If I dont have God, then I have no one to help me

[MCA]

I am a sufferer of major depression. I also have anxiety and panic on top of that. I just got through seeing a counselor from a church. He said I need the Holy Spirit to help me with my pain and depression. I tried my best to believe and I told him I was an agnostic that prayed. I said i kind of believe, but a big part of me doesn't. I have suffered believing since my college years. I am 30 now. I went out of the meeting almost feeling worse than before, because now I am reliving my intense days of doubting and unbelief, and now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God. So i feel worse now,having major depression and now battling my old battles of unbelief, both of which are almost unbearable. The other night i had the worst dream i ever had. All i did was toss and turn, in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe. Like a trapped feeling, hard to explain, but it was agonizing. They say the separation of God is hell, or something rather, well that is the life i live. A man who is aware of his separation from God. It is very painful.

Please if you are reading this, do no misinterpret me. I am not a Bible bashing atheist agnostic or what have you. I grew up in private baptist schools all my life up until college, which is the place that changed feelings about God. I just feel hopeless now. Thanks for reading.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God.

Simply, this is truth.
Everyone, everywhere, likewise - believe in God, trust God, or not. That's the choice to make.
Trust Jesus, or not.
Obey Jesus, or not.
Call on Jesus, or not.
He is the good and faithful healer.
He is the one who sets us free from sin, guilt, shame, and condemnation.

On a side-note, often important today; nutrition often plays a big role in how we feel , from elated and free and healthy,
to discouraged and bound up and sickly.

A trained health care professional or aide with enough experience and observation
may help a lot in many cases, God Willing. (with nutritional deficiencies , imbalances, and toxicities (needing whole-body cleansing, liver support, adrenal helps, thyroid support, etc - all inexpensive when discovered , and non-harmful,
especially compared to regular druglord protocols) ..... )

 

[Braydeno]

I don't know what its like from an agnostic's point of view, but have you tried denying the flesh? when i first came to god that's what i did, and it worked, if you haven't, give it a try. depression and apathy, despair, even self pity(I have trouble with these because i have trouble denying the flesh) if you got any of those emotions he'll literally smarten you out of them when denying the flesh. from what i learned so far, denying the flesh is a way of showing you want the spirit and that you seek heaven enough to stop doing or consuming the things you enjoy.

 

[RaymondG]

When you say you dont believe or that you suffer from unbelief....what is it that you feel you have to believe? And what is belief to you?

 

[RaymondG]

I don't know what its like from an agnostic's point of view, but have you tried denying the flesh? when i first came to god that's what i did, and it worked, if you haven't, give it a try. depression and apathy, despair, even self pity(I have trouble with these because i have trouble denying the flesh) if you got any of those emotions he'll literally smarten you out of them when denying the flesh. from what i learned so far, denying the flesh is a way of showing you want the spirit and that you seek heaven enough to stop doing or consuming the things you enjoy.

It would be helpful if you mention what you believe "denying the flesh" is and what you did, when you say you practiced it.

 

[xianghua]

I am a sufferer of major depression. I also have anxiety and panic on top of that. I just got through seeing a counselor from a church. He said I need the Holy Spirit to help me with my pain and depression. I tried my best to believe and I told him I was an agnostic that prayed. I said i kind of believe, but a big part of me doesn't. I have suffered believing since my college years. I am 30 now. I went out of the meeting almost feeling worse than before, because now I am reliving my intense days of doubting and unbelief, and now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God. So i feel worse now,having major depression and now battling my old battles of unbelief, both of which are almost unbearable. The other night i had the worst dream i ever had. All i did was toss and turn, in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe. Like a trapped feeling, hard to explain, but it was agonizing. They say the separation of God is hell, or something rather, well that is the life i live. A man who is aware of his separation from God. It is very painful.

