Is Oral Sex ok in Marriage?

[Dorothea]

Do you believe that oral sex is ok inside of marriage? Or is just the basic intercourse way the only acceptable way within marriage?

 

[bliz]

It's OK if both parties agree.

 

[HuntingMan]

Do you believe that oral sex is ok inside of marriage? Or is just the basic intercourse way the only acceptable way within marriage?

the bible is very much silent on a man and his lawful wife concerning what 'acts' they may partake of.
Oddly enough, it DOES mention sex durng menstruation, but not a single word about any other act between a man and his LAWFUL wife.

Levitical law prohibits a man to lie with another man as one lies with a woman.
Simple enough until we realize that men dont have female sex organs, so 'how' exactly is it that a man can even lie with a man 'as one does a woman' ?
These two laws are rendered meaningless *IF* vaginal sex between a man and woman is the ONLY way for a man to 'lie' with a woman...

(Lev 18:22 KJV) Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

(Lev 20:13 KJV) If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Ill try not to infer too much from those, but my guess is that oral sex is the least of what is assumed, in my opinion...seeing that vaginal sex between two men is impossible.

As for other modes of sexual contact, I have no opinion. As long as it is consensual and between a man and his lawful wife, Gods word seems to say pretty much nothing on the matter.

 

[Ave Maria]

Yes, oral sex within marriage (and outside of marriage) is fine as long as both parties consent to it.

 

[Tpolg]

After contemplating this for a while, I have come to the question, why would a couple want to do this?
I think the answer must be that these couples are not feeling a satisfactory intimacy from copulation.
Oral sex may seem a way to further their intimacy, because it involves one person deriving pleasure from the other doing something disgusting, and thus there is the element of sacrifice. However, I do not think this is the appropriate way to bring this element (as important as it is) in to the relationship.
Sacrifice is an element that must permeate the relationship. Indeed this is the key to true intimacy, that it be total and without reservation. If you try to limit your intimacy to a few minutes a day then no matter what you try, you will fail.

 

[Ave Maria]

After contemplating this for a while, I have come to the question, why would a couple want to do this?
I think the answer must be that these couples are not feeling a satisfactory intimacy from copulation.
Oral sex may seem a way to further their intimacy, because it involves one person deriving pleasure from the other doing something disgusting, and thus there is the element of sacrifice. However, I do not think this is the appropriate way to bring this element (as important as it is) in to the relationship.
Sacrifice is an element that must permeate the relationship. Indeed this is the key to true intimacy, that it be total and without reservation. If you try to limit your intimacy to a few minutes a day then no matter what you try, you will fail.

Ummm because it feels good??? Also, Solomon and one of his wives had oral sex. Its described in the Song of Solomon.

 

[SealedEternal]

Yes, oral sex within marriage (and outside of marriage) is fine as long as both parties consent to it.

No sex outside of marriage is fine according to God. It is called fornication, and will keep one from becoming a child of God if it isn't repented of:

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

I Corinthians 6:9-10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

SealedEternal

 

[Ave Maria]

No sex outside of marriage is fine according to God. It is called fornication, and will keep one from becoming a child of God if it isn't repented of:

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

I Corinthians 6:9-10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

SealedEternal

I personally do not believe that fornication means sex outside of marriage so sorry but we will have to agree to disagree.

 

[HuntingMan]

I personally do not believe that fornication means sex outside of marriage so sorry but we will have to agree to disagree.

I rarely agree with SE, but Im going to have to on this one.
"porneia' is ALL inclusive of sexual immorality and includes any sexual act outside the lawful marriage a man and his wife.

As you say, we will have to agree to disagree. But Im quite positive of the intent of porneia because that is one of the core issues with the remarriage debate, so I had to study it out first and foremost.

 

[Tpolg]

Ummm because it feels good??? Also, Solomon and one of his wives had oral sex. Its described in the Song of Solomon.

So sure of that are you? Perhaps you could post those passages for us? I am a big boy, I sure I can handle it.

 

[HuntingMan]

So sure of that are you? Perhaps you could post those passages for us? I am a big boy, I sure I can handle it.

