Bless uou bene. I do know that you understand and can empathise.
I am having another very bad day today. I feel so alne and as if no one understands me and often I get blamed for things that I can't help. I don't do it how ppl want me to do t and I then lose them.
Today I gave isolated totally. I am angry, crying, feel no one cares ( here where I luve, I mean). Life seems impossible. I am almost blind now -!it is going more every day. My husband has aken over our cleaner lady and they are dealing with my clithes and my stuff and I cannot see what they are doing and I want to shout 'STOP - those are MY things." They do not care. Mi am stripped of everything. I talked t a friend from my writing group yesterday and we got close - but the conversation made me lise my faith, for the very first time. So I did not go to Mass today. I knew noone there would help me.
I am sad, angry, hopeless, and sorry for myself.
I have been searching the net to see if it is really true that I cannot have an anaesthetic because I need my eyesight back so I can keep control of my life somehow and not be at the mercy of others. All that I find tells me that indeed it s very Dangerous. But I mught risk it anyway if the anaesthetist will let me. At present he will Not but I am going to reopen it maybe. I fe e l I am not even a person any more. I cannot even write my,poetry Any more. B ecause my faith has gone. I guess it is not God I have lost faith in, but ppl.
This is the very first ti m e I h ave lost faith. I beed to be ab le to write my poetry. As it is all i have to do all day