Is divorce a sin?

[~PICKLE~]

Can you honestly say that if you were in one's shoes that was or is being abused, that you would stay in that marriage. flesh and I had this talk on the marriage thread, and still I do not understand what is wrong with people today. I was abused for 3 years, my mother was abused for 15 years by my no good father. Why oh why would God want someone to stay in that situation. I prayed everyday for things to change as did my mother. Nothing changed, it gets worse as time goes by. I told nobody of my abuse until that final night. I hid and refused to talk to anyone. My mother did the same until our pastor came to her and said he was taking her to get a divorce and he would pay for it. If you've never been there how can you judge. Would you say these things to anyone in your family that was being beatin'. I think not, you would help them get out. And would you want your mother to be lonely and not happy for the rest of her life, by not being able to remarry. I'm remarried and very happy. My grandfather which is a southern Baptist preacher married us, and my mother is remarried to to my grandfather son which is an ordained pastor- non practicing. I don't get where people come from. Has anyone watched cops at the women or men that have been beaten. Can you honestly say, they shouldn't get a divorce. What about the women on the news everyday that their husbands have killed. Please explain the logic.

 

[sioleabha]

Can you honestly say that if you were in one's shoes that was or is being abused, that you would stay in that marriage. flesh and I had this talk on the marriage thread, and still I do not understand what is wrong with people today. I was abused for 3 years, my mother was abused for 15 years by my no good father. Why oh why would God want someone to stay in that situation. I prayed everyday for things to change as did my mother. Nothing changed, it gets worse as time goes by. I told nobody of my abuse until that final night. I hid and refused to talk to anyone. My mother did the same until our pastor came to her and said he was taking her to get a divorce and he would pay for it. If you've never been there how can you judge. Would you say these things to anyone in your family that was being beatin'. I think not, you would help them get out. And would you want your mother to be lonely and not happy for the rest of her life, by not being able to remarry. I'm remarried and very happy. My grandfather which is a southern Baptist preacher married us, and my mother is remarried to to my grandfather son which is an ordained pastor- non practicing. I don't get where people come from. Has anyone watched cops at the women or men that have been beaten. Can you honestly say, they shouldn't get a divorce. What about the women on the news everyday that their husbands have killed. Please explain the logic.

We don't get to know the logic behind everything that God does. He gave us HIs Word, and we follow it. The end.

 

[~PICKLE~]

I was reading the Crossings Devotional Bible last nigh. It's a KJV, with articles by Jerry Jenkins, James Dobson and many others. You can look it up if you have one. It's on page 325. The Devotional Moment says:
Marriage & Divorce
"The law regulated divorce because God did not want it to become a normal way of life. The law permitted divorce only because the people's hearts were hard. God's design for marriage is for one person to be faithful and commited to a single partner as a reflection of the character and nature of God. If you are married, commit yourself wholeheartedly to your spouse as long as your spouse is not abusive. If you are divorced, don't waste time wallowing in guilt; instead, look on any future marriage with an eye toward a lasting commintment."

Okay, why would they put that in this Bible if getting out of a abusive marriage is a sin?

Something about this really eeks me, How can anybody say honestly, that a person that is being abused by there mate, should stay in the marriage or get as far away from it as possible without divorce. And if you do get a divorce, than you can never remarry. I'm sorry, But I was raised in church and I have never heard of people judging others for this. My father says that most people have never been through something like this and they just don't understand. I guess that's the way I have to look at it. Most people have never been in my shoes and never had to make that kind of choice. I perfer life than death right now, and that's where I would be if I would of stayed where I was.

 

[Galadriel]

I was reading the Crossings Devotional Bible last nigh. It's a KJV, with articles by Jerry Jenkins, James Dobson and many others. You can look it up if you have one. It's on page 325. The Devotional Moment says:
Marriage & Divorce
"The law regulated divorce because God did not want it to become a normal way of life. The law permitted divorce only because the people's hearts were hard. God's design for marriage is for one person to be faithful and commited to a single partner as a reflection of the character and nature of God. If you are married, commit yourself wholeheartedly to your spouse as long as your spouse is not abusive. If you are divorced, don't waste time wallowing in guilt; instead, look on any future marriage with an eye toward a lasting commintment."

Okay, why would they put that in this Bible if getting out of a abusive marriage is a sin?

Something about this really eeks me, How can anybody say honestly, that a person that is being abused by there mate, should stay in the marriage or get as far away from it as possible without divorce. And if you do get a divorce, than you can never remarry. I'm sorry, But I was raised in church and I have never heard of people judging others for this. My father says that most people have never been through something like this and they just don't understand. I guess that's the way I have to look at it. Most people have never been in my shoes and never had to make that kind of choice. I perfer life than death right now, and that's where I would be if I would of stayed where I was.

