Infertility and God's plan.

[Peble]

Infertility is treated on a couple of occassions in the bible. Unfortunately, due to the assumptions and beliefs of the day, it tends to be attributed to the female, which makes it harder for infertile men nowadays to relate to the message the bible or God wants to convey about the matter. Well, I happen to be (100%) sterile (found out recently), 34 and male, and somewhat sad about it all. You know, I was hoping to get married and perhaps put up family till a few days ago. Now I know that that is impossible for me. Also, I do not find adoption appealing, so I do not consider that to be an option for me.

Nevertheless, I have now taken up the belief that God has a plan for each and everyone of us - including myself -, so I am assuming that this did not happen by accident. I was wondering what his plan could/might be for someone in my situation. I'd appreciate any advice or opinions you might have to offer on the matter.

Thank you.

PS: Thank you for your input on my previous thread as well.

 

[joinfree]

Infertility is treated on a couple of occassions in the bible. Unfortunately, due to the assumptions and beliefs of the day, it tends to be attributed to the female, which makes it harder for infertile men nowadays to relate to the message the bible or God wants to convey about the matter. Well, I happen to be (100%) sterile (found out recently), 34 and male, and somewhat sad about it all. You know, I was hoping to get married and perhaps put up family till a few days ago. Now I know that that is impossible for me. Also, I do not find adoption appealing, so I do not consider that to be an option for me.

Nevertheless, I have now taken up the belief that God has a plan for each and everyone of us - including myself -, so I am assuming that this did not happen by accident. I was wondering what his plan could/might be for someone in my situation. I'd appreciate any advice or opinions you might have to offer on the matter.

Thank you.

PS: Thank you for your input on my previous thread as well.

The Original Sin is the disaster. So, the randomness came into the Plan. Remember, that Jesus has had the intention to save the Judas (need the quote?), but he has commited suicide. But the first try was miraculously prevented by Jesus. However the second try to commit suicide was deadly.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

Why don't you find adoption appealing? Maybe pray about it and ask God if this lack of interest is because it's not right for you or if it's because you are reacting to assumptions about adoption.

Not being able to have children doesn't necessarily mean staying single for life. You could marry someone who is also unable to have children, or maybe someone who has children from a previous relationship. I have a friend who was widowed young; she has since remarried and her child has a great relationship with her step dad.

I was wondering what his plan could/might be for someone in my situation.

Becoming a parent isn't the only thing in the world. Maybe God would have you become involved in a ministry that would be harder if you had children. I know missionaries who have had to leave the mission field for the sake of their children, and others who have had to draw back from working with very damaged people because of the risk to their kids. Also, there are many children and young people who are lacking stable parent figures in their lives. Maybe you could be involved in working with them.

It's always a bit of a shock to find out that you can't have kids though. Give yourself a little time to adjust. And keep asking the Lord what He would have you do with your life. There are so many possibilities - being childless doesn't have to be seen as a limitation or and ending, just a new direction.

 

[Knee V]

Have you ever considered monasticism?

 

[JackRT]

If you find a woman you wish to marry, the two of you might consider artificial insemination. My son-in-law was much like you, his sperm. were 98% infertile but in vitro fertilization worked for them. I have a 5 year old grandson

 

[com7fy8]

maybe someone who has children from a previous relationship.

I did not think of this. Anna seems to be giving you a very mature and complete answer.

I think it is a good point that marriage is not only for having children, though Malachi 2:14-15 does say the LORD makes two one that He may have "godly offspring". But the true fertility of this is how you and your lady are examples who can help your children to become truly God's way in their character and they can feed on how you two relate in love so they can grow up knowing how to relate in love in an intimate relationship.

So, what matters the most, I would say, is that your example is fertile!

This needs to be about what God wants; and, as you make it more and more all about God and not about you, I think you will be surprised by God with all the good He is able to do and share with you.

 

[Peble]

[double posted]

 

[Peble]

Have you ever considered monasticism?

