I'm spiritually burned out and feel like I'll end up in hell no matter what.

[theoneandonlypencil]

Hi there everyone!

I just made my account to this forum, specifically, so I could get this off of my chest. I tend to ramble and have a hard time condensing my points, so please bear with me if this comes out too long.

Let me preface by saying that the past 2 or 3 years, I consider myself to have been a very 'lukewarm' Christian. Yes, I preached the Gospel and I was passionate about God when I did, but I was not always thinking about God and I fell into some bad habits. I swore, was surrounded with unbelievers, became very petty and argumentative at times, hated other people sometimes too, and engaged in some very...question online sexual behavior with someone I dated long distance for several years.

This past year was hard. I broke up with my ex to be with my best friend(someone I've had more unconditional and pure love for more than anyone I've met to date), several of my friends either left or betrayed me, and I was going in and out of depression. I hit rock bottom, and once I did, I realized how much I'd been neglecting my faith and how bad that had been for me. Up until that point, I thought I had been saved and that I could just say a quick prayer each night, evangelize here and there, avoid breaking the ten commandments and I would be peachy-keen.

After I realized all of this, I started spending hours every day reading different parts of scripture and reading debates about theology and morality, listening to sermon after sermon by all kinds of pastors from different denominations, learning about the denominations themselves, and overall trying to better myself as a Christian. Sure, it was hard sometimes. I'd hit a wall or point of uncertainty and think 'heck, it'd be so much easier to just give up on all of this' but you know? Being an atheist and believing in 'whatever goes, goes' would be 100 times scarier and more stressful than anything I could face as a Christian. I love God and I refused to give up, and each time even when I got to the point where I'd contemplate the unthinkable, I'd come out of it feeling better and stronger than ever.

I think I've matured more spiritually in the last month that I have in my entire life, and I've been sharing my knowledge with everyone I know. I thank God all of the time for the wonderful people in my life, for pulling me through the hard times, and for all of the gifts and talents he's given me(art, music, writing and programming to name a few). Heck, my current boyfriend was atheist before we started dating, and even he's become very dedicated to Christ and wanting to grow spiritually. On top of all that,I also have started looking for churches in my area and plan on getting baptized a second time(I was baptized as a baby, but I really want to have the memory/experience of it now so I can have it as long as I live as a testimony to my love of Christ)

Now then, that sounds all great right? Well, it would be, except if that's all I had to say, the title of this post would be very different.

Here's the problem; no matter how far I believe I've come as a Christian, I still feel like I'll end up in hell and it's making me spiritually exhausted. In particular, I've been wrestling with the fear of whether or not listening to secular media or watching TV is a sin. Because if it is indeed a sin, and I don't repent--I'll go to hell, yes? I mean I don't consider anything I watch or listen to to be that bad. I have a high tolerance for swearing and (sometimes?)violence but no nudity or sex scenes at all when it comes to movies(I really enjoy anime for example); and when it comes to music, so long as it's not talking about sex(I'm pretty 'eh' if it's only implied to an extent)and it's not encouraging debauchery or anything satanic, I consider it to be okay.

None of those things tempt me to sin, and to be quite honest even after reading scripture I've never felt as though I was being 'convicted' of anything by just seeing or hearing stuff like that. Like when it comes to movies, I have no problem if a character has an alcohol addiction/is promiscuous so long as it's present as the character's 'vice' and it's not glorifying that kind of behavior. The only time I've felt doubtful is when I read devout Christians talking about how 'even seeing or hearing something that God hates is a sin' and that all secular media is mindless garbage(which, granted, a lot of it is; but I don't consider what I enjoy to be in that group). I always try to look for the good in what I watch and listen to, or just take it in as an expression of how flawed humanity is.

I've already read most of the major scripture addressing these things(The psalm about 'setting no wicked thing before my eyes', the philippians litmus test, etc)and even if I try to apply those scriptures, for me personally I just didn't feel convicted outside of other people's opinions. It doesn't help that I've been enjoying a lot of Paul Washer's sermons, and while I agree with 99% of what he preaches, he REALLY seems like he would not approve of my taste in music or movies.

