I'm really afraid that I might be evil

[The Blue Stare]

because you WILL have God on your side.

How do you know that?

I've been hyperventilating and everything now, I'm scared.I want Jesus

 

[Antoinette.Marie]

I know because I know. If you have asked God for forgiveness of your sins, have professed that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and have given your life completely to Him, there is NO WAY you are not saved. He is with you, through the good times and bad. Trust me.

 

[JoyWillCome]

Jesus died so that we would be free from sin, so you are free! You don't have to be afraid of it. God loves you.

 

[Purified]

This is what I will say to you about your problem:

The thoughts that you have... the negative feelings and the doubt about God loving you is Satan trying to bring you down. HE is putting those thoughts in your head and you must rebuke him from your thoughts.

Tell Satan that you are free of him in Jesus' name. Command him that you are in charge and that only God can influence your body, soul and mind. You are a child of God and no other's. Satan is a burden upon you and he has no business around you.

Did you know that every time Satan hears Jesus' name he trembles in fear? Everything you say to rebuke him, say that what you say is in Jesus' name to him. He will flee from you and God will protect and comfort you.

Take control of this evil spirit, don't let it control you. When God is with you NOTHING can harm you, and you must have faith in the Lord that he will protect you.

Remember, you're a child of God. I have prayed for you and I believe in Jesus' name that these doubts will no longer plague you. I will keep to this prayer and remember to pray for you every day.

 

[Antoinette.Marie]

This is what I will say to you about your problem:

The thoughts that you have... the negative feelings and the doubt about God loving you is Satan trying to bring you down. HE is putting those thoughts in your head and you must rebuke him from your thoughts.

Tell Satan that you are free of him in Jesus' name. Command him that you are in charge and that only God can influence your body, soul and mind. You are a child of God and no other's. Satan is a burden upon you and he has no business around you.

Did you know that every time Satan hears Jesus' name he trembles in fear? Everything you say to rebuke him, say that what you say is in Jesus' name to him. He will flee from you and God will protect and comfort you.

Take control of this evil spirit, don't let it control you. When God is with you NOTHING can harm you, and you must have faith in the Lord that he will protect you.

Remember, you're a child of God. I have prayed for you and I believe in Jesus' name that these doubts will no longer plague you. I will keep to this prayer and remember to pray for you every day.

 

[julian the apostate]

blue stare, blue stare

(i havent read this whole topic , but)))

you may have a form of ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder) that causes you to have unwelcome thoughts that you do not endorse or even believe

your mind then turns around and ruminates on these things endlessly causing you even more grief - which makes you depressed, which makes you think you are not a christian

so you ruminate and think on it some more

it can also manifest itself as religous scrupulosity,, a sort of nagging feeling that you are always in sin , have sinned or about to commit yet another sin to the point that you cant sense the presence of God

another name for this is "the doubting disease"

this link isnt perfect but - - it will give you some idea from real people who have this disease

http://www.thereisocdhope.com/scruptestimony.html

 

[The Blue Stare]

Umm that scrupulosity/OCD thing you posted sounds exactly like what's happening to me, though maybe it actually isn't. When I read what it was like in the link my jaw dropped because it couldn't be a more accurate description of what's happening to me. But at the same time, ever since I read it the unintentional bad thoughts thing hasn't gone away but I've turned apathetic towards it which scares me now that it doesn't scare me. Now I'm puzzled as to whether it was even that in the first place or not, which almost gets me right back to where I started. I was suspecting that I might have an imposter version of it and now it's just more believable. I can't figure out what's going on. But uh for the past few years I've had a lot of other distressing obsessional and intrusive thoughts very similar to what was described in some of the other links on that site as well, but that doesn't explain the other thing. And I never actually started doing any compulsive things until this (possible) scrupulosity thing started happening about a week ago.

 

[SH89]

When I try to pray I get bad thoughts. Like "F" god or when I'm trying to read the bible I get "this is BullSh**" then I say my s

Wow, i and many people i have talked with can really relate! I had many strange thoughts when i first became a christian(doubting my salvation etc.) Even today, when i talk about biblical doctrine i get thoughts like"you dont know what your talking about" and "they wont understand". One time i received a thought that said, "why read the bible? Who says you should?" I answered, well what did Jesus say? Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.

When i first started going to church, I received thoughts like " look at all these hypocrites" and "they are all judging you".