Hey there,
Your story is amazing, adn I am so glad you got the strength to get out of that situacion. I too do not know what the deal is, I CANNOT believe that God would WANT a wife to stay where she is being treated like less than an animal, and not allow her to leave. What kind of God is that???
I think people need to see the spirit of whats being said, instead of looking so hard at the wordings that they can't see whats really going on.
I think the woman, for herself and God, has to get out of that situacion, she didn't want to marry a monster, its not her fault he is a monster. I simply CANNOT see the logic in dying for your abusive husband, turn the other cheek, but come on folks. God NEVER meant for the wife to be the husbands whipping post. This topic gets my dander up....

 

[~PICKLE~]

Thank You, Galadriel. You've said what I've been tryin to say, but to frustrated to get it out. I'm not angry at my ex. I have forgiven him. I think about it but not dwell on it. I'm frustrated at how people on the board look at the situation. If i Knew a freind stranger whoever was being abuse, there's no way I could tell them to stay and try to work things out. Even if I didn't know them, I'd say get out, can I help you get out. Nobody, man or women should have to live life like that.

 

[Galadriel]

Thank You, Galadriel. You've said what I've been tryin to say, but to frustrated to get it out. I'm not angry at my ex. I have forgiven him. I think about it but not dwell on it. I'm frustrated at how people on the board look at the situation. If i Knew a freind stranger whoever was being abuse, there's no way I could tell them to stay and try to work things out. Even if I didn't know them, I'd say get out, can I help you get out. Nobody, man or women should have to live life like that.

Hello,
I think its great that you have been able to forgive him as well, I know we are told to forgive, though I am sure it was difficult in a case such as this. I agree that I mean, you try the best you know how to make it work, but if he is not going to change and obviosly just wants to keep abusing you with no sign of wanting to treat you any better, its ridiculus to stay and have to take that kind of tripe. I could never tell a fellow Christian that God wanted them to stay in the abusive relationship and perhaps even die at the abuser's hands. Thats just nuts, I mean its not the wife's fault that he has REAL REAL issues and that he's taking them all out on her. She needs to GET OUT OF THERE, and get help to get away from this monster to gain a semblance of life back. I mean theres unhappy marriages, and then theres just pretty much non-existant ones, the wife is being abused so bad, thats not just unhappy, thats life threatening. God didn't promise us it would be roses, but surely God does not want the wife to endanger her life at the hands of a sadistic husband. I think if it were some of these people's families or themselves, they would think differently about it.

 

[~PICKLE~]

I difantly agree!!!

 

[Abigail's folly]

Sioleabha states:

We don't get to know the logic behind everything that God does. He gave us HIs Word, and we follow it. The end.

How true that God's way leaves our puny understandings in the dust.
However, let me pose something to you, put yourself (Any of you reading this) in this situation.

Your husband (wife) begins to slip. He/she starts drinking heavily, or even worse, begins taking methamphetamines or cocaine. He begins spending every penny you have on just about anything other than living expenses. His temper begins to mount, any little thing sets him off. Let's say he gives you a push now and then, or starts breaking things, and bullying you, shouting at you. You pray and agonize, you wait in faith for something, anything, good to happen. Your kids are at risk, your home is in danger of foreclosure, you lose sleep and start having physical problems because of the mental stress. Still there? OK, lets say we turn up the heat a bit. Lets say he starts threatening you verbally, then physically, roughs you up a bit. Now the kids are frightened of him, and you are really starting to unravel.

Are you still going to stay?

Lets really crank up the fire. Now he has injured you, maybe the sneaky way by making sure there are no visible marks (can you believe some people are capable of this?), or maybe you end up taking an occasional visit to the hospital.

Are you going to 'hang in there'? Honestly?

If you are willing to stay in such a situation, and rely on the hand of God to intervene, or to blindly stay to your fate, no matter how bad-(remember, He doesn't force anyone i.e. your spouse, to obey Him) then I applaud your faith. I guess mine just isn't strong enough, I guess I am just a disobedient believer. And heck, my situation never did get to the point of physical, personal violence.

God may disapprove of a marriage breaking up, but He surely disapproves of His children abusing one another.

 

[~PICKLE~]

Very Well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Abigail's folly]

I also want to add (while I'm on a rant ) That in my situation I finally decided on a separation, rather than a final dissolution to my marriage.

Boy, how I've been blasted even on that decision, too, by many well meaning people.

Let me tell you, for my situation, that it has been a GOD-SEND, whether or not I had 'gone against the Word of God'.

It has given my husband time to wallow in his pity, then think about the situation and consider the problems, then evaluate his options. He hasn't had a drink in three months (I still wish he would involve himself with AA) is seeing a counselor, is handling the debt collectors and phone calls himself. He has started counting his pennies and conserving what precious little cash he has. He has yet to consider God in all this, but there still is time, since it is because of my consideration of my Lord, that I didn't boot his tush out the door for good, a year ago.