The thought has been lingering in my mind since age 13 although I never acted on it. I've always chalked it up to my desire (and perhaps inability) to find God.

 

[Peble]

If you find a woman you wish to marry, the two of you might consider artificial insemination. My son-in-law was much like you, his sperm. were 98% infertile but in vitro fertilization worked for them. I have a 5 year old grandson

Unfortunately, even this is not an option for me. There is a minuscule chance I could be a candidate for IVF; however, that involves risking human (in their embryonic state) lives, so I'm not considering it as an option anyway.

 

[JackRT]

Unfortunately, even this is not an option for me. There is a minuscule chance I could be a candidate for IVF; however, that involves risking human (in their embryonic state) lives, so I'm not considering it as an option anyway.

In my daughter's case, three eggs were harvested and each were implanted with a viable sperm cell and all three were implanted in her uterus. My grandson resulted.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Infertility is treated on a couple of occassions in the bible. Unfortunately, due to the assumptions and beliefs of the day, it tends to be attributed to the female, which makes it harder for infertile men nowadays to relate to the message the bible or God wants to convey about the matter. Well, I happen to be (100%) sterile (found out recently), 34 and male, and somewhat sad about it all. You know, I was hoping to get married and perhaps put up family till a few days ago. Now I know that that is impossible for me. Also, I do not find adoption appealing, so I do not consider that to be an option for me.

Nevertheless, I have now taken up the belief that God has a plan for each and everyone of us - including myself -, so I am assuming that this did not happen by accident. I was wondering what his plan could/might be for someone in my situation. I'd appreciate any advice or opinions you might have to offer on the matter.

Thank you.

PS: Thank you for your input on my previous thread as well.

I am sure you will get some good advise around ways to deal with your situation if it does not change. However I would like to put forward a different angle. Over the years God has called me to pray for the sick, and from time to time hearings have occurred. Most recently a young woman was healed of Ulcerative Colitis, a bowl condition that involves bleeding and much pain. We and the church prayed for her and she according to her father was healed of it, and they were able to reduce medication right down. In the past other healing signs have occurred. If you are willing, I will get the church to pray for you too. And anyone else here who wants to pray along also. For with God, all things are possible. Note: I am not some how saying my prayer is any better than anyone elses, just over the years God has built in me a trust that he can heal so I offer it.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Infertility is treated on a couple of occassions in the bible. Unfortunately, due to the assumptions and beliefs of the day, it tends to be attributed to the female, which makes it harder for infertile men nowadays to relate to the message the bible or God wants to convey about the matter. Well, I happen to be (100%) sterile (found out recently), 34 and male, and somewhat sad about it all. You know, I was hoping to get married and perhaps put up family till a few days ago. Now I know that that is impossible for me.

What is impossible for you is not impossible for God. If you're not even married, I wouldn't worry about it. When you get married, just ask God. A doctor's word is not a prophecy from God.

 

[FireDragon76]

The thought has been lingering in my mind since age 13 although I never acted on it. I've always chalked it up to my desire (and perhaps inability) to find God.

It might be worth exploring. Or you could find a spouse who isn't particularly interested in having children, or who wants to adopt.

The world already has billions and billlions of people, anyways. Sometimes we don't get what we initially want out of life but that doesn't mean we cannot find other ways to live a meaningful life.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I happen to be (100%) sterile (found out recently), 34 and male, and somewhat sad about it all. You know, I was hoping to get married and perhaps put up family till a few days ago. Now I know that that is impossible for me. Also, I do not find adoption appealing, so I do not consider that to be an option for me.

Nevertheless, I have now taken up the belief that God has a plan for each and everyone of us - including myself -, so I am assuming that this did not happen by accident. I was wondering what his plan could/might be for someone in my situation. I'd appreciate any advice or opinions you might have to offer on the matter.

Thank you.

PS: Thank you for your input on my previous thread as well.

Although for many people it appears to be God's plan, it can be a tough one. I am remarried to a lady that never had children for some reason? Probably like yourself she is infertile? Although I know in many ways this leaves an empty spot in her heart she is an elementary school teacher and fortunately does get to touch many little lives.

