I am ok with masturbation, it's normal thing to do . What I am shocked is he is only 12 and the fact he is masturbating in the shower where I also shower and I will be very upset and angry if I find evidence . I appreciate everyone providing feedback, it's not easy being a single mom .
All the more reason to have a talk with Him. He's a teenager, not a monster...LOL..I hear from mine all the time and they talk to me about just about everything now. It wasn't easy at first. But I showed them that they weren't children i.e. toddlers who need daddy to hold their hand... I gave them just a little respect for being a teenager. Yeah, I know give them an inch they'll take a mile. But that's up to you if that happens.
One of biggest lesson I ever learned about living and raising a teen was from a teen.
My now ex wife. Has a Son, Turned out to be an awesome young man. Even though while he was a teen, I wanted to hang him by his toes, many times.
He told me that I didn't punish him, enough. And because I didn't, it made it look like I didn't care for him enough.
So, I changed it. I didn't go nuts or anything. I just didn't give him as much rope to run with as I had been.
But that was from a teenager. They aren't stupid. They know what they want, they just don't always know or understand how to go about it.
We as parents, it is our job to train them, to teach them, to punish them, to help them, and to understand where they are coming from. The only way to do that, is to get into their heads. Watch the shows they watch, if you don't regulate what they watch already. Play the games the play. Ask them what their doing, but not in the parent way. To them the parent way is "Ok, he/she wants to know what I'm doing to stop me from doing it" No don't do that. They have to experience life, we are to protect them while they are. Not to hinder them from doing so.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying let your teen do whatever he or she wants. That's not reality. If you see that they are going to run into trouble in something...assess the trouble, If you see they can handle it, let them.
I say all this, to say. Speak to your son, as if he was a man. Not a child. Be frank, be stern, but be mom.
You wouldn't let your husband or boyfriend do this would you? not without telling them how you feel about it. Then do the same with your son, but be mom of course. He wants to know that you trust him. He wants to know that you know that he isn't stupid or careless. Show Him you don't.
Do It with the love of a Child of God first, then as a mother. Because that Love that God has placed in you to be a mom, is greater than any love you could even muster for your son.
Don't be afraid, just be mom. it's not against the law to be a friend to your teen. Show Him you can do that. And you'll be surprised at the outcome. But you have to be a friend on his terms. Not yours. Remember, it's not like it was when you were a teen, but don't forget that you were a teen at one time.