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Is it wrong to be Single?

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by Joyeuse, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. Joyeuse

    Joyeuse New Member

    8
    +13
    United States
    Catholic
    Single
    Hello Folks,

    I'm 21 (6 months and I'll be 22) and I have never had a girlfriend (I am also very introvert). So I'm also a virgin and everything just points out that I will never get married. The fact is that I am not that interested in finding a partner. I always thought that marriage should be something organic and natural, so I never tried to find a partner. Now, don't get me wrong, I think family is important and I'm certainly a family type of guy. But I'm getting older and some of my classmates already married or have girlfriends.

    I was thinking in becoming a monk or a priest later on, but I don''t if that's what I truly want.
     
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  2. Jonaitis

    Jonaitis Pilgrim

    +3,163
    United States
    Reformed
    Single
    US-Republican
    .
     
  3. ChicanaRose

    ChicanaRose Well-Known Member

    +1,317
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    "For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others

    --and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

    The one who can accept this should accept it."

    Said Jesus (Matt. 19:12) :)
     
  4. Loyce KG

    Loyce KG Everyone MUST hear the gospel of Christ!

    342
    +391
    Uganda
    Pentecostal
    Single
    “He said to them, “Not everyone grasps this teaching, only those for whom it is meant. For there are different reasons why men do not marry — some because they were born without the desire, some because they have been castrated, and some because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever can grasp this, let him do so.”
    ‭‭Matthew 19:11-12‬ ‭CJB‬‬

    Being single/celibate is a gift and calling. Paul and Jesus highly talked about it and even preferred that one stays single IF they can for the sake of service towards the Lord without the demands of marriage.
     
  5. My King and Lord

    My King and Lord Member

    72
    +111
    Canada
    Christian
    Private
    But who would want to stay a single virgin with no family for 70 years? Don't you want a partner to have kids and a family with instead of remaining by yourself the whole life?
     
  6. Loyce KG

    Loyce KG Everyone MUST hear the gospel of Christ!

    342
    +391
    Uganda
    Pentecostal
    Single
    Only those who have been called that's why Jesus spoke to those who would grasp the concept.
    What makes you think he won't have a family because he is single?
    How do you define family?
    Being single doesn't equate to loneliness and a solitary experience just like marriage doesn't guarantee fulfillment.
    Only Christ is able to make a man content with or without marriage.
     
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  7. My King and Lord

    My King and Lord Member

    72
    +111
    Canada
    Christian
    Private
    Isn't it everyone's dream to find a love one and start a family? I understand what you say, but when your single you can't get a family unless you adapt children. But when I say kids I mean biological kids and many people prefer that instead. I don't say when your single you're depressed and alone. I mean that having a family is usually better because you have people you have a close bond and relation with a spouse that is very close and children who carry your genes that remains for the rest of your life.
     
  8. Loyce KG

    Loyce KG Everyone MUST hear the gospel of Christ!

    342
    +391
    Uganda
    Pentecostal
    Single
    Better for you. The OP prefers to be single and he sounds happy with it. That can happen to many people who are called to be eunuchs. That's why it's hard to grasp in those who desire to marry. It's a special calling.
     
  9. AvgJoe

    AvgJoe Member since 2005 Supporter

    +1,058
    United States
    Baptist
    Private
    Question: "What does the Bible say about a Christian staying single?"

    Answer:
    The question of a Christian staying single and what the Bible says about believers never marrying is often misunderstood. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Although it seems that nearly everyone marries, it is not necessarily God's will for everyone. Paul, for example, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. He would not have been such a useful messenger if he had been married.

    On the other hand, some people do better as a team, serving God as a couple and a family. Both kinds of people are equally important. It is not a sin to remain single, even for your entire life. The most important thing in life is not finding a mate and having children, but serving God. We should educate ourselves on the Word of God by reading our Bibles and praying. If we ask God to reveal Himself to us, He will respond (Matthew 7:7), and if we ask Him to use us to fulfill His good works, He will do that as well. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

    Singleness should not be viewed as a curse or an indication that there is “something wrong” with the single man or woman. While most people marry, and while the Bible seems to indicate that it is God’s will for most people to marry, a single Christian is in no sense a “second class” Christian. As 1 Corinthians 7 indicates, singleness is, if anything, a higher calling. As with everything else in life, we should ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) concerning marriage. Following God’s plan, whether that be marriage or singleness, will result in the productivity and joy that God desires for us.

    www.gotquestions.org/single-Christian.html
     
  10. bekkilyn

    bekkilyn Contemplative Christian Supporter

    +4,830
    United States
    United Methodist
    Celibate
    US-Others
    Ugh, no, it is definitely NOT everyone's dream. Far from it.
     
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  11. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +5,024
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Apostle Paul said it is better to be single.

    Just because everyone is doing it means it's better. Not always true.
     
  12. Citanul

    Citanul Well, when exactly do you mean?

    +2,298
    South Africa
    Methodist
    Single
    Don't think that you need to become a monk or priest just because you don't want to get married. It's definitely not an either/or situation.