I would recommend that someday possibly you become a volunteer as a big brother or maybe a Sunday school teacher so as to give you some special time with children.

Maybe occasionally borrow a kid for the day and take them to the zoo. Many, many parents are looking for a break.

M-Bob

 

[Peble]

I am sure you will get some good advise around ways to deal with your situation if it does not change. However I would like to put forward a different angle. Over the years God has called me to pray for the sick, and from time to time hearings have occurred. Most recently a young woman was healed of Ulcerative Colitis, a bowl condition that involves bleeding and much pain. We and the church prayed for her and she according to her father was healed of it, and they were able to reduce medication right down. In the past other healing signs have occurred. If you are willing, I will get the church to pray for you too. And anyone else here who wants to pray along also. For with God, all things are possible. Note: I am not some how saying my prayer is any better than anyone elses, just over the years God has built in me a trust that he can heal so I offer it.

I would appreciate that very much as my only hope is indeed a miracle. Having said that, I must admit that I am unworthy of such grace, so I'd be quite pessimistic about my chances. Nonetheless, I like the idea very much and I thank you and your church in advance. I will let you know on here should something unexpected happen.

 

[Peble]

What is impossible for you is not impossible for God. If you're not even married, I wouldn't worry about it. When you get married, just ask God. A doctor's word is not a prophecy from God.

I understand your point and it makes perfect sense. Infertility, however, does make it harder to marry. How do I go about telling a woman my age who wants children (the kind of woman I was (am?) looking for) that she will not have any if she loves and marries me? You know, I've been utterly crushed.

Indeed, I am praying to God. Actually, I just tell him that I am in trouble. I avoid asking anything from God and I do not expect anything from God these days. It hurts less when it becomes evident that his plans do not include anything I was hoping for.

 

[Peble]

It might be worth exploring. Or you could find a spouse who isn't particularly interested in having children, or who wants to adopt.

The world already has billions and billlions of people, anyways. Sometimes we don't get what we initially want out of life but that doesn't mean we cannot find other ways to live a meaningful life.

I don't know how to explain this really but have you ever come across a 20 year old declared atheist having recurring thought of joining a monastery (i.e. a community of Catholic monks) while having the time of his life and doing all he can to distance himself from the idea? Well, that's how it's been since I was a teen (13-ish). Total confusion.

Anyhow, in the process, I've hurt a lot of good people who loved me with my carelessness (ex. ex-girlfriends). I've even 'preached' atheism and ridiculed believers and I can't but think of Luke 17:1-2 whenever I ponder that. What am trying to say is that I am not going to be going back crawling to God after having done those things. I'm already quite surprised that I had the audacity to actually pray when I finally realised that I was doomed. I'm afraid that I am having it light compared to what I actually deserve and to what's in store for me once I die.

 

[Peble]

Although for many people it appears to be God's plan, it can be a tough one. I am remarried to a lady that never had children for some reason? Probably like yourself she is infertile? Although I know in many ways this leaves an empty spot in her heart she is an elementary school teacher and fortunately does get to touch many little lives.

I would recommend that someday possibly you become a volunteer as a big brother or maybe a Sunday school teacher so as to give you some special time with children.

Maybe occasionally borrow a kid for the day and take them to the zoo. Many, many parents are looking for a break.

M-Bob

It's tough. It is crushing. I've never felt less of a man in my entire life but I'll hang on.

Volunteering is a great idea. I'll look into it. I do think that it is time for me to give something back. Ta.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

As long as we are still breathing we are not doomed.

What I think to be one of the best little prayers.
Lord have mercy on me a sinner.
M-Bob

 

[AnnaDeborah]

Your value as a man does not depend on your ability to have children.

NONE of us deserve ANYTHING from God. We are ALL sinners - that's why Jesus had to die for us, so that through His sacrifice, we could be reconciled to God. But He is a loving Father.

God loves you, and He has a plan and purpose for your life.