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Featured Is it a sin for a single Christian to have sexual dreams?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by frenchbread101, Apr 20, 2018.

  1. frenchbread101

    frenchbread101 Newbie

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    This is so embarrassing but I have no christian mentor to talk to about this. first, I'm female. I had a dream I "made love" with the person I "married". I'm single, never been in a relationship so I don't know why I had this dream. Normally when I have dreams like that I wake up feeling dirty and guilty so I beg God for forgiveness until I feel clean. This time I woke up feeling different. I didn't feel like it was dirty. It was beautiful. It was different than a "perverted" dream. I've been healing from avoidant attachment issues and I wonder if this was some part of it. I grew up with a skewed view of sex and sexuality and always felt dirty by it.



    What I want to know is, did I sin by enjoying this dream? Is God angry at me? Do I need to pray forgiveness? I'm worried about God punishing me for enjoying this dream because I'm not married.
     
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  2. seventysevens

    seventysevens Well-Known Member

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    True dreams that occur while you sleep , you have no control over so it would not be a sin , but dreams during sleep can be impacted by what you spend time thinking about when you are awake - such as sexual fantasies -

    No I don't think God is angry with you , you may want to pray and ask God about it
    Dreams are things that are hard to discern what they mean , but if you ask God to tell you what they mean , you may find an answer in that
    Only you and God know what you think about during your awake hours
     
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  3. frenchbread101

    frenchbread101 Newbie

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    I don't fanatize about sexual stuff in my waking hours. I don't watch sinful movies or listen to secular music either. Any remotely sexual thought I ever get goes immediately to prayer for forgiveness.
     
  4. frenchbread101

    frenchbread101 Newbie

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    I just need to know if God will punish me for this. I keep asking for forgiveness but don't feel clean yet.
     
  5. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

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    Not a sin at all. As stated above you have no control over your thoughts while you sleep
    Love is a beautiful thing and sex is too when it is between a married man and woman.
     
  6. frenchbread101

    frenchbread101 Newbie

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    Exactly. This just makes Him more angry. I'm so upset today.
     
  7. seventysevens

    seventysevens Well-Known Member

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    God understands what motivates people to say harsh things and He will deal with those who say them - but that will not make him angry with you - just know that if you asked for forgiveness - God has already forgiven you , even if you don't feel clean - it is more likely that satan is trying to disturb you and cause you to feel that way - rebuke satan and believe that God has forgiven you
     
  8. Steve Petersen

    Steve Petersen Senior Veteran

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    I was being sarcastic. Would you want to worship a God like that? If he is really like that, does he deserve to be? What I am arguing against here is not God, but the way he is portrayed by some Christians. I believe that portrayal is wrong and brings discredit to God's name.
     
  9. Knee V

    Knee V It's phonetic.

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    We do not control our dreams. We can ask for God's help not to dwell on what is in our dreams and other vain thoughts, and then move on. One of the best ways to avoid dwelling on negative thoughts is to fill our mind with good things to dwell on instead. I like the Psalms, myself.
     
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  10. Haramis

    Haramis Dancing on Rainbows Supporter

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    We may not have conscious control of our dreams, but our lives, what we're exposed to, and what we think about all impact our dreams.

    I mean, do you often have a dream that you're a hydrogen molecule drifting through Saturn's rings? Probably not, because that's not something you ever think about.

    But some people do dream they are animals. And that animal is usually either a bird, or a common household pet like a dog or a cat. So it's not random, or you'd be just as likely to dream you were a squid. But you don't live in the ocean so you have a poor perspective of it. On the other hand, you have a pretty clear idea of what a typical day in the life of a dog looks like. And hence you can dream about it.
     
  11. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Not a sin, period. It is your body (which God designed to enjoy sex) telling your mind what it wants and needs. Perfectly normal.
     
  12. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Punish you for something He provided and wants you to enjoy? That makes no sense.

    I suspect you are experiencing condemnation from the devil instead of God's conviction, which is always clean and encouraging instead of shaming and leaving you feeling dirty.

    Don't listen to the devil's lies.
     
  13. mozo41

    mozo41 Well-Known Member

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    GOD speaks to us in His own language ... understand the language and you will see the meaning of your dream..

    eg: there be a meaning/reason why Mary was a virgin and did not lie down with a beast/man to conceive a son of promise ...
     
  14. gym_class_hero

    gym_class_hero Well-Known Member

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    "if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness..."
    I don't know if it was a sin or not but we often need to trust God's word and not our feelings.

    God bless you.
     
  15. Divide

    Divide Well-Known Member

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    I like Dave-W's answer and think his is the best answer you got so far. Now, the Lord has taught me several things through dreams, and scripture does say he will will do this.

    You need to get the dream interpreted. I can in no way do that for you I am not versed in dream interpretation, but after I had had a series of dreams. I sought to get them interpreted, because like you said, the dreams had a decidedly spiritual flavor to them and were...different than my normal dreams.

