Is there something wrong with this approach? +

[YCGP]

Hi TAW:

I am having a very hard time dealing with my fear of not being loved. There have been certain events taken place in my life in the past couple of years that I find very hard to handle. These problems are closely related to the fear of not being loved.

I wonder if I can shift the paradigm from caring a lot about people loving me to caring more about God loving me, so that in those moments when I am afraid, I can just think of God's love for me and feel better. Also, so that I do not make bad choices based on fear.

Is it wrong to use my faith in this way? Should I be approaching things differenlty? I think that I may be missing the point - that my relationship with God should be about me and God, not about making up for a weakness of mine.

Please excuse my ignorance. I have not been a part of the faith for very long (I finally attended liturgy this Christmas season) and have many questions that go through my mind. I like asking in TAW because I appreciate the input from all of you who I am becoming familiar with and so that I am not loading my spiritual fathers inbox with questions!

+++

 

[ArmyMatt]

personally, I would say that's one approach, but this is something to bring up to your local priest.

 

[Petros2015]

I wonder if I can shift the paradigm from caring a lot about people loving me to caring more about God loving me, so that in those moments when I am afraid, I can just think of God's love for me and feel better. Also, so that I do not make bad choices based on fear.

Instead of focusing on the fear of not getting, focus on the practice of giving. That's the paradigm shift you want. You will always thirst for the water of other wells.

14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life

John 4:10-14

11th Step Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
That where there is hatred,
I may bring love.
That where there is wrong,
I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord,
I may bring harmony.
That where there is error,
I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt,
I may bring faith.
That where there is despair,
I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows,
I may bring light.
That where there is sadness,
I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort,
than to be comforted.
To understand,
than to be understood.
To love,
than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens
To eternal life.

 

[YCGP]

Instead of focusing on the fear of not getting, focus on the practice of giving. That's the paradigm shift you want. You will always thirst for the water of other wells.

14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life

John 4:10-14

11th Step Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
That where there is hatred,
I may bring love.
That where there is wrong,
I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord,
I may bring harmony.
That where there is error,
I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt,
I may bring faith.
That where there is despair,
I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows,
I may bring light.
That where there is sadness,
I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort,
than to be comforted.
To understand,
than to be understood.
To love,
than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens
To eternal life.

That's perfect, thank you.