Intimacy

[elephunky]

So, how much intimacy should be allow in a relationship? Some think that kissing someone your not married to, even though your in a relationship, is sexually immorally. Some think that its ok to do everything minus the actual act of intercourse.

Thoughts? Opinions? Arguments for either side?

 

[HuntingMan]

My thoughts are that, and believe me I wasnt innocent, the 'best' idea is to not do anything more than maybe a peck on the cheek before marriage. Kissing more heavily than that causes little boys be become aroused physically in many to most cases, even if they dont admit it, and I really think at the point where we're causing the other to become aroused by our behavior that we may be treading a line of danger (of UNmarried sex).
Thinking back I wish Id be a bit more careful.

 

[one11]

So, how much intimacy should be allow in a relationship? Some think that kissing someone your not married to, even though your in a relationship, is sexually immorally. Some think that its ok to do everything minus the actual act of intercourse.

Thoughts? Opinions? Arguments for either side?

If you have a guy who can kiss, hug and hold hands with you and share intimate thoughts with you and respect you enough to not go further until he is ready for marriage, you may have someone who really loves you. Sex is often confused for love when it really isn't.

Strive to become each other's best friend and enjoy your time getting to know each other on a deep level, and then go home.

I honestly know if a guy is willing to wait until marriage, he is worth having.

 

[elephunky]

Do you then think that hugging should be avoided?

 

[elephunky]

I always find it amusing that people seem to think that a kiss will lead to sex. To have sex is a concious decision, its not like one minute your kissing then OOPS look what happened!

 

[one11]

Do you then think that hugging should be avoided?

No, when I was your age and dating, I hugged all kinds of my male friends.

Still do, though I am being reconciled to my husband, and even when he was my husband, I still hugged males whether family, family friends, or friends.

But, I guess that is up to you if you are uncomfortable with it.

 

[elephunky]

I personally do not have issues with hugging, kissing, making out etc. Then again, im not a virgin, i cant help but think that there is a romanticised view of sex.

 

[HuntingMan]

I always find it amusing that people seem to think that a kiss will lead to sex. To have sex is a concious decision, its not like one minute your kissing then OOPS look what happened!

So let me ask....was the OP a question or merely bait ?
Im a 43 year old male and I KNOW how the male gender reacts to physical stimulus.
If you dont want to buy into that its entirely your choice, but...uh...*IF* that sort of stuff DIDNT lead to sex then we'd not see folks having sex to begin with except for procreation.

*I* always find it amusing that people can sit and honestly believe and claim that physical contact between men and women DOESNT lead to sex...
No, its not an 'oops' and I think you are exaggerating what I presented to the extreme.
When boys and girls play house many times sex happens....sorry but its simply a fact. One can either accept that fact or they can reject it and keep tempting the person theyre with before marriage

 

[HuntingMan]

I personally do not have issues with hugging, kissing, making out etc. Then again, im not a virgin, i cant help but think that there is a romanticised view of sex.

..nuff said.
"...the 'best' idea is to not do anything more than maybe a peck on the cheek before marriage.
*IF* the UNmarried were to do what I said in my first post NO unmarried sex would happen, now would it ?

 

[elephunky]

So let me ask....was the OP a question or merely bait ?

Its a question of peoples opinions and arguments for or against.

..nuff said.

Your point?

 

[HuntingMan]

Its a question of peoples opinions and arguments for or against.

Seems more like the question was more to get someone to respond just so you could disagree with them. Had I realized that coming in Id not have wasted time responding to the question.

Have a wonderful evening

 

[elephunky]

That may seem like it to you, but thats not its intention.

 

[Tissue]

I'm confused, HM. Because she disagrees with you, the topic is somehow less valid, or not a proper approach to discussion, or irrational, or at fault in some way?

I'm of the opinion that sex is best left to marriage as is traditional. Yet, I recognize that, statistically, Christians are no better than non-Christians in this respect. I also recognize that marriage is a social institution, and has changed immensely over the years, and has not always been under the domain of the church. Further, I recognize that marriage is very different across different cultures.

"No sex until marriage" is a dubious claim if unqualified, in light of these notions. I would be interested in seeing someone provide a reason for their support of this claim.

 

[Texas Lynn]

I think it's best left to the individuals, but the younger people are the more careful they should be.

 

[one11]

I'm confused, HM. Because she disagrees with you, the topic is somehow less valid, or not a proper approach to discussion, or irrational, or at fault in some way?

I'm of the opinion that sex is best left to marriage as is traditional. Yet, I recognize that, statistically, Christians are no better than non-Christians in this respect. I also recognize that marriage is a social institution, and has changed immensely over the years, and has not always been under the domain of the church. Further, I recognize that marriage is very different across different cultures.

"No sex until marriage" is a dubious claim if unqualified, in light of these notions. I would be interested in seeing someone provide a reason for their support of this claim.

I think HM is eluding to the fact that she already knows that answer at age 22. Why she is asking for opinions, I'm not really sure either?

If she had a struggle with this, that's a different matter altogether.

 

[Thaeoles]

I think HM is eluding to the fact that she already knows that answer at age 22. Why she is asking for opinions, I'm not really sure either?

If she had a struggle with this, that's a different matter altogether.

Maybe to justify her actions? Seems to me the most logical.

If you really want to know how God feels about promiscuity, read Ezekiel 16 and 23. It's pretty explicit on how God hates 'whoring'.

 

[elephunky]

whoring? making out with a partner isnt whoring.

I feel that some of the things stated in teh bible were really fashions of the time, culture of that date etc

 

[Thaeoles]

whoring? making out with a partner isnt whoring.

I feel that some of the things stated in teh bible were really fashions of the time, culture of that date etc

That's not what the Bible says. God does not change.

 

[elephunky]

Could it be possible that man manipulated it for his own advantage?

 

[Tissue]

That's not what the Bible says. God does not change.

Actually, I'm quite certain you believe God changes. What effectiveness would prayer have if God never changed?

At any rate, God is not the Bible.