Issue with 12 year old son

[Stacymom2son]

So you think I'm a fake, your thread confused me .

 

[blackribbon]

My husband died when my son was 12. I handled this kind of situation by talking to my son. The best place was in the car when we didn't have to make eye contact. He also learned that he could talk to me about anything, which is how it should be. In particular, I don't have a problem with masturbation done in moderation. I think it is a healthy way to release some sexual tension and teenagers have an over abundance of hormonal fluctuation. I really think God designed us to get married in our teens but that is not how our society works. That said, on the subject of masturbation, I simply told him that "nobody wants to see that - keep it private". To go with that, shut doors always means knock and wait for an invite in.

As for the different bodily fluids...yes, they are all the same. As a nurse, I touch them all (preferably not much [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]) but most people do not like to encounter body fluids of other people and luckily, washing machines are useful devices that every teenager should learn how to run. [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] isn't any dirtier than a girls menses problems. They are natural, God made, and part of growing into adult sexual beings.

 

[blackribbon]

As for the shower, I think that is the perfect location....self-cleaning and he comes out clean afterward (as it is, there is little that stinks as bad as boy in early adolescence.) Just put an egg timer in the bathroom and announce all showers are limited to X minutes because you don't want to spend all your money on hot water. Before you get entirely grossed out, remember he is standing in the same shower that you clean up during your monthly visit....and how is that really different? I suspect that you don't leave signs behind after your showers either. Teach him how to clean a shower and leave the supplies where he can get at them as needed (like under the sink). I'd really rather the shower than dealing with garbage cans full of used tissues, towels with dried sperm, or any of the other options.

 

[JAM2b]

I'm assuming he is masturbating but I wouldn't think it's about lust. it's more about him masturbating at 12 and he is masturbating in the shower that we both share which grosses me out

If anything is coming out in [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], its much cleaner than everything else that's getting washed off of everyone's body. If it's a squeamish issue, sanitize the shower, or ask him to. Or make it a rule for your whole family that after each shower or bath it has to be cleaned. Getting booties and armpits washed in there is more disgusting, and I'm assuming everyone in your home does that.

There is nothing biologically unclean about it; it just needs to be rinsed or cleaned away after the fact.

For my 13 year old son when he started having long showers, I put a limit on the amount of time the shower can run. He can plug the tub and let the shower fill it up while it is still running. Then he can stay in the water longer without running up my water bill or using up the hot water.

The only rules I have about my sons masturbating are:
Do it in private
Clean up after yourself
Don't run around talking about it and making others uncomfortable
Don't tell me; I don't need to know

 

[Dave-W]

The only rules I have about my sons masturbating are:
Do it in private
Clean up after yourself
Don't run around talking about it and making others uncomfortable
Don't tell me; I don't need to know

That list sounds good.
I would add to that to not use inappropriate content.

 

[Dave-W]

sorry, I keep assuming people see Scripture as authoritative and not just a nice suggestion.

I do. And that includes Song of Solomon chapter 5 which describes Shulamite as masturbating and being called "undefiled."

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I do. And that includes Song of Solomon chapter 5 which describes Shulamite as masturbating and being called "undefiled."

where does this chapter describe masturbating?

 

[Dave-W]

where does this chapter describe masturbating?

LOL. Do a search on my posts as I do not have time to explain it again. I have explained it at least a half-dozen times here.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

LOL. Do a search on my posts as I do not have time to explain it again. I have explained it at least a half-dozen times here.

seen it already. startling eisogesis.

 

[Dave-W]

seen it already. startling eisogesis.

But completely fitting with the imagery of much or the existent near-east erotic poetry of the era.