    And I also don't think that being single is something you need to worry about. You're only 21, and plenty of people haven't been in a relationship by that stage, so it's by no means a sign that you're not going to end up together with someone.

    There's no magic age for which it means if you're still single at that point you'll never get married - I know people who are very happily married having only got married in their 40s (and for one of them her father only got married in his 50s...). So you still have plenty of time and don't need to be worried about not being married at 21, an age which a lot of people would consider is too young to be married.
     
  13. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +5,024
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    For us introverts, striking and maintaining a conversation with random women don't come naturally. We'll have to struggle a bit more, do lots of research, and even practice in front of a mirror.
     
  14. HamoNinja

    HamoNinja New Member

    10
    +6
    Singapore
    Christian
    Single
    Hmmm I’m just wondering from one-single guy to another (and trust me I’ve been where you are and I’m now in my early 40s).... What’s your focus?

    Why are you so caught up with the status quo and even isolating yourself in the ‘single-zone’?

    Having a gf or not having a gf or getting married or not getting married... is actually not the issue here young brother... the key is where is Jesus in all of your thinking and focus?!?

    You say your an introvert, well from one introvert to another firstly you need to link in with other strong and trust worthy believers who are men first of all... do you belong to a cell-group or men’s fellowship? If not, then that’s the first place to start to get yourself linked in with one in your location; next is your father around and if so is he a believer?

    Another good place to start if you have that type of relationship, but if your dad is not around (like for me) then seeking mature men who you can trust in your local church to confide in like your pastor or elders is next place to get linked with will help.

    At the end of the day your asking the wrong questions and focusing on things at the end of the day that are not as important as you think; it should be how is your relationship with Jesus? What is Jesus speaking to you at this point in time? What are your passions in life ie career wise, ministry thoughts, etc.

    At the end of the bro... your not alone with such thoughts and feelings, but you can certainly help change them into positive outcomes with some of the suggestions I’ve mentioned above.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff our beautiful Lord is more interested in having a relationship with you to help you be fulfilled in this journey with Him...

    Bless you brother
     
  15. HamoNinja

    HamoNinja New Member

    10
    +6
    Singapore
    Christian
    Single
    Hmmm just to put something straight for some of the brothers here (and sisters in the same boat)... but being an introvert has “nothing” to do with being unable to speak with the opposite sex or quiet type... This is a misconception big time... being an introvert is about energy which comes from within...and how that energy is dispersed or received ... for example extroverts are about letting energy out hence the characteristics of being the life of the party, out there etc.... but introverts and I being one... it’s about needing to draw on things that help our energies to be filled up for example we prefer quiet spaces, not on the front line... to be recharged rather then discharging energy, so it has nothing to do with being shy or timid... please everyone get the correct knowledge... if you do not know these terms are about personality and behavior science....

    upload_2019-4-26_21-5-15.jpeg

    And besides as

    2 Timothy 1:7 New King James Version (NKJV) states...

    “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind”
     
  16. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +5,024
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    True, this is why we have less practice / experience socializing compared to extroverts.
     
  17. ReesePiece23

    ReesePiece23 The Peanut Buttery Member.

    +3,697
    Christian
    This is what I hate about society - it puts ideas like this into people's heads: "I'm 21, therefore I should have done 'this' and achieved 'that' before 20. I guess I'm inferior now, might as well accept it by labelling myself as an introvert."

    Sorry for the slightly condescending hue, but it just irks me. You need to get rid of this way of thinking. It'll be far more important than finding a woman in the long run.
     
  18. Pomegranate

    Pomegranate we are the people of his pasture

    15
    +17
    United Kingdom
    Anglican
    Single
    I would never put off someone from exploring whether the celibate religious life is for them. Discerning whether that truly is your path will involve plenty of time to consider what you are exchanging, I believe in the UK it's a 7ish year process to become a Catholic priest and provides plenty of time for young men to consider whether this is the path they should be walking.

    At the same time you are 21. Whilst those around you may be married, dating, the fact you have never had a girlfriend or engaged in sexual activity is not a reliable indicator of forever single status. What others in your age group are doing should not be used to measure of how your life is going to plan out.

    When I was in my early twenties I looked to join a convent, and it was a nun who convinced me to give it time. She advised to revisit the calling in my thirties and I'd be able to see if it was God, or impatience, saying I should become a nun. Personally I view that as a sensible position, 10 years seems like a lifetime away in your 20's but honestly it goes in a blink of an eye.
     
  19. Vega1

    Vega1 New Member

    60
    +37
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    I'm 25 and I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm a virgin. I'm an introvert too so just randomly approaching girls is just out of the question for me, if theirs nothing to talk about then I don't say anything.
     
  20. Miles

    Miles Well-Known Member

    +2,934
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    It isn't wrong to be single. Especially not at your age. Too many young people make hasty decisions that they later end up regretting. Being patient will serve you well.

    That said, I'd like to think that most monks and priests are motivated by a desire to serve God rather than simply being unable to find a spouse. Make sure your heart is in the right place before considering one of those vocations.
     
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