It has given me time to get over my middle of the night panic attacks, get off a couple of prescriptions, quit crying every day, all day. I can now pay my bills and save a bit, and the kids are not so afraid of him. I don't absolutely loathe the thought, sight and sound of him anymore, heck, I might even like him a bit.

So, you hurting folks out there, pray, pray, pray--and take care of yourself! A bit of time away is not a sin, anyway. Paul didn't really tackle any marital situation that was truly abusive in his letters, did he? Some of what he said were suggestions, and not commands of God's, either. How many of you women out there wear headcoverings while in church or while praying? Not to get too far off the subject, but Paul preached that, too.

There is forgiveness, even for us lowly, faithless worms. I may give up some reward in heaven, perhaps, and may come to regret it then--but--perhaps not.

 

[Risen Tree]

OK, here we go. Let's take a look at the Scripture.

"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." --Matthew 5:32

So divorcing one's spouse (I am presuming that at the time this was spoken, it was unheard of for a wife to initiate the divorce), not counting circumstances involving cheating, is sin.

Let's keep in mind that Matthew was written to Jews, who had a custom called betrothal. This passage was written with that custom in mind. No other gospel has this.

 

[joshua_cheung]

I also want to add (while I'm on a rant ) That in my situation I finally decided on a separation, rather than a final dissolution to my marriage.

I may give up some reward in heaven, perhaps, and may come to regret it then--but--perhaps not.

This is love . You love your kids.

God blesses you.

 

[Evee]

Abuse only gets worse.
Do not stay in the situation.
It may be possible to be rehabilitated.
The only way to stop is to want to stop, and much prayer on the abusers behalf.
I think most abusers continue to be abusers.
Women can be abusers too.

 

[Follower of Christ]

.......You either believe Christ's words to be the final authority or you don't..........

Do you mean words such as these ?...........

Jesus said to him, "If you desire to be perfect, go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."
(Mat 19:21)

Tell me, have you followed THAT to the letter ?
It IS the final authority, we all agree............have you?

Or are you not as concerned when its applied directly to YOUR life?

 

[Follower of Christ]

We don't get to know the logic behind everything that God does. He gave us HIs Word, and we follow it. The end.

YOU DO???

Are you SURE about that ?

REALLY SURE??

Shall I go thru and make a list of things I can GUARANTEE that you do not follow ?

How about for starters..........

The young man said to Him, "All these have I kept from my youth. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you desire to be perfect, go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But when the young man heard the word, he went away grieved, for he had many possessions.
(Mat 19:20-22)

So did you follow this passage as well, or are you going to convieniently excuse YOURSELF from following the word to the letter?

Are you saying you dont need to perfect yourself?

Or is it that the rules only apply to others...........You can exempt yourself from those rules which are not conveinient for you.

Thank the Lord that He said that so we can show hypocracy at its finest.........

 

[Abigail's folly]

None of us follow all His words to perfection, or else we'd be outta here like Enoch.

Let's not get into a mud-throwing contest here.There are folks out there in desperate need of understanding and support!

The decision to stay or to leave an abusive situation should be between the person in need and God.

Please, don't let me, or anyone else sway your decision one way or another. Perhaps if you stay, God will rattle that spouse's cage and get their attention, they repent and everyone lives happily ever after. Perhaps if you stay, you'll end up dead or wishing you were.

Take it before God, get some God-a-fearin' folks praying for you, and act upon what comes of that.

 

[Risen Tree]

Tell me, have you followed THAT to the letter ?
It IS the final authority, we all agree............have you?

Or are you not as concerned when its applied directly to YOUR life?

Apples and oranges. Matthew 19:21 was directed at somebody who thought he could earn his way into heaven. By contrast, Matthew 5:32 was directed at a large flock of people.

 

[SirKenin]

I don't think divorce is a sin. It's remarriage in all circumstances but two that's a sin

 

[SirKenin]

Do you mean words such as these ?...........



Tell me, have you followed THAT to the letter ?
It IS the final authority, we all agree............have you?

Or are you not as concerned when its applied directly to YOUR life?

Still taking that out of context are you? You don't give up very easily, do you?

 

[Follower of Christ]

Still taking that out of context are you? You don't give up very easily, do you?

Youre right, I dont give up at all.


Yeah ......we know the story.......everythings ALWAYS ''out of context'' when the barrel is pointing at you, isnt it

You dont fool me son.......
Ive seen your arrogant type a thousand times over the last 20 years.

Tell you what tho.......I had decided to back off and not get that list of scripture together to nail you and others here with............but I think Ive changed my mind again.

Just make sure you check back.
I have some questions for YOU to answer in front of all these fine folks you keep accusing........