I guess I feel like if I don't match the holiness of the other people who believe these things, I'll lose my salvation or will be considered 'lukewarm'. I could give up any of these things, but I want to make sure it's because of GOD--not other people's opinions--if I can help it, since I really value having a, albeit reasonable, sense of Christian liberty. Even when people say 'it's okay, you won't go to hell' or 'it's fine to watch/listen to those things' part of me is also like what if they're wrong though? I understand we live in a day and culture where people do not respect God's word as they should, and like Paul Washer talks about there are lots more 'lukewarm' Christians than most of us probably believe.

Any advice would be appreciated. I'm really just sick over this because I truly want to be as good as I can while still enjoying a little bit of this life and I AM TERRIFIED of going to hell...and I know full well that God can and will send me there unless I act correctly.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Welcome to CF. I hope that you find some inspiration here.

God is patient, not willing that any of us should perish. If you are truly distressed by these behaviors you will eventually change. You might just have to get really sick and tired of it first (been there, done that). God bless.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Welcome to CF. I hope that you find some inspiration here.

God is patient, not willing that any of us should perish. If you are truly distressed by these behaviors you will eventually change. You might just have to get really sick and tired of it first (been there, done that). God bless.

I'm not necessarily distressed by anything I do, as I said--I'm just scared I won't measure up to the other Christians and end up in hell. I'm scared of what THEY tell me is sin.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Here's the problem; no matter how far I believe I've come as a Christian, I still feel like I'll end up in hell and it's making me spiritually exhausted. In particular, I've been wrestling with the fear of whether or not listening to secular media or watching TV is a sin.

Good to find out now, while it is possible.

We cannot "get out" of this world, but we are "called out" of society, and "set apart" as well as "born again" BY THE WILL OF ABBA YAHUWEH (The Father in Heaven).

As for tv, politics, entertainment, society, religious leaders,
He says do not trust nor rely on them -
instead,
trust and rely on the Father in heaven FOR EVERYTHING, including everything TODAY,
and always.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I'm scared of what THEY tell me is sin.

What does JESUS, and the FATHER, with ALL SCRIPTURE< say clearly IS SIN ?

 

[Faith712]

To not be a lukewarm christian, you must go all the way, 100%. To go 100%, we as followers of Christ must abstain from ALL evil. God gave us his perfect will in The Holy Bible, it tells us what to do and what not to do. Follow The Bible as best as you can, but it has to be 100%. If it is 50% or 80%, then it won't do. We NEED to follow him and walk in his ways, 100% to the best of our abilities.

To follow The Bible 100% is hard to do, BUT that is what we must do. The thing is, if you believe in Christ and were truly changed, then you won't burn in Hell. All we have to do is believe and be willing and be changed and you won't burn in Hell.

So, if you really mean that you love Jesus and God, if you REALLY mean it, there's nothing to worry about.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

So, if you really mean that you love Jesus and God, if you REALLY mean it, there's nothing to worry about.

Not to worry , true. "Be anxious for nothing" , taking everything to the Father in prayer.

But , still, in Hebrews, to believers, it is written "Be terrified" lest anyone of you (believers) fall due to the temptations/deception of sin and fall short of the mark (perhaps not enduring to the end? ) .

i.e. many warnings TO EKKLESIA as written in the New Testament, and even from Jesus to the Apostles and disciples(students) He Taught Himself. Remember many of His Own Students walked away from Him, and HE even asked the Apostles if they also would leave Him.... a serious possibility today also, to consider and stay in prayer.

 

[Faith712]

Not to worry , true. "Be anxious for nothing" , taking everything to the Father in prayer.

But , still, in Hebrews, to believers, it is written "Be terrified" lest anyone of you (believers) fall due to the temptations/deception of sin and fall short of the mark (perhaps not enduring to the end? ) .

i.e. many warnings TO EKKLESIA as written in the New Testament, and even from Jesus to the Apostles and disciples(students) He Taught Himself. Remember many of His Own Students walked away from Him, and HE even asked the Apostles if they also would leave Him.... a serious possibility today also, to consider and stay in prayer.