Please if you are reading this, do no misinterpret me. I am not a Bible bashing atheist agnostic or what have you. I grew up in private baptist schools all my life up until college, which is the place that changed feelings about God. I just feel hopeless now. Thanks for reading.

first of all you need to know that god exist. here is one logical argument: lets say that you will find a robot that is slmost identical to human (including the abillity to reproduce). do you think that such a robot is evidence for design?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

a robot is evidence for design?

Every robot, every piece of technology, was designed.

 

[Braydeno]

It would be helpful if you mention what you believe "denying the flesh" is and what you did, when you say you practiced it.

i had my demons when i did that, depression like OP. I was desperate for anything to get me out of it and god came into mind. I was so desperate i would do things I'd never do, good things like, cleaning the house and kitchen for my mom, being a nice to my little sister and buying her candy, eating way less and not smoking weed(denying the flesh) even made myself sweat under 2 blankets with all my clothes on while it was summer, just to show god i wanted him. You gotta show god you reaaaaallly want him. this all happened when i was having a mental breakdown and trust me, he made it go away, I just discovered god and i was filled with soooo much joy. You'll know it when he's with you, you'll Just know it. to me, denying the flesh means showing god you want him.

 

[RaymondG]

i had my demons when i did that, depression like OP. I was desperate for anything to get me out of it and god came into mind. I was so desperate i would do things I'd never do, good things like, cleaning the house and kitchen for my mom, being a nice to my little sister and buying her candy, eating way less and not smoking weed(denying the flesh) even made myself sweat under 2 blankets with all my clothes on while it was summer, just to show god i wanted him. You gotta show god you reaaaaallly want him. this all happened when i was having a mental breakdown and trust me, he made it go away, I just discovered god and i was filled with soooo much joy. You'll know it when he's with you, you'll Just know it.

OK, you are clear now.....you mean to give up some things that you desire and possibly putting your body through adverse conditions. Thanks for the clarification and Im happen this has worked for you.

 

[Sarah G van G]

Yesterday I was reading (partly on a thread here and partly looking things up) about people coming to faith in Christ through absurdism/existentialism. Maybe it is a way for intellectuals to override the nagging doubts the educated mind is plagued with.

I didn't go to university or college but in my thirties my faith took a major bashing because of (smarter than me with paperwork to prove it) friends basically mocking me, debating with me and picking my faith to bits until I had nothing left. I am still in touch with those friends ten years later and none of them are happy, fulfilled, peaceful people. Some are materially successful but they suffer from chronic emptiness. I feel sorry for them that they don't have faith and I am really grateful that I was able to regain my relationship with Jesus as my Guru and Saviour. I just started off with praying. Praying makes people feel better even just from a neuroplasticity perspective so it is logical to do it even if one has doubts that God exists and is listening. I like to think that God meets us where we are at and has full understanding of our lurking doubts.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I am a sufferer of major depression. I also have anxiety and panic on top of that. I just got through seeing a counselor from a church. He said I need the Holy Spirit to help me with my pain and depression. I tried my best to believe and I told him I was an agnostic that prayed. I said i kind of believe, but a big part of me doesn't. I have suffered believing since my college years. I am 30 now. I went out of the meeting almost feeling worse than before, because now I am reliving my intense days of doubting and unbelief, and now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God. So i feel worse now,having major depression and now battling my old battles of unbelief, both of which are almost unbearable. The other night i had the worst dream i ever had. All i did was toss and turn, in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe. Like a trapped feeling, hard to explain, but it was agonizing. They say the separation of God is hell, or something rather, well that is the life i live. A man who is aware of his separation from God. It is very painful.

Please if you are reading this, do no misinterpret me. I am not a Bible bashing atheist agnostic or what have you. I grew up in private baptist schools all my life up until college, which is the place that changed feelings about God. I just feel hopeless now. Thanks for reading.

I've had some of those feelings along my journey of faith, and I know it isn't any fun. Depression stinks. However, I also know, MCA, that despite what you feel at the moment due to your bouts with depression, Jesus is there with you even when the room seems dim and empty. He's just very quite about it, and just like the wind, He's comes and He goes, and He comes again. So, hang in there and know that according to His Word, He does love you, and He knows that you're experiencing the pain that you do--as in fact many of us have also felt from time to time. Just know you're not really alone, even though it may feel like it.



Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[paul1149]

in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe.

Hi MCA,
Several times in the gospels people ask Jesus to increase their faith. Every time, Jesus' response is, essentially, that it is not quantity of faith that matters, but that they should use what faith they have, even if it be as small as a tiny mustard seed.

The various stewardship parables affirm this principle. It was the servants who used what they had, even if it was little, who were rewarded with more.

Try to find something you can believe about God. That He exists. If you're not sure of that, at least admit that you don't know everything and He indeed might exist. That He is good and created the world in love. That He cares for you. That after sin entered the world through man, in love Jesus came to pay for our sins and bring us back to God despite our weaknesses. That He wants to help you in your current situation, even if you can't see or feel it at the moment.

Find something positive to believe about God, or to believe God for. This is a much better place than to languish in negative unbelief. You'll be giving God something to work with. "Do not despise the day of small beginnings".

It also really helps to refresh yourself in the Word. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word. Reading the Word is a powerful way to get this process started. Try not to dwell on where you are now. Take small steps to move forward, and you may find greater faith awaiting you.

 

[Sanoy]

Start simple. You recognize that the world is not right yes? That the way you feel isn't the way you should feel, as though there is a right way to be, a way that things should be. Start there, with Gods invisible attributes, like love, mercy, hope, faith, and compassion. Every person knows that these things are right, that these things are descriptions of how we should be. We know them, without knowing why. When we think on those things, and speak their meaning, we actually refer to God. God is the paradigm that these things refer to. They don't refer to distant and abstract unknowables, but to God Himself. He is that close to our hearts. Start thinking about those things, but instead of thinking of them as inexplicable "oughts" see them as they are, as a person. That person is Christ who has come to rescue you and to restore the world to the way it was meant to be.

 

[LaraLara]

I am a sufferer of major depression. I also have anxiety and panic on top of that. I just got through seeing a counselor from a church. He said I need the Holy Spirit to help me with my pain and depression. I tried my best to believe and I told him I was an agnostic that prayed. I said i kind of believe, but a big part of me doesn't. I have suffered believing since my college years. I am 30 now. I went out of the meeting almost feeling worse than before, because now I am reliving my intense days of doubting and unbelief, and now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God. So i feel worse now,having major depression and now battling my old battles of unbelief, both of which are almost unbearable. The other night i had the worst dream i ever had. All i did was toss and turn, in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe. Like a trapped feeling, hard to explain, but it was agonizing. They say the separation of God is hell, or something rather, well that is the life i live. A man who is aware of his separation from God. It is very painful.

Please if you are reading this, do no misinterpret me. I am not a Bible bashing atheist agnostic or what have you. I grew up in private baptist schools all my life up until college, which is the place that changed feelings about God. I just feel hopeless now. Thanks for reading.

To my experience depression is not very conductive to belief. You may need to wait till the depression is over to be able to believe.

 

[Bluerose31]

I am a sufferer of major depression. I also have anxiety and panic on top of that. I just got through seeing a counselor from a church. He said I need the Holy Spirit to help me with my pain and depression. I tried my best to believe and I told him I was an agnostic that prayed. I said i kind of believe, but a big part of me doesn't. I have suffered believing since my college years. I am 30 now. I went out of the meeting almost feeling worse than before, because now I am reliving my intense days of doubting and unbelief, and now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God. So i feel worse now,having major depression and now battling my old battles of unbelief, both of which are almost unbearable. The other night i had the worst dream i ever had. All i did was toss and turn, in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe. Like a trapped feeling, hard to explain, but it was agonizing. They say the separation of God is hell, or something rather, well that is the life i live. A man who is aware of his separation from God. It is very painful.

Please if you are reading this, do no misinterpret me. I am not a Bible bashing atheist agnostic or what have you. I grew up in private baptist schools all my life up until college, which is the place that changed feelings about God. I just feel hopeless now. Thanks for reading.