We know that these little common demons are just trying to steal the word from being taught and received. (luke 8:12)

 

[julian the apostate]

bluestare<<<but I've turned apathetic towards it which scares me now that it doesn't scare me. Now I'm puzzled as to whether it was even that in the first place or not, which almost gets me right back to where I started. I was suspecting that I might have an imposter version of it and now it's just more believable


exactly the way someone with ocd would think

i know , i have it

it is called the doubting disease, the nagging feeling that you didnt turn out the light lock the door, or do something just right
only in our case the doubts are of a religous nature

and the unwanted thoughts are a big component of it

if you dont mind me asking,

what is your religous background, i have other links (christian) that i could link if you want more information

 

[SH89]

I'm afraid God doesn't want me to be saved anymore. I'm trembling and going into a panic attack...

Dont worry! Jesus said that for any reason that he will not cast you out!(john 6:37)

If God doesn't want you to be saved, then why did he seal you with his Spirit for eternity? (ephesians 1:13, 4:30)

Jesus said that he would leave you comfortless, he will come to you.

 

[The Blue Stare]

It's only getting worse (I thought it would stay the same) and I'm praying for the courage to tell somebody who can help. I can only pray that all this really is is scrupulosity. I don't wan't these thoughts and I have to hit myself in the head or punch my thigh to keep stopping them. I read that sometimes it never goes away and I'm really scared that this might be the rest of my life now whether I get help or not, constantly living in fear because of something I honestly can't control. I can't bear to keep having these thoughts about God, I feel like a pile of slime that this is even happening to me. I noticed that I appear to be having a few other regular OCD problems as well (i'm not jumping to any conclusions) but all I care about right now is making this scrupulosity stop first.

 

[FoundInJesus]

Maybe you should look into finding a good, Christian counselor or therapist who deals with things like this. There is help out there.

 

[julian the apostate]

quote from a website

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder where part of your mind tries to throw painful thoughts at you in order to increase your stress level. The reason you get recurrent thoughts about sin rather than thoughts about happy things is that these thoughts pain you. That's what the condition tries to do: Give you painful thoughts.

As a result, you are shouldering a particular kind of cross--or, to use a better analogy--you are wearing a particular crown of thorns. That means that you are especially close to Jesus' heart, because that he looks with special compassion on those who suffer in this manner.

from another website: http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php

(pure o , means obsessional thoughts, the spike is the thoughts you dont like)

For the "Pure-O" a tremendous amount of anxiety accompanies the spike, and the mental ritual is an attempt to shut off the anxiety, either by attempting to solve the question or avoid having the thought recur. It is during the rumination phase that the person's mind becomes extremely preoccupied and distracted. Spending eight hours a day with one's thoughts wrapped up with this endless mental escape is not unusual. The emotional pull to undue the thought is tremendous. Perhaps it would be comparable to what it would be like if a loved one were on a plane that crashed and all you knew was that there was a fifty percent survival rate. Imagine what it would be like if you were asked not to problem solve in an attempt to ascertain the condition of your loved one. A common misnomer among "Pure-O" sufferers is that they can mentally find the key to turn off the obsessing. It seems that with each new spike, if they could only get that perfect answer, the whole disorder would just vanish. A large majority are aware that this is an impossible task, but the temptation to unlock their mental chains is tremendous with each ensuing spike.

The pertinent issue, though, is not how or why these thoughts become out of control, but what to do about them when they're racing around in one's head eight hours a day. Before discussing what works, first it is critical to discuss what does not work.


Thought stopping, either through shouting "STOP" or snapping a rubber band in response to the spike is clearly not recommended and may actually be detrimental. As discussed previously, this technique would in effect sensitize the brain to the unwanted thought by alerting the "R" that potential punishment is associated with the spike. Theoretically, the spikes would thus increase due to this heightened sensitivity. Future research may bare this out.


click that link, read let me know what you think

 

[The Blue Stare]

I'll be getting some help soon. I prayed hard for God to give me the courage to tell my mom what's been happening and in attempt to do so I had an anxiety attack and scared her so at that point i had to tell her anyway. I feel so stupid and extremely embarrased now, but I thank God for answering my prayer.

 

[Daughter of His]

I'm very happy your Mom knows and that you will get some help ! I'm praising God with you !

 

[JoyWillCome]

I only felt better for a couple of days, now I can barely even get to sleep anymore. I thought I was doing good.

I'm absolutely paranoid that I will upset God. I can't stop worrying. I'm really afraid that God won't forgive me for some of the stuff I've done before. I wish I was never born, being a Christian is so hard. I want to please God but I don't know what to do.

God loves you, He promised that if you ask forgiveness, He will forget your sins. He promised, just look how many times Isreal turned away, He always forgives!!! HE LOVES YOU!!

 

[maddawgz]

I'm really afraid that I might be evil

that in itself is a negative statment and will cause panic ur not evil..do u have any evidence u are?? see how it works? Regards md