Yes, we definitely must know to fear God and fear Hell. We must respect God and Hell.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

To not be a lukewarm christian, you must go all the way, 100%. To go 100%, we as followers of Christ must abstain from ALL evil. God gave us his perfect will in The Holy Bible, it tells us what to do and what not to do. Follow The Bible as best as you can, but it has to be 100%. If it is 50% or 80%, then it won't do. We NEED to follow him and walk in his ways, 100% to the best of our abilities.

To follow The Bible 100% is hard to do, BUT that is what we must do. The thing is, if you believe in Christ and were truly changed, then you won't burn in Hell. All we have to do is believe and be willing and be changed and you won't burn in Hell.

So, if you really mean that you love Jesus and God, if you REALLY mean it, there's nothing to worry about.

I understand that, but what does that even really mean? If I give my 100%, what if it's not the same 100% that other people give?

Despite what people imply about secular media, there is no scripture or verse saying you cannot watch/hear something that shows about sin. 'Shows' is a keyword there, since as I mentioned I'm careful to avoid stuff that outright glorifies or overtly goes against God. I believe in Jesus Christ with all of my heart and soul, but is watching a movie that happens to have some cussing or something in it a sin? I consider most media to be a reflection of what the world is like, and I wouldn't consider seeing a man becoming drunk in a movie to be any different than if I witnessed a drunkard out on the street. I don't feel compelled to sin after seeing it, and it's usually only a minor part of a bigger story.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Good to find out now, while it is possible.

We cannot "get out" of this world, but we are "called out" of society, and "set apart" as well as "born again" BY THE WILL OF ABBA YAHUWEH (The Father in Heaven).

As for tv, politics, entertainment, society, religious leaders,
He says do not trust nor rely on them -
instead,
trust and rely on the Father in heaven FOR EVERYTHING, including everything TODAY,
and always.

What does JESUS, and the FATHER, with ALL SCRIPTURE< say clearly IS SIN ?

Not to worry , true. "Be anxious for nothing" , taking everything to the Father in prayer.

But , still, in Hebrews, to believers, it is written "Be terrified" lest anyone of you (believers) fall due to the temptations/deception of sin and fall short of the mark (perhaps not enduring to the end? ) .

i.e. many warnings TO EKKLESIA as written in the New Testament, and even from Jesus to the Apostles and disciples(students) He Taught Himself. Remember many of His Own Students walked away from Him, and HE even asked the Apostles if they also would leave Him.... a serious possibility today also, to consider and stay in prayer.

Like I said to Faith, scripture doesn't even say whether or not watching movies or listening to secular music is a sin. Sure it gives guidelines, but even then for me, I watch significantly more good things that stuff in which sin is depicted and I do not feel compelled to sin afterward either.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

scripture doesn't even say whether or not watching movies or listening to secular music is a sin.

Consider the television a statue, and idol if you will.

Is it better to spend time with the SAVIOR JESUS, and HIS FATHER YAHUWEH, Who hold our souls in their hands, for eternity,

or sitting in front of a 'statue'/ 'idol' ?

 

[Faith712]

I understand that, but what does that even really mean? If I give my 100%, what if it's not the same 100% that other people give?

It doesn't matter, you gave YOUR 100%. That's all that matters. Do not compare your walk with Christ with others' walk. Compare it to the one we are walking with, which is Jesus. Make your walk mirror his, follow in his footsteps as best as you can, that's what I mean by "going 100%".

Despite what people imply about secular media, there is no scripture or verse saying you cannot watch/hear something that shows about sin. 'Shows' is a keyword there, since as I mentioned I'm careful to avoid stuff that outright glorifies or overtly goes against God. I believe in Jesus Christ with all of my heart and soul, but is watching a movie that happens to have some cussing or something in it a sin? I consider most media to be a reflection of what the world is like, and I wouldn't consider seeing a man becoming drunk in a movie to be any different than if I witnessed a drunkard out on the street. I don't feel compelled to sin after seeing it, and it's usually only a minor part of a bigger story.

