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Is there something wrong with me?

California Dreamin'

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JPPT1974 said:
I am a petite person with small breasts! Thought that I might tell you all also I am 5'2"!

I'm 5'3", and found out today I weigh 190 lbs, my highest weight ever.

I have a small "upper body" and a large "bottom half" and I have to get plus size pants/shorts/skirts, and "Regular" tops.. but now I am finding that tops in "regular" stores are too small, tops in plus size stores are too big.. and I am stuck in the middle. Don't even want to try getting a dress!
 
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Fatolia

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I find all sorts of women attractive...chubby, skinny, short, tall(my fave).

I was dating a girl who thought she wasn't attractive, but she was a complete bombshell. Why are a lot of women so insecure about their looks?

I seriously wanted to date this one friend of mine a while back (we parted ways before we struck gold)...she had some curves...some very nice curves. And she was the sweetest young woman I'd ever met. I'd melt everytime I was around her. However, she was incredibly insecure about herself...not knowing her purpose in life...worrying about everything. That was a sincere turnoff.

I personally don't have a big problem with women who have some meat on them. Why? More to squeeze when the appropriate time comes.

By the way, I'm 5'11," 185 lbs. with tiny breasts and huge legs.
 
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fungku

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haha, it's turned into the "what size are you?" thread!


5' 11" and I weigh aout 170 lbs
I used to be in really good shape- in martial arts and on my provincial soccer team (canada games team)

but now i'm not really in very good shape, and only play soccer in my city's men's league. i recently could afford a new pair of running shoes, so i started running again
 
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renaistre

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After all that has been said here, I think the only thing I can add (and even this might have been said) is that your frustrations are pretty common. In your case they might be harder to deal with because of the challenges you've had to overcome in your past, but there's nothing wrong with you just because you can't find a boyfriend.

That said, you might have a problem with low self-esteem, which would be understandable given your testimony. So if just venting now and then here on CF doesn't work (it usually does for me ), you might want to think about professional counselling. But I'm an engineer, not a psywhateveryoucallit, so take my diagnosis with a bit of skepticism.

On an other note (not to derail the topic again, but...), what kind of keyboard style do you play? I used to visit the CF keyboard forum every now and then, but there seemed to be too many of the stereotypical arrogant musicians there. So when I see a fellow keyboardist somewhere else, I have to jump at the chance.
 
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BlackLamb

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Hey,

First of all, I have to agree with everyone that says you're pretty, because you are! You don't look any of the things you think you are. But you know what? I don't think any number of compliments is going to help much in the long run. I know because I've been going through the same feelings for years. You said you had a crush of yours in middle school hurt you, right? Same thing with me. My middle school experiences completely crushed me, and when I came out of them and kind of matured more and people would tell me how pretty I was, it never healed the hurt and insecurity. I have trouble even looking at myself in a mirror a lot of the time. So even though you should recieve everyone's compliments as truth, it's going to take more to make the pain better. And that's going to involve realizing how wrong everyone that hurt you was. That they were the ones at fault, and there is nothing wrong with you. And it sounds so cliche, but it's only because it's true. And truth doesn't always equal easy. And I know what it's like to long for a mate. It just plain stinks. And people say, "Oh, you're young, you have pleanty of time". But that doesn't help when you see all these other people our age with boyfriends. It's not the most pleasant situation in the world. But please, if you feel like you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me. This issue you bring up is easily one of the biggest problems in my life, so I can relate.

Take care

 
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Love&Pain

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Yes I think I do need counseling because I still have scars in my heart. Sometimes, I become so angry because I feel as though nobody loves or cares about me. I have no close friends which is partly my fault because I don't allow myself to open up to people. I am quick to anger, I don't like listening to people (or at least act like I don't but I do listen and think about what someone told me), I don't talk much, and I try to reach perfection.

I am a musician, music is my cry to God. It is a way for me to communicate to Him. I sing and play with all my heart, mind, and soul. I have a Yamaha PSR-175 by the way.

Everyone keep in your prayers because they are needed.
 
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Love&Pain

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You are right, everyone in the world could tell me, "You are beautiful." I would become excited and confident but deep inside still lays a scar. I not only need to hear that I am beautiful but I want to feel loved. I need to re-dedicate my life to Christ. It is hard to live a Christian walk in my home because I hear so much criticism. We are the only people who yell and the only people who go to church on our block. I get so angry with the way my parents treat me. My mom is always putting me down and my dad ignores me. I guess I always wanted someone to be my friend. People always give me dirty looks when I smile at them or when I try to talk to them, they try to boss me around so my reaction is to reply in anger. I just need a friend, I need Jesus. I want to move away. People tell me, "Don't move away for the wrong reason." Believe me it is the right reason because it is crippling my walk with Christ.
 
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BlackLamb

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There is nothing selfish or wrong in wanting a friend and love when you have none. If people tell you that you want to move for the wrong reasons and you're in these kinds of circumstances, it sounds to me like they're trying to control you. I'm am truly sorry for the pain you've been put through. Of course Jesus is our sustainer, but we also have a need for companionship with other people. Besides, if you're an adult, why wouldn't you want to branch out on your own? I can't see what "the wrong reason" would be in this case. I have yet to understand why gentle and wonderful people are attacked and hurt by those that they are just reaching out to. I will pray for you, that God will guide you to what he has planned for you now, and that you will find peace in it.

Take care
 
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