A couple of weeks ago i posted about a situation with my uncle being a jerk to me, well he did it again on new years and i snapped. well as i expected my mom came to his defense and everyone laughed at me for getting trouble. Obviously i was fuming. Well the issue just lingering that day and finally mom chewed my uncle out. A few days later she wrote him a very strongly worded letter about how even though he is supposed to be a christian and he is behaving this way(this isnt the only bad thing hes done). Well, the letter really bothered him and he realized what he has become and how he is falling away. So while this whole issue is supposed to be "over with" it really isnt. In the end there was no resolve for me. I have repeatedly asked my mom why it was okay for her to send him on this life changing guilt trip(which i thought was unneccesary), instead of just allowing me to say something to him myself and ending the issue right then. She says she didnt want me to lose my "victory" over my uncle, but i dont see how this can be called a victory. She says the victory is showing that im the bigger person by walking away from the situation, but i never even got to show that, my situation ended with me getting trouble and laughed at because i stood up for myself. I refuse to call this a victory the whole issue has become less about me being treated badly and more about uncles personal journey, the issue is now between him and my mom and im completely forgotten. In my eyes this is a defeat. So what do all of you think? am I right? or wrong?
Is this a victory, and am i being carnal?
- Thread starter jc9992
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traditionalist
This is who I am. No more, no less
Im just wondering what you want to get out of this? If you consider this a defeat then what would be a victory?
It seems to me you dont consider this matter resolved because you did not get the last laugh. If you did then how would you feel? If your Uncle and everyone else was reading this, and you had your shot at victory. What would you say that would change the situation. And honestly, how much do you think it would change? The way your uncle acted cannot be undone, but what can change is how you accept the bad things that happen in your life.
Sometimes you can be right, and sometimes you can be happy. Most times you cannot be both.
If you want to know what I would do?
I think the type of victory that you seek is, in the end, hollow.
I would move on, I wouldnt concider it a defeat or victory. I wouldn't think it is even a competition. By getting cought up in this I would be holding on to my resentment which is a sucky thing to do, I much rather prefer to be happy. Further, If someone has an opportunity to reconnect with God through my embarrassment then I say bring it. I choose not to let it harm me. Sticks and stones and all that.
It seems to me you dont consider this matter resolved because you did not get the last laugh. If you did then how would you feel? If your Uncle and everyone else was reading this, and you had your shot at victory. What would you say that would change the situation. And honestly, how much do you think it would change? The way your uncle acted cannot be undone, but what can change is how you accept the bad things that happen in your life.
Sometimes you can be right, and sometimes you can be happy. Most times you cannot be both.
If you want to know what I would do?
I think the type of victory that you seek is, in the end, hollow.
I would move on, I wouldnt concider it a defeat or victory. I wouldn't think it is even a competition. By getting cought up in this I would be holding on to my resentment which is a sucky thing to do, I much rather prefer to be happy. Further, If someone has an opportunity to reconnect with God through my embarrassment then I say bring it. I choose not to let it harm me. Sticks and stones and all that.
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bluelime2
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I think that your mother walked over you to keep peace by the sounds of it and then decided to deal with it 'her own way' while washing down the fact that she didn't allow you to have your say, claiming it's more 'godly' for you to play it her way and accept her attitudes and behaviour in the whole thing.
If it was me, I think I'd be annoyed (if that was correct.) Just forgive her and your uncle. It's good that you stood up for yourself if you were in the right. Just keep it up. God will always back up those in the right (ultimatly.) But sometimes that means being humbled in the process so you learn when to stand and when to say nothing, when to pursue and when to forgive. It can be a process. (And forgiveness is esential in it.) Sometimes you have to allow God to fight your battles and have the last word. It can be very relative but it's the best way ultimatly for a christian, (because then you know when God's on your side and you can call for help or justice.)
If it was me, I think I'd be annoyed (if that was correct.) Just forgive her and your uncle. It's good that you stood up for yourself if you were in the right. Just keep it up. God will always back up those in the right (ultimatly.) But sometimes that means being humbled in the process so you learn when to stand and when to say nothing, when to pursue and when to forgive. It can be a process. (And forgiveness is esential in it.) Sometimes you have to allow God to fight your battles and have the last word. It can be very relative but it's the best way ultimatly for a christian, (because then you know when God's on your side and you can call for help or justice.)
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I don't know that you need to declare this a victory or defeat... either way, too soon to tell. If your uncle stops being a jerk to you, then you have what you needed, albeit, done in a strange manner. If he continues to be a jerk, you don't have what you need, but it's not your fault.
Your Mom may have handled things a little late and in a less than desirable manner, but if it works, it's good.
Your Mom may have handled things a little late and in a less than desirable manner, but if it works, it's good.
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Yes, what you have is completely carnal desires to gloat in front of your uncle how "victorious" you are.
That's not exactly pretty you know... If you are bigger than your uncle as you claimed to be.. than leave him alone. or, be an actual bigger man and forgive your uncle for wanting to sit in a comfortable chair as the guess of the house during thanksgiving.
That's not exactly pretty you know... If you are bigger than your uncle as you claimed to be.. than leave him alone. or, be an actual bigger man and forgive your uncle for wanting to sit in a comfortable chair as the guess of the house during thanksgiving.
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