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As I read before you said that I was thinking the same thing. "Justified rape". >.<Just like a woman who wears a tank top and a thong doesn't invite a rape
I'm just curious about this - you evidently know more about these guys and current pop culture than I ever will - it has just passed me by - but I did see a photograph of this Thicke guy taken at the VMAs (backstage) where he had his arm around a fan. What he didn't know was that there was a mirror behind him, and the mirror caught him squeezing the fan's behind. He is literally "cupping" her butt. (I'm describing rather than posting the image, but you can easily find it online). So if he was that outraged and is that crazy about his wife and that protective of his marriage, I can only say .. HUH? And I wish I had a really funny gif to sum up my confusion. I'm sure that someone can find one. Kind of a "say what?" moment.His behavior on the stage clearly highlighted his discomfort with her behavior. He engaged her at the start of the performance, like you'd figure two people in a duet would do, but when she walked by and grabbed his crotch, his performance totally changed. He didn't engage her, he didn't so much as look at her. He even even went so far as to obviously sing parts of his song that were supposed to be her parts. When she backed up in front of him, he didn't touch her, look at her, or even acknowledge her... He did look left and right to see if he could slide away (which he couldn't, they were on the narrow walkway) and then he looked up and away. When she got up, he took off. When she climbed on him and nibbled his neck, he didn't touch her, look at her, or interact with her. Gave no indication that it was part of the performance and certainly didn't indicate it was solicited. Then, at the end of the performance, another artist was introduced and what was supposed to be a 3-way musical performance was actually Miley relegated to a stage alone, out of camera view (the audience didn't even know she was there until the end) and Robin Thicke on the stage the absolute furthest from her as possible. He didn't do his bows with her, he didn't see her afterwards in the press room, and he wasn't seen with her again in the crowds. I'm not sure what he's accountable for in the performance. He indicated in his behavior he didn't want to participate, it wasn't what they rehearsed, and short of leaving the stage in what was probably a career-defining opportunity, I don't see what else he could have done to express he was a non-willing participant.
The discussion I think we should be having with our boys as a result of the whole incident is that just because you're a guy, just because you're supposed to "want" sex and "want" attention from women, that doesn't excuse a woman grabbing your crotch, climbing on you, pressing her tush against you and gyrating, and otherwise violating your body and sexuality. So he sang a song that's sexually charged that a lot of people apparently don't get, like, or think is raunchy. So what? Just like a woman who wears a tank top and a thong doesn't invite a rape, a man who sings a song about sex (sex with his wife I might add) doesn't invite a woman to invite however she wants on and with you. And we need to start teaching our girls some respect too, not for themselves, but for others. Let's face it, Miley Cyrus is 20 years old, she knows what she's doing and she's old enough to decide if this is the image she wants to cultivate for herself. If she wants to act like this, that's her business and her problem. We spend all this time teaching girls to respect themselves, respect their bodies, all that... But in the end, very little time telling them to respect men and men's bodies. If she wants to act like a hoochy fine, and if she wants to be sexually provocative... Whatever. The problem is that doesn't give her the right to do to others whatever she wishes. She can trash her own body, but not that of a guy 15 years older than her with a 16 year long relationship and a small child.
THAT was inappropriate.
And no, I'm not a fan of the man... And I don't like the song. I just feel bad that we're talking about his role of blame in this when, in actuality, he did nothing but sing a song and absolutely nobody called her out for how her behavior towards him wasn't right. Again, I think the assumption is that he's a guy and therefore he must "want it." Because what guy who's flirting with 40 wouldn't want a half naked girl grabbing his crotch and climbing him like a stripper pole?
So what can we do? In order to change the way we view women culturally, we need to change the way we view women individually. We need to call b***s*** on attempts to end domestic violence and misogyny towards women by only talking to our daughters. We need to talk to our sons and our brothers about respecting women and respecting themselves.
It starts in homes. It starts in small conversations that treat all people as worthy and equal. It starts with having the courage to speak out against the wide variety of forces in our society that objectify women.
It starts with understanding that as men, our value does not come from how much power we hold over women. Our value comes from being respected and being loved as we respect and love the people who matter to us.
As I read before you said that I was thinking the same thing. "Justified rape". >.<
I agree with everything you said. BTW who watches the VMAs? Its always been a disgusting show.
Did she read the lyrics before agreeing to do the song? She is just as much to blame as he is. In fact, just because they sing it, doesn't meant they have to act it out onstage. The lyrics are disgusting, but acting on it onstage is even worse. At least he had the class not to act on it. But both are in the wrong.
He had the class not to act on his lyrics? Have any of you seen his video?! Yeah, he's classy if your idea of class is a man that behaves like a pimp and promoting the idea that he knows better than a woman what she wants sexually. That's the definition of "blurred lines". Please, Robin Thicke defenders, watch his videos and read the lyrics. This guy also, btw, has sixteen years of life experience on Miley. Her act was gross, but she is only 20 and surrounded by people whose goal is to get her to do whatever possible to keep her famous and relevant. It's all working, but at what cost?
If my son was old enough to have seen this, I would be having a talk with him about how Robin Thicke is NOT the kind of man he should look up to as a role model regarding the treatment of women.
I don't think anyone is saying he is a victim. He is just as much to blame. The premise of the article is in the last three paragraphs that I quoted earlier....that we need to teach our sons and daughters to respect self and others. If Robin had been taught that it was wrong to make inappropriate contentographic lyrics and to treat women with respect, the song would not exist. But even if it did, if Miley was taught self respect and respect for men, she would not have groped and contributed to the women's oppression of sex objectivity.
It is never okay to write lyrics like that. It is never okay for her to grope him onstage, and it is never okay for him to cup a fan's butt. Everyone was in the wrong.
I'm just curious about this - you evidently know more about these guys and current pop culture than I ever will - it has just passed me by - but I did see a photograph of this Thicke guy taken at the VMAs (backstage) where he had his arm around a fan. What he didn't know was that there was a mirror behind him, and the mirror caught him squeezing the fan's behind. He is literally "cupping" her butt. (I'm describing rather than posting the image, but you can easily find it online). So if he was that outraged and is that crazy about his wife and that protective of his marriage, I can only say .. HUH? And I wish I had a really funny gif to sum up my confusion. I'm sure that someone can find one. Kind of a "say what?" moment.
If I could post the lyrics on here, I would. They are xrated though, and if CF will allow me to, I will post a link to the lyrics. There is no way that anyone can claim this was all Miley's doing, because she was just doing what the song said to do. Iow, she was being a good little submissive woman to the man.
Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines Lyrics
Now, in the case of the song, Miley was acting out the lyrics, plain and simple. That doesn't let her off the hook, at all. She still chose to do it. However, she didn't come up with those actions out of thin air. It's what the song laid out.
As to who watches those awards? Let me just say, it's not a 21 and over only audience. There were kids in the audience. What if a child happens to be up for a music award? They would be in that audience. So I am sorry but the whole thing was wrong, and Robin doesn't get off the hook.