's listening. He is merciful...Find out why you should go to Church. Read the bible in order to understand who God is, and His love for us. Don't reject God, because when you are being judge and find out that He really does exist, oh what sorrow and fear would come to you. I'm not saying this to be mean, but this is how I felt when I really came to know God. I thought about how shock I would have been if I rejected God and if He did exist and was judging me. But now I no longer have that fear because I know Him. He is our Father and He loves us. Itronmonkey, I hope this helps you. Thankyou for asking these questions. I know that God is happy that you are searching for answers. I'll be praying. you can private message me if you need to talk to someone.....

 

[Fexx-Saved]

I think that they'd let u go to the church - christians are generaly friendly.