I've got this friend...

[AnnieLupin4Jesus]

and recently she's been confiding in me. She's not a Christian, and she's your stereotypical punk skateboarding bad girl, though she's truly nice to me. All of her friends are similar types, though most are a year younger than her. She told me today that she's been getting into drugs recently (weed, meth, and "any pill I can get my hands on", plus "a lot" of alcohol and then cigarettes too), which doesn't surprise me; I would have been more surprised if she didn't do drugs. She says she tries to stop, but she can't. She got arrested 3 times this summer, all for skateboarding where she shouldn't be (a church roof, wrecking a bench with her wheels...). Her and her friends are out at all hours of the night skateboarding (they sneak out), and are always trying to talk their way out of more arrests for being out past city curfew. She told me she always steals things because she doesn't have any money. She said she'd "die" if her parents found out about the drugs and all that, and when I asked her, "Wouldn't they just want to help you?" she replied "No, my dad would beat my a** and my mom would scream her head off at me." I asked her if he beat her, and she said "Yeah, kinda," and then begged me not to tell anyone about any of it. I've never seen any evidence of her being beaten, which makes me suspicious because our gym lockers were right next to each other last semester and we changed next to each other every day along with about 7 other girls near us, but I have no reason to doubt her. I made her promise to think about getting help, but I doubt she'll actually do anything. She thinks she's better off dead, and while I don't think she's actually going to commit suicide, I don't think she's far off. She begged me not to tell anyone because "I don't want them to think I'm a major druggy person or anything." I told her if she kept going with all of this, it would eventually kill her, and she said "Ya, but like that's the point, do it and then you'll die."

I don't know what to do. Should I tell someone, or try to help her myself? And about her dad... help, please?

 

[wayfaring man]

Hi Annie ,

What would be most sensible to do is to follow the pattern of dealing with continuous bad behavior of another , which is presented in the Bible .

( See Matthew 18:15-20 )

If your friend has no Church affliation , see if she would go with you .

Just her going and being around others who are more upright may be enough to convince her , there's a better way to try to enjoy life , than pursuing illegal indulgences , and being self-destructive .

If this fails , and you've already tried to talk some sense into her yourself , for some time , then find another , who is of sound mind and arrange them to meet your friend and witness together to her about Jesus and God's love for sinners .

If she rejects the witness , don't be pushy , give some space and time for it to sink in . Continue to be warm , but show a little distance , don't give her alot of your attention while she is still rejecting the witness of Jesus .

If she's reachable by you and your companion , at this stage of her life , she will come to you expressing godly sorrow , and then you can continue to share with her about the tenets and joys of Christian faith .

If she shows no evidence of godly sorrow , after some forbearance , then redirect your attention towards someone who will respond positively to your witness .

( See Titus 3:10 for the general principle of dealing with those who reject our witness ).

But keep in mind that if at any time your friend should have a change of heart , and show fruit worthy of repentance ( i.e. godly sorrow ) ; then it's a whole new situation , and with The Lord's help you can move forward from there .

But beware , addicts are typically scammers too , and she may well pretend to be anything she thinks you want her to be in order to keep using / manipulating you and your good intentions .

As Jesus taught , the proof is in the fruit . ( See Matthew 7:15-20 )

Yet , if even with these precautions , she still manages to " burn " you , chalk it up to experience , and take the lesson learned and move forward , anger for a short time is okay , but don't stay angry , for that leads to bitterness , and a good tree cannot bear bitter fruit , and still be known as " good " .

May Jesus Be Pleased To Bless And Keep You For His Holy Name's Sake .

Amen .

wm

 

[helmikaarina]

Hi Annie. You worry about your friend and for a reason. She needs help, but may be it's not enough you can give. What I cannot understand how it can be that her parents don't know if she has been arrested and all... She has begged you not to tell anyone, but I suggest that you'll ask for advice from some adult you can trust. I think it would be easier to ponder together with someone face to face what to do. To whom do you speak if you have problems? Your parents, a teacher, a priest, your auntie...? If you feel that you betray her trust, you could say to her that she is so good friend you cannot just look by, but you have to do something.

What you can do in every case is to pray for her, her family, your friends, for yourself too. Leave all these questions to God and pray his presence in these situations to all of you and thank him for it. Bless you.

 

[fishstix]

a)Pray for her.

b) If you ever think that she really is being abused or if she ever confides in you that she is planning on killing or seriously harming herself, try to get her to come with you to tell an adult and if she won't, then you go and tell an adult right away. Even if she has told you not to. Also if you know she's planning on doing something criminal, go tell an adult - otherwise you could be in trouble too.

c) Make sure that her bad example doesn't start pulling you down. If it does or if she starts really pressuring you to do stuff you know you shouldn't then you may have to back off in your friendship with her.

d) Keep being a good example for her and try to convince her to talk with an adult such as the school counsellor or someone like that about her problems.