Described or not, there is no prohibition for OS in scripture for a man and his lawful wife.
Surely if God can tell us not to have sex during menstruation, Im quite sure that this eternal God would have forbidden OS *IF* it were an issue.

SoS is not relevant to the discussion, in my opinion.

 

[SealedEternal]

I personally do not believe that fornication means sex outside of marriage so sorry but we will have to agree to disagree.

Encarta® World English Dictionary

fornication (for·ni·ca·tion) noun 1. consenting sex involving somebody unmarried: sexual intercourse between two consenting adults who are not married to each other


2. sexual behavior considered immoral: in the Bible, sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married, or any form of sexual behavior considered to be immoral

 

[Tpolg]

Ok, here is what I am typing about,

Ephesians 5
"21.Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22.Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23.For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24.Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26.That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27.That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28.So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. "

Is oral sex helping you grow into this kind of relationship? If not, to that extent it is sin.

 

[HuntingMan]

Is oral sex helping you grow into this kind of relationship? If not, to that extent it is sin.

and the very same would apply to regular sex....

The one thing about OS that normal sex can never be is that it is about one spouse being completely giving and not receiving at the same time.
Its one of the more 'selfless' things a person can do for their spouse.

 

[praying]

Oral sex may seem a way to further their intimacy, because it involves one person deriving pleasure from the other doing something disgusting, .

So I think your objections stem from the fact you view it as disgusting. Why is it disgusting?

 

[Dorothea]

Encarta® World English Dictionary

fornication (for·ni·ca·tion) noun 1. consenting sex involving somebody unmarried: sexual intercourse between two consenting adults who are not married to each other


2. sexual behavior considered immoral: in the Bible, sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married, or any form of sexual behavior considered to be immoral

Thanks for this post. I think some wish not to think that sex outside of marriage is a sin because they don't want to change their lives if they've already have been doing so. I know. I had pre-marital sex before I was married and before I'd read the Bible and realized about this issue. My husband decided to move to a dorm and I to my parents house until we married in a couple months to try and "change" to honor what we now knew to be living in sin.

 

[HuntingMan]

So I think your objections stem from the fact you view it as disgusting. Why is it disgusting?

Great question.
Obviously, if that poster finds it disgusting, then for her its fine that she not partake of it. But shes not in any place to judge others who do and dont find disgusting at all

 

[Digit]

Do you believe that oral sex is ok inside of marriage? Or is just the basic intercourse way the only acceptable way within marriage?

Hi Dorothea,

I've found this site quite useful in it's explanations of things. It isn't for the meek and covers some areas that many will found quite unpleasant. Yet it does highlight exactly what the Bible is vocal on and also outlines the demands of the marriage covenant on the couple. With these two things side by side you can form a good picture of what is ok and what is not.

My two cents is that oral sex is ok, and that's if both parties are consenting to it and open to it.

Cheers,
Digit

 

[Dorothea]

Hi Dorothea,

I've found this site quite useful in it's explanations of things. It isn't for the meek and covers some areas that many will found quite unpleasant. Yet it does highlight exactly what the Bible is vocal on and also outlines the demands of the marriage covenant on the couple. With these two things side by side you can form a good picture of what is ok and what is not.

My two cents is that oral sex is ok, and that's if both parties are consenting to it and open to it.

Cheers,
Digit

thank you kindly, Digit. I'll take a look at the site when I get the chance.

I looked and read over much of that. Very interesting information. I got a book in the mail yesterday on the sacarment of love from my faith's view, and I've been reading it this afternoon and evening, and it's really helped me on this issue.

 

[Digit]

To those in this thread that find oral sex disgusting, you are perfectly entitled to do so. Yet you cannot make the jump from finding it personally unpleasant, to it being sinful for all. I'm currently in another thread where people are making up sins where scripture is silent on the issue and if oral sex is a sin because it is where one person derives pleasure from another, then so is giving your wife a backrun.

Please don't make the mistake of thinking that everything you personally feel against, is sinful. We have scripture which talks of sin clearly and then we have our own personal convictions which scripture also talks on clearly - if we find something sinful, then to us, it is so, yet we are to remain silent on these things.

Cheers,
Digit