It doesn't matter what others tell you what sin is. You have to read The Bible yourself and do your best.

Would Jesus want you watching those movies?

Actually, The Old Testament shows that no, you should not be watching things that have sin in them. We can build up a tolerance to sin and that can actually "quench" The Holy Spirit.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Consider the television a statue, and idol if you will.

Is it better to spend time with the SAVIOR JESUS, and HIS FATHER YAHUWEH, Who hold our souls in their hands, for eternity,

or sitting in front of a 'statue'/ 'idol' ?

It's not a statue or an idol. As an entertainment device, even then it's certainly not an idol for me; since I do not put it above God or Jesus at all. The time I spend thinking about God/Jesus far outweighs the amount I watch TV. I simply want to know whether or not enjoying secular media falls under Christian Liberty.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

It doesn't matter, you gave YOUR 100%. That's all that matters. Do not compare your walk with Christ with others' walk. Compare it to the one we are walking with, which is Jesus. Make your walk mirror his, follow in his footsteps as best as you can, that's what I mean by "going 100%".



It doesn't matter what others tell you what sin is. You have to read The Bible yourself and do your best.

Would Jesus want you watching those movies?

Actually, The Old Testament shows that no, you should not be watching things that have sin in them. We can build up a tolerance to sin and that can actually "quench" The Holy Spirit.

I understand. I do think though that there's a difference between what I'm talking about and what the old testament means(I'm not even sure what verse you're quoting). I want to know point-blank if it's a sin, so long as it does not affect my walk with Christ and cause me to stumble. As I said, I don't watch anything trashy or sin-filled. I'm talking about media where sin is present(not the focus), but shown for what it is; behavior that has consequences, and is approached from a neutral standpoint. Not glorifying it.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I simply want to know whether or not enjoying secular media falls under Christian Liberty.

No.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Galatians 5:17 For the flesh craves what is contrary to the ...
Galatians 5:17 For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want.
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Berean Study Bible. For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.

 

[Faith712]

I understand. I do think though that there's a difference between what I'm talking about and what the old testament means(I'm not even sure what verse you're quoting). I want to know point-blank if it's a sin, so long as it does not affect my walk with Christ and cause me to stumble. As I said, I don't watch anything trashy or sin-filled. I'm talking about media where sin is present(not the focus), but shown for what it is; behavior that has consequences, and is approached from a neutral standpoint. Not glorifying it.

Okay, okay. I get what you're saying. That kind of media is rare or at least I only find it sometimes on The Hallmark channel.

Again, read The Bible and pray to God about it. Stay with the answer The Holy Bible and God gives you.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Crucified Unto Me - Watchman Nee (CLC) - www3.telus.net

www3.telus.net › trbrooks › crucified_unto_me
A woman in a humble kitchen can touch the world and its complacency even while cooking the daily meal or entertaining guests.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Okay, okay. I get what you're saying. That kind of media is rare or at least I only find it sometimes on The Hallmark channel.

Again, read The Bible and pray to God about it. Stay with the answer The Holy Bible and God gives you.

I will. Thank you for your advice.

 

[AlexDTX]

Hi there everyone!

I just made my account to this forum, specifically, so I could get this off of my chest. I tend to ramble and have a hard time condensing my points, so please bear with me if this comes out too long.

There is nothing that can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus because God is reconciled to the world through Christ. If you have the new birth, knowing you were a sinner, and believe in what Jesus has done, you are a saint already in heaven by your spirit.

Heaven and Hell are non issues for those born again. Following Christ's example and living as Christ called us to live is not a matter of works but faith. How well or poorly we follow his example impacts only our quality of life now. It does not separate us from God. But it does affect how much God's blessings flow upon us.

Elijah was a failure in that he only did one out of three things God told him to do. Elisha, his disciple completed those other two things. Yet Elijah was allowed to by pass death and go to heaven in what seems to be a flying chariot. Why? Because Elijah loved God and God loved him. This is what being a Christian is about.