Good, I hit a nerve.
As I stated, your position isn't what's generally referred to as "moral relativism". That's not what I was implying. In your case morality isn't relative to what any particular culture or person thinks, rather in your version morality is relative to some rather esoteric idea that I haven't completely parsed out yet, but it seems to have something to do with creating a functioning society, hence things such as lying, and rape, and murder are immoral because they tend not to be conducive to stable social structures.
So you begin with a goal...a well functioning society, and then your morals are determined by what does and doesn't tend toward that goal. That means that your morals aren't actually objective, they're relative to the goal. Hence lying is immoral, unless there's a greater good that can come from it, then it's not.
There is no goal its just an observation of the way people act morally. What your talking about is similar to Sam Harris's moral landscape which has also been refuted. His idea is still not moral realism as it makes a subjective or relative basis as the measure of morality still (what helps people function, makes them well, efficient, stable, it doesnt matter.
People can then ask why is stability or whatever idea used is really morally good. There is no basis for why they are morally good or bad apart from a humans view.
Rather moral realism looks outside the person and observes how people really act/react in moral situations. Sees how the moral affects that situation rightly or wrongly. In that way the moral values we find are independent from humans and thus objective.
Okay, let's examine what seems to be your favorite theme, "Truth and Honesty". Your claim is that without the intuitive moral guidelines of "truth and honesty" it would be impossible for us to have a productive discussion. To which I say hogwash. The discussion would look exactly the same as it does now, morals or not. We're not being honest and truthful because we're morally compelled to, we're being honest and truthful because we think we're right. You think that your arguments are valid and compelling, therefore you're going to present them as convincingly as possible.
I think it matters more to us than wanting to be right about an arguement. You have to try and make a good case to explain to someone else but the point is "what is it that matters, why does it matter".
All I am doing is acknowledging that for our debate or any discussion to go ahead to find the truth or fact humans behave in a particular moral way because something matters morally. That with some logic and rational thought we are justified to believe that the way humans behave in that situation is a true representation of the moral truth that applies. Its not my opinion, its just an observation of the reality of human behaviour.
It's not like you're sitting there going gee I wish I could lie, because that would be so helpful, but those gosh darn morals just won't let me.
Tell me, has that thought even crossed your mind, that it would be helpful if you could lie, because it certainly hasn't crossed mine. So morality has absolutely nothing to do with us having a productive discussion.
So your saying no one would think of lying is a debate or discussion. I can think of many ways why people would lie (personal gain, getting out of a fix ect). The point is there is a potential for people to lie or distort the truth under relative/subjective morality. But even lies can only be possible discovered if we use " Honesty and Truth"objectively as the basis for measuring what is true or not.
Its not about making things productive. As I said someone could say why make being productive a measure of good.
We're being truthful and honest because why in the heck would we do anything else?
Yes I agree but it depends on what you mean by "why would we do anything else?". That implies there is an objective "why" that matters.
I'm saying that we have no choice but to make these morals independent because we are justified to believe they are a true reflection of real lived morality. There is no individual choice of making these morals objective. They are objective in themselves. They are just how things are that we observe.
So therefore without even thinking about we both have made "Honesty" and "Truth" independent values because thats how we behave naturally, intuitively. We can then check things with logic and rational thinking to see that our intuition has some truth. It uisually does as our intuition is an assessment we make from our lived morality and thats pretty spot on most of the time.
While we're at it maybe we should discuss why you're not running around killing people. I'm sure that you must really want to, and it's only your exceptional moral values that are stopping you...right?
Thats how I usually think about subjective/relative morality. If its really the same as "likes and Dislikes" then there really isnt morality outside peoples heads. So as if we use taste for food people like all sorts of different foods. So if some likes killing like they like pineapple on pizzas then thats OK. Its got nothing to do with morality.
The objective morality I am talking about is that all humans intuitive know that killing is wrong. There is a right and wrong way to act that matters to humans. Because it matters it suggests there is an objective point that we can use to measure what actually matters morally or not. Rather than just leaving it up to peoples preferences.