First, some background. In the past, I dated anyone I was attracted to, Christian or not (mostly not, if we're talking about someone who
really seemed to be concerned about God). This resulted in me marrying a spouse who used me and cheated on me - or so I and everyone else believes, based on her behavior.
My ex claimed to be a Christian, but there was no evidence of it until she met me and wanted to date/marry me. If I had been more cautious about accepting her word on her Christianity, I wouldn't be where I am today. So, from now on, I am
determined to only date women whose Christianity is obvious
before they meet me.
Which brings me to my thread's title: It will take a
miracle for me to find "Miss Right." Why? Consider all the variables :
- She has to be a genuine Christian. I have it on good authority that "Straight is the gate and narrow the way and
few go therein." So, we're probably ruling out 9 out of 10 women right off the bat.
- She has to be local (within 40 minutes, tops). I'm not looking for a long-distance romance. I'm looking for someone to put my arm around on the couch and watch TV with, to go on walks with, to go to church with, to work out with, etc. I think it's safe to say that 99.99999% of the Christian women in the world don't live within 40 minutes of me.
- I have to meet her. I go to a big church and you can go there for years without meeting 3/4 of the people. And even if I see a woman at church I am interested in meeting, it can take months to be in a situation where that meeting isn't weird and ham-fisted. Most of the time they are surrounded by people from the moment they enter church until the moment they are getting in their car.
- She must be looking for a man in my age range. I'm 54 and, even though people always assume I'm in my 40s (I'm in pretty good shape and don't really have any wrinkles), I've noticed women are
very hung up on the age issue after a certain age. Maybe they think,
"I can't be so old that I have to date a man in his 50s!"
- She has to find me attractive. Opinions vary.
- I have to find her attractive. I'm not someone who has to date the most beautiful woman possible (personality is more important than looks), but I have to be at least
somewhat attracted to her. And whether a woman is in fairly good shape is very important to me. If she's not, I'm just not attracted. Finding a fit, single woman over 40 or 50 is tough. When you do, you find that she is "spoiled for choice" (she has a ton of men pursuing her).
- Our personalities have to be compatible. I'm a pretty lighthearted guy most of the time. A woman who is always serious would
hate me. But I'm also a serious guy when it come to serious things (I'm an INTP or ENTP, depending on the test). A woman who believes talking about serious things is dumb or boring would hate me. Also, I dislike rude people ("straight talkers", as they often call themselves). It's not that hard to couch your point in careful words.
- We have to have compatible interests. I don't want to jump out of an airplane. I want to visit cool places
and take road trips
. I don't care about sports and don't have a favorite team. I like movies. Stuff like that.
So, that's the dilemma. It will take a
miracle.
And yes, yes, I know God does miracles. I've been askin
Thoughts?
