Is this an advance?

[Sarah5]

My husband and I own a farm and we rent out some property (cottages) for a little extra income. Recently I received a letter from a guy who stayed on our farm a few years ago. A youngish guy in his 20s. He asked how I was and how things were on our farm, and he also sent a recent pic of himself. We were hardly good friends or anything like that, but we would acknowledge each other with a "hello" if we passed each other on the farm or in the town. Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me? I don't usually receive letters from past tenants! He also started the letter with my first name, and signed it off with his first name. Isn't using first names a little bit "familiar?" for two people who weren't really friends? I'm not sure if I should mention it to my husband. Should I reply to him?

 

[maintenance man]

Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me?

I'd have to read the letter. He may be trying to sell you something.

But...

I have questions.

Who sends letters these days?
Why wouldn't you tell your husband?
Why would you reply?

 

[Dave L]

My husband and I own a farm and we rent out some property (cottages) for a little extra income. Recently I received a letter from a guy who stayed on our farm a few years ago. A youngish guy in his 20s. He asked how I was and how things were on our farm, and he also sent a recent pic of himself. We were hardly good friends or anything like that, but we would acknowledge each other with a "hello" if we passed each other on the farm or in the town. Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me? I don't usually receive letters from past tenants! He also started the letter with my first name, and signed it off with his first name. Isn't using first names a little bit "familiar?" for two people who weren't really friends? I'm not sure if I should mention it to my husband. Should I reply to him?

Sounds like he's stalking you to me. You had a brief business agreement but he is now making it personal. [edit] You are on his radar and any response might solicit more attention from him.

 

[Dave-W]

Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me?

THat is quite possible.

Yes, tell your husband. And let HIM reply to the guy.

 

[Sarah5]

He sent a letter because he knew my home address, not any e mail accounts I have

My husband might get jealous

I might reply through good manners

 

[maintenance man]

He sent a letter because he knew my home address, not any e mail accounts I have

My husband might get jealous

I might reply through good manners

People in sales send letters.

Unless you're looking to sneak around behind your husband's back he needs to read the letter.

Sending a letter with obscure intentions is bad manners.

Trying to start a relationship with a married woman is bad manners.

 

[tampasteve]

Your husband will be more jealous if he finds out you replied, and now have a dialog going on behind his back. Either do not reply (I would still tell him, but that is up to you) or let your husband know of the situation and be involved in what you reply, that is what I would advise.

 

[Sabertooth]

Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me? I don't usually receive letters from past tenants!

Too little information to go on. (He may have improper social skills, like high-functioning autism, too.)

I'm not sure if I should mention it to my husband.

Go ahead. Just frame it in a way like, "Hey, honey, do you remember that guy we used to rent to? He sent us a letter..."

Should I reply to him?

Probably not, but if you do, respond as husband and wife.

 

[snoochface]

Why wouldn't you tell your husband?

Leave it on the table with the rest of the mail. Or say, "Got a letter from <former renter> today. Kind of weird." I mean, what in the world is there to get jealous of?

 

[messianist]

I think informing your husband is important, the fact that he has sent the letter to you, and not the both of you seems a bit odd, either ignore it or send a reply from you and your husband.
Spend time in prayer before making a decision.

 

[Sabertooth]

He may have improper social skills, like high-functioning autism, too...

The fact that he used snail mail suggests this possibility. He made no effort to be secretive in his contact.

 

[Sarah5]

Why wouldn't you tell your husband?

Leave it on the table with the rest of the mail. Or say, "Got a letter from <former renter> today. Kind of weird." I mean, what in the world is there to get jealous of?

Well he's undeniably attractive. If he was some unattractive guy I could probably pass it off as him just wanting to say hello again.

 

[RaymondG]

This letter should have been read and then discarded or placed on the mail table to be shredded with the next pile of papers, never to be thought of again.....the same we do with junk mail.

But no, you internalized it, you thought about motives, wondered if he was into you.......considered that this may be a secret to hide from your husband..........then considered responding in secret.

The motives of the sender wouldn't matter to me at all, if I were the husband......but I would question why you have gotten so emotionally involved after reading a few words and looking at a picture......Why is it that you put so much thought into this......and why cant you just throw it away and forget about it.?

 

[RaymondG]

The motives of the sender wouldn't matter to me at all, if I were the husband......but I would question why you have gotten so emotionally involved after reading a few words and looking at a picture......Why is it that you put so much thought into this......and why cant you just throw it away and forget about it.?

Well he's undeniably attractive. If he was some unattractive guy I could probably pass it off as him just wanting to say hello again.

Questions answered.

 

[snoochface]

Now I understand.

 

[Saricharity]

Well he's undeniably attractive. If he was some unattractive guy I could probably pass it off as him just wanting to say hello again.

Proverbs 4:14-15
Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers.
Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.

 

[Sabertooth]

Well he's undeniably attractive.

If there is a competing attraction (regardless of sender's intent), that is all the more reason to trash it, as @RaymondG suggested.

 

[Sarah5]

Well do you think I should respond to him to let him know how things are on the farm? Not replying might seem rude.

 

[Sabertooth]

Well do you think I should respond to him to let him know how things are on the farm?

Given the rest of this thread, I'd say no.

Not replying might seem rude.

Entertaining temptation is even more rude.

 

[messianist]

speaking to your husband regarding this should be your priority, rather than people who you don't know.