How does this relate to the subject? Are you trying to say that God causes me to disbelieve in Calvinism? No one is saying we can just choose to believe anything at any time. That's a strawman. However, we are all presented with clear choices are various points in our lives and we choose. And it's not always choosing the one good option. There may be several good job options for example. I can see nothing in scripture that says God in any way fixes those choices beforehand.
In regard to Calvinism, yes, once I understood it, I was presented with a clear choice to go forward and embrace it, despite it's more distasteful portions or to see what other options were available. The Crux of the matter came down to searching for what scripture said. But certainly, there was a point where I could have gone either way and had to make a free-will decision.