I am sorry you are suffering so much. God loves you very much. Even if you are agnostic God still hears your prayers and loves you. I don't believe God is all powerful and I feel that is the reason people suffer. But I know he cares for us like a loving Father and wants us to be safe. I pray that Jesus comfort you and give you peace.

 

[Sanoy]

To my experience depression is not very conductive to belief. You may need to wait till the depression is over to be able to believe.

I'm a Christian and I suffer from it deeply, including anxiety, and crippling self doubt. It's hard to explain but with God it is beside me rather than a part of me. I am strong and weak at the same time. It's there but it doesn't own me or control my actions. It is a thorn and it hurts, but I trample upon it nonetheless by His power. There is never a better time than now to come to Christ.

 

[crossnote]

Read God's Word and watch it do it's work in you.

 

[MCA]

I am the OP. I appreciate everyones response. I am listening closely as i am reaching out for sincere help. I have refrained from replying right away because i dont want your words to cease. Because i am such a practical person, from the replies i have noted to clean up my diet, read the Bible, pray, and will consider giving up my own desires for Gods help. As of right now what honestly feels the best is talking to somebody. Although it may not be the ultimate healer, it feels so good. I was just now stepped out of the office, to find my only friend from work out there too, just standing there. He never goes outside and today i caught him out there, as i walked up to him he looked troubled, and to think im the one with the trouble, anyways i said is everything okay man, turns out he was just tired from work. Anyways it felt so good to talk to someone and kind of forget my peril. The reason my pain is so intense i think is because of the added affect of panic and anxiety, i.,e my mind says oh wow this depression i have really hurts, oh wait i dont believe in God so i am alone in all this depression, if im alone in all this there is no hope, if there is no hope, there is no reason to live. That is what im dealing with. So i appreciate all your comments, For the time being i am going to start acting on this, i.e, i am going to hang out with people, maybe talk about it if i feel comfortable with them, and just seek God.

 

[Grace2022]

I am a sufferer of major depression. I also have anxiety and panic on top of that. I just got through seeing a counselor from a church. He said I need the Holy Spirit to help me with my pain and depression. I tried my best to believe and I told him I was an agnostic that prayed. I said i kind of believe, but a big part of me doesn't. I have suffered believing since my college years. I am 30 now. I went out of the meeting almost feeling worse than before, because now I am reliving my intense days of doubting and unbelief, and now thinking i can never get real true help unless i can believe in God. So i feel worse now,having major depression and now battling my old battles of unbelief, both of which are almost unbearable. The other night i had the worst dream i ever had. All i did was toss and turn, in my dream i was severely pained by my inability to believe. Like a trapped feeling, hard to explain, but it was agonizing. They say the separation of God is hell, or something rather, well that is the life i live. A man who is aware of his separation from God. It is very painful.

Please if you are reading this, do no misinterpret me. I am not a Bible bashing atheist agnostic or what have you. I grew up in private baptist schools all my life up until college, which is the place that changed feelings about God. I just feel hopeless now. Thanks for reading.

 

[Grace2022]

Hi,
you are in pain. What you need is to relax and pray to Jesus Christ. Begin with the Lord's prayer then ask Him to help you. Ask for strength and faith. Invite Lord Jesus to come into your heart and life. He is real. The Holy Spirit is real. God the father is real.

I used to be like you. Then my husband was told he has terminal cancer with weeks to live. I realised in that moment that I needed God, I had no strength of my own left. I felt the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit soon after and ever since that time, three years ago, I have coped and felt lots of strength and terrific peace. My husband died, I coped. Now my life has become new and incredibly good. I have a new relationship and my life and home are filled with light and love. Jesus helped me through the darkness and tunnels of despair and eventually into the bright light. All because I pray! I ask for help and guidance on everything. I go to church to be with others who are true believers.

So pray, find a church, join the wonderful world of faith in Lord Jesus. It will transform your life and save your soul. Xx