CR, I ran across something I was reading today on the
GOARCH website about sacraments, and it made me think of you. It might make a little more sense of the idea of baptism and how that works - especially if you have the impression that we regard it as kind of "magical" and without any necessary faith at all on the part of man.
Anyway, here's the excerpt, and the link to the entire article should be above. (the added emphasis via bolding is mine)
HUMAN RESPONSE.
It is important now to emphasize the human factor as well,
since salvation is accomplished by God in cooperation (synergy) with humanity. "The incorporation of man into Christ and his union with God require cooperation of two unequal, but equally necessary forces: divine grace and human will" (Lev Gillet). The holy mysteries are neither magic nor mechanical operations. As the seed gives forth according to the ground into which it was planted, so
the full effectiveness of the sacramental life is made manifest to a greater or lesser degree by the spiritual awareness, the faith and the devoutness of the partiapants. Yet no one, unless he has blasphemed against the Holy Spirit, is left without some measure of grace, since the sun rises and shines upon all.
The holy mysteries are continually embracing, taking up and transforming the deepest and most fundamental human experiences. Intensely personal and at the same time intensely communal, the holy mysteries continuously and simultaneously renew the spirit of persons "who have put on the new man, which was created according to God, in righteousness and holiness" (Eph. 4:24); they prepare the saints for the work of the ministry, until all come to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature manhood, and to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ (Eph. 4:12-13).
As each holy mystery has its outward signs, which manifest the work of the Spirit, so each Christian life, sharing in the power of the holy mysteries, itself becomes a sacrament.
As God permits and to the extent the will is sensitized, the mind is illumined and the heart is energized and made pure. Those who are Christ's, live and walk in the Spirit and the Spirit bears fruit in them: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control (Gal. 5:22-25).
--- end quoted section
By the way, I thought it was included here, but it must have been in another section, but the article also discussed baptism, in a sense, as a process.
I hope this helps and doesn't further complicate matters.

God be with you!