I'm genuinely curious about people who share my life experiences as much as possible. It makes me feel better that I am not alone and hopefully we can connect and bond over those life experiences. For example, I'm 27 years old, but have never had any romantic attention, acceptance, or overall experience. It initially bothered me as a teenager, but not since I've turned 17 or 18. As a guy, I've always been intentional about the woman I pursue, meaning I have to have some form of emotional connection or friendship to actually be attracted to her and ask her out on a date. On the few occasions I've felt something and asked them out (mostly in college and post-college), I've always been rejected - except for the one girl who said yes, but changed her mind shortly after saying yes. And as a devout Christian, I've always felt there was no point in dating or "waking up love" (as Solomon puts it) until marriage is in the picture so I really don't feel all that hurt. So reframing my experiences and rejections that way, helps shift my perspective as me waiting for something or someone that's special in my and God's eyes; it's just a matter of waiting.
Over the past few years, I've become more convicted of my experiences and lifestyle of abstinence/purity/virginity/celibacy/etc to save myself for that special someone. In fact, now, I'm only attracted to women who haven't had any romantic experiences either. I don't watch porn, don't enjoy any crude sexual humor; some may even call me uptight or prudish or boring or devoid of any fun when compared to the status quo. I've also been relieved of the pressure of pursuing someone or seeing them "that" way as I'm not attracted most of the women in my environment because most of them my age would have engaged in romantic experiences no matter how small. No judgement for those who have had a past with romance in general, but I'm not attracted to them at all. I've spent years praying and blaming myself for feeling that way, but I'm just not attracted to them. I pray that God had put that conviction of desire in me. It makes watching movies or TV shows less relatable haha. I understand that my standards are rare and unique, but I don't think they are necessarily high when I'm looking for a wife. I suppose I just want someone special with relatively the same experiences so we can have something unique when we look back at our story. I've heard people say that God can transform anyone to be your special someone to make all of your desires come true as well as the past doesn't dictate who they will be in a partnership. But I feel like they are misinterpreting my desires for judgement/condemnation and think I am dismissing their value as a person and being unrealistic. I have to tell them that my attraction to someone's lack of experience is similar to my attraction of their physical appearance, just a bit deeper. I can't be attracted to everyone, right? I hope that my actions reflect my respect and whole-hearted desire for my future wife, if and when she gets to know me. Can anyone else resonate with my life experiences and personal convictions on dating for marriage? What are your thoughts?
Over the past few years, I've become more convicted of my experiences and lifestyle of abstinence/purity/virginity/celibacy/etc to save myself for that special someone. In fact, now, I'm only attracted to women who haven't had any romantic experiences either. I don't watch porn, don't enjoy any crude sexual humor; some may even call me uptight or prudish or boring or devoid of any fun when compared to the status quo. I've also been relieved of the pressure of pursuing someone or seeing them "that" way as I'm not attracted most of the women in my environment because most of them my age would have engaged in romantic experiences no matter how small. No judgement for those who have had a past with romance in general, but I'm not attracted to them at all. I've spent years praying and blaming myself for feeling that way, but I'm just not attracted to them. I pray that God had put that conviction of desire in me. It makes watching movies or TV shows less relatable haha. I understand that my standards are rare and unique, but I don't think they are necessarily high when I'm looking for a wife. I suppose I just want someone special with relatively the same experiences so we can have something unique when we look back at our story. I've heard people say that God can transform anyone to be your special someone to make all of your desires come true as well as the past doesn't dictate who they will be in a partnership. But I feel like they are misinterpreting my desires for judgement/condemnation and think I am dismissing their value as a person and being unrealistic. I have to tell them that my attraction to someone's lack of experience is similar to my attraction of their physical appearance, just a bit deeper. I can't be attracted to everyone, right? I hope that my actions reflect my respect and whole-hearted desire for my future wife, if and when she gets to know me. Can anyone else resonate with my life experiences and personal convictions on dating for marriage? What are your thoughts?