    This is what I learned. Dream interpretations are found in the details of the dream. Who's there, what you wear, what color things are, what items are, if you enter or exit a house in a dream which door did you go through and all those sorts of details. Each little detail means something. What color was the girls hair in your dream?

    If you have more dreams, write them down quickly so you don't forget the details! Then go get the dream interpreted, or learn to do it yourself. From what they say, dream interp's are kind of cut and dried. You can buy books or google interp lists of what different things will mean in dreams.

    I went and got mine interpreted...and then did three things. First I considered the dream interp, in my heart, to dee if the interp seemed to "fit" and make sense to me and my situation in life and the dream. It will either have the ring of truth to it or it wont, for you.

    Secondly, I prayed to the Lord to give me confirmation of the interp, because, (who can trust the heart? For it is deceitfully wicked...), right?

    Then waited for a confirmation from God to the interp and how I took it and how I feel about it, prayed some more about it...

    I think the longest one was three days before I got my interpretation(s). I can't tell you how He will give you a confirmation, He does this in different ways! But I promise you this, you will know it when you get the confirmation. Then and only then you can accept the confirmation. There will be a big lesson in it, the Lord is trying to teach you something! You better listen!

    Try this place: Login Required | PAPA'S DREAM FORUM / PDIF
    This is where I got several of my dreams interpreted. The owner of the board, a girl named Masterspiece does know how to interp dreams. She banned me because I made her mad when I wouldn't call the police on my kids for (making a stupid decision which affected me greatly), and I chose the high road of prayer and forgiveness rather than having them locked up. IOW, tread lightly because she'll ban you quick if she gets irritated, lol!
    God bless her, she was right on the money with my interps and I got confirmations.

    What color was the girls hair in your dream that the sexual encounter occurred with? The reason I ask is, one of my dreams was also a sexual dream, and the girls hair color is very important.

    You woke up with a feeling in your heart about the dream, that it was a little odd from the norm. I think this is telling you (us), that the dream is significant, the Lord is speaking to you hoping you will listen to Him.

    But the world says I have the ramblings of a mad man... Has a nice ring to it, eh? LOL! So don't listen to me. You decide your own path.
     
  16. Radagast

    Radagast has left CF

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    It's a perfectly natural thing to want that. For a whole bunch of reasons, you should not focus your thoughts on that too much while you're awake.

    You have no control over your dreams, though, and God is not "angry" at you for having this dream. Really, it's just your mind telling you it wants to be married one day.

    You seem to have the wrong view of God. Each day we ask God to forgive our sins, and he forgives them all. God does not make a list of all the things you did wrong and then arrange punishments for them.

    In practical terms, though, your life might be easier if you make sure that your going-to-sleep prayers focus your mind on God and not something else.
     
  17. GandalfTheWise

    GandalfTheWise In search of lost causes and hopeless battles

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    To feel dirty or unclean about sex is *not* God's intention for us going into marriage. It's meant to be a beautiful natural thing to be shared with your spouse. This dream, more than the others or how you feel about sexuality, is more in line with what God intends for you to feel about intimacy with a future spouse.

    If I had to guess, I'd think it's more an indicator that a spiritual and emotional healing is starting to occur than this being a problem. I'd take a dream like this more as a promise of what future intimacy could be if you continue on the path of spiritual and emotional healing God is taking you on.

    As part of the big picture, it is our continued spiritual growth and maturity that is the biggest driver of changes in our lives. Many times, focusing on problems (which is what we all commonly do), takes away our attention and energies from working at growing spiritually. We get more concerned with what God is possibly angry about rather than seeing His hand at work molding us and shaping us into the person He created us to be.
     
  18. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    You may not believe this, but it would be ok if you did. As a single adult, you were created with a hunger for sex. If it is ok to get hungry and think about your favorite meal, it is just as ok to feel a need and think about sexual fulfillment of that need.
    That incorrectly assumes you need forgiveness for something that is not a sin.

    IMO the devil has duped you into believing stuff to be sinful when it is not, and then beating you over the head with it in condemnation.
     
  19. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Amen.
    Again, amen.

    In 1 Cor 7, Paul calls sexuality a "gift." He uses the word charisma, the same word he uses in chapter 12 to describe prophecy, healing and miracles.

    The LAST thing we want to do is to hate a gift given to us from God. Do not let your own sex drive become your enemy. Do not curse what God has blessed.
     
  20. Job3315

    Job3315 Active Member

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    Sexual dreams are not bad as sex is part of the human nature. God created sex to be enjoyed. When you get a sexual dream though write down the date on a calendar and after a few months check if there’s a pattern, maybe you get them right before or during your period. Those dreams could be your actual body letting you know of it’s desire, which is not a bad one.

    I love that every dream I have can become a subject of conversation with God. Bring it up to Him and be honest. He knows EVERYTHING about you, He just wants to listen and teach you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2018
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