I agree.
I was saved into the Armenian theological viewpoint and have found it to be an almost lifelong struggle. Only a few years ago God answered my prayer to show me Truth. I have since embraced reformed theology and have found incredible freedom. Accepting Gods sovereignty and man's utter depravity is foundational.
Neither Arminianism or Calvinism fully reflect what scripture says. Both have the unfortunate trappings of being man-made theories, and can easily obscure what scripture says through man-made terms and through filtering scripture through human philosophy.
Consider the Calvinist/reformed teaching on Total Depravity which you mentioned.
Total Depravity is also known as Total Inability. It teaches that all men sin (
Rom 3:10-23), that sin corrupts every aspect of our being, such as flesh, heart, mind, etc, (
Mark 7:21-23), and that man cannot save himself (
Psalm 60:10-12,
Is 63:5-6).
All this is true, but the reformed teaching goes beyond this to claim that man is so tainted by sin that he cannot even accept the offer of Christ’s salvation and receive Christ's deliverance from sin.,
This is contrary to scripture, which asks us to believe and says we can receive the gospel in faith:
Rom 10:9-13,
John 3:14-21,
Luke 11:5-13,
Heb 11:13-16,
Gal 3:24,
Deut 30:11-14, I Cor 15:1, etc).
As such, most Calvinists hold that spiritual regeneration must occur *before* one believes (to allow the person to believe), and still others that we must receive the Spirit before faith. Both of these are contrary to scripture which states we receive the Holy Spirit after we believe, not before:
Gal 3:2-3,
Gal 3:10-14,
Eph 1:11-14,
II Cor 5:17, etc). It is also contrary to the idea that Christ's work was sufficient on the cross to save man.
By taking the teaching of sin corrupting man far beyond the bounds of what scripture actually states, this teaching obscures the simplicity of the gospel as taught in Jn 3:16 and other places - that those who believe will not perish, but hold eternal life.
What are the doctrines of grace?
What is Calvinism and is it biblical? What are the five points of Calvinism?
How are predestination and election connected with